BOOK EXCERPT

Two for the Road: Our Love Affair with American Food

Roadfood experts Jane and Michael Stern (Todd France)

Excerpt from "Two for the Road: Our Love Affair with American Food" by Jane and Michael Stern. Copyright © 2005 by Jane and Michael Stern. Reprinted with permission by Houghton Mifflin Company. Buy the book from amazon.com

Our first date was over a white clam pizza at Pepe's Pizzeria on Wooster Square in New Haven, Connecticut, and it was instantly apparent as we gazed into each other's eyes across the thin-crusted Neapolitan pie, speckled with tiny, tender clams and frosted with olive oil, that we shared a passion for garlic. Our initial lust for each other was fueled by an orgy of lobster rolls, split hot dogs, Yankee Doodle Double Dandy Doodle Burger cheeseburgers, calzones, and cannolis.

Michael had won a Woodrow Wilson Fellowship at Yale, where we had both gone to study art, so we had plenty of money to spend exploring restaurants up and down the Yankee shore. Compared to the average grad student, he was a high roller with a monthly stipend to squander. He also possessed what was, to Jane's New York City sensibility, an amazing status symbol: a car. At twenty-one, Jane had not yet learned how to drive. The car was our ticket to romance and to eating adventures.

The fellowship money was diverted from expensive textbooks and art museum field trips to fund a comparative study of the differences among pizzas as made by Pepe's, Sally's, and the Spot in the old Italian neighborhood, as well as the Greek-style pizzas at Pizza House, which was less than fifty yards from our apartment. If pizza was our major interest,we minored in fried dough at summertime fairs, clams and chowder and lobsters all along the coast, and Yorkshire pudding at Mory's, the Yalie dining club, where it was still possible to have a completely gelatinized meal, from aspic to Jell-O. Nearly every day, Michael had a choice to face: a seminar in medieval imagery in a dank basement lecture room in New Haven or a trip to the Rhode Island beaches with Jane for a shore dinner and a hot fudge sundae on ginger ice cream? Our passion for each other, and for finding things to eat, won out every time.

We were married in 1970, and a year later we got our degrees, which meant that the fellowship-subsidized grad school eating bonanza was coming to an end. It was the worst of times and the best of times. We moved to a little shack in the woods of Guilford, Connecticut, where we didn't even have a telephone. We were hiding out from life. Jane's mother and father died of cancer within a year of each other. Her stepfather disinherited her. Her two favorite cousins died, and her aunt was institutionalized. In despair, Jane made the fifteen mile drive into New Haven three times a week to stare at the index cards in the Yale Employment Center. Michael spent his time cultivating and smoking cannabis. After tens of thousands of dollars were spent on our highfalutin educations, we realized we had little interest in pursuing what we had studied.

And so we did what generations of writers have done before us. We hit the road. The difference is that when we did so, we had no idea that we were to become writers. We just wanted to get away from everything.

We proposed a book about truck-stop dining to a young editor, who thought it was a cute idea and gave us the princely advance of $2,500.We thought we had won the lottery. But after signing the contract to write the book, we froze. Who were we to write about food, even truck-stop food? Where did we come off, telling people what was good to eat? Our shared mental image of a restaurant critic was gleaned from old movies: a patrician fellow with a silk ascot, his pinkie in the air and a sneer on his face. Somebody like Vincent Price but soured with indigestion. Restaurant critics were gourmets, and gourmets ate such grotesque things as creamed snails, sick-looking liver pâtés, cheeses that smelled like feet, and odd organs from inside unusual animals. In our mind's eye, gourmet food was joke food, like what you might be forced to ingest during a fraternity hazing. We preferred hamburgers, mashed potatoes, and apple cobbler.

The notion that we had promised our publisher to write a coast-to- coast guidebook was overwhelming. We had pretty much not gone anywhere at all. We had no knowledge of exactly where these marvelous truck stops were, scant experience writing, and no money beyond the first half of our advance.

We sat together at the kitchen table of our $99-per-month cabin trying to figure out what to do. The one-room shack where we lived might seem romantic if you saw it in the movies, but in real life it was hideously uncomfortable. After living there for nearly a year, we discovered a case of decomposing dynamite in the crawlspace above the ceiling, left behind by a 1960s radical who was a former tenant. The gas stove was so old and decrepit that it once combusted and singed Jane's eyebrows off as she checked on a roasting chicken. This home of ours was a good incentive for getting on the road.

Note:This story was accurate when it was published. Please be sure to confirm all rates and details directly with the companies in question before planning your trip.
 
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In order to provide any reimbursement for a lost suitcase, most airlines and insurance companies require an itemized list of exactly what was inside it. Unfortunately, remembering everything you packed after the fact is virtually impossible. To avoid the headache, take pictures of the items you're going to put in your suitcase with your digital camera or cell phone. The photos will make creating the list a breeze, and, in the event of a dispute with the airline or insurance agent, you have some visual evidence of ownership.

— Erica Rounsefell
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Once we know where we're going, my girlfriends and I divide up the list of things we'd like to do on our trip and put someone in charge of each item on the list. Then that person does the legwork by finding directions and prices, making reservations (if necessary), and researching nearby places to stop for a snack or a meal. Our method means that no one person is doing all the planning.

— Carol J. Leisch
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The help of a concierge at an expensive hotel is available even if you're staying at a motel across the street. Go to the concierge with $5 (or whatever the assistance is worth to you) held discreetly but visibly in your hand. Chances are you won't be asked whether you're staying at the hotel. This worked for us once when we were stranded by a blizzard. We tried to rebook our flights on our own, but phones at the airlines were busy for two days straight. The concierge at a fancy hotel a few blocks away got through on his first try and managed to rearrange our flights for us.

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A small compass is a great travel aid. Aside from the obvious benefits during country drives or hikes, it's extremely helpful in navigating winding city streets and orienting yourself once you exit a subway station.

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For long overnight flights, pack a dry washcloth in a Ziploc bag in your carry-on. Before landing, ask the flight attendant for a cup of hot (not boiling) water. Carefully pour the water into the Ziploc bag and then wipe your face and hands with the steaming cloth. It's like a portable sauna!

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On a trip to Molokai, the plane we were on was small, and luggage was crammed in every which way. At baggage claim, we noticed that someone had packed a bottle of Pine-Sol, and it had broken and leaked everywhere. Now we line our suitcases with garbage bags to protect our clothes—just in case. (It's also smart in case your bag gets left on the tarmac in a downpour.)

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I teach a Tulane University seminar on independent European travel for first-timers. Until recently, I advocated Europe's great rail networks as the way to go. Now, with the plethora of budget airlines, I recommend a combination of the two. But it makes the planning stage—which I find almost as much fun as actually taking the trip—more involved. Thank goodness for whichbudget.com, a Web site that lists, by city, which budget airlines serve which cities. Then, to find links to all of Europe's state railway Web sites, visit railfaneurope.net. Each site generally features a travel planner and, almost invariably, an English-language option.

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Don't settle for the first answer to your travel question. If you need flight information, it's a good idea to phone the airline more than once and ask the same question. Recently, I wanted to see if I could fly standby on an earlier flight the same day. The first time I called, I was told that the earlier flight was booked. The second time, however, an agent said there were in fact seats available, and I could certainly fly standby. In the end, not only was I able to get on the flight, but I was upgraded to first class.

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My hearing loss once made it impossible to hear any alarm clock. Then I found the Shake Awake, an alarm clock that vibrates. I no longer stare at the ceiling all night prior to an early flight in fear of oversleeping. I clip Shake Awake to my pillow or place it on a hard surface near my bed, where its rattling definitely gets my attention.

— Kathy Hopkins
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If you visit a country where you don't speak the language, pick up a book of your hotel's matches or one of its business cards; they usually have the hotel's name and address printed on them. Then when you're out sightseeing and want to return to your hotel, show the matchbook or card to the cabdriver if he doesn't speak English.

— Verne F. Noyes
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Before traveling to any city, do a search on the Internet of the city name and the word "coupon" ("New Orleans coupon"). You will find many sites offering two-for-one, percentage-off, and dollar-off discounts. On a recent trip to St.Louis, we saved $100 at restaurants and attractions.

— Carolyn J. Kubacki
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Most cruise lines offer certain drinks for free--juice, lemonade, iced tea, coffee, milk, tea-but you'll have to pay for soda. If you're a caffeine addict, pack a bottle or two. Unlike on a plane, you won't have to worry about paying for the added weight.

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On a Northwest flight from Wichita to Cleveland, a piece of my luggage was delivered more than a day after I arrived. In the meantime, I had to buy some replacement items. Save your receipts! I turned in the receipts when I checked in for the return flight, and the ticket agent issued me a $50 check.(Northwest allows up to $50 in interim expenses for the first 24 hours, and $25 for each day afterward, with a maximum reimbursement of $150.)

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If you're traveling with a companion, pack half of your belongings in his or her suitcase and vice versa. This way, if one piece of luggage gets lost, you'll each still have some clothing.

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Grab-rails and nonskid surfaces aren't common in European bathtubs and showers. I pack a few decorative rubber pads that have non-adhesive suction cups, so I can use them when needed to prevent a slip or fall, and then I take them with me to the next hotel.

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Before I embark on a trip, I cover the dirt of my potted plants with plastic bags after watering them well. (Cut a few slits in the bags and keep plants out of direct sunlight.) The soil will stay damp for about three weeks.

— Jean Walsh
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On my first trip to Cancun, I noticed that my hotel room had a damp, musty odor. The next time I went, I brought two plug-in air fresheners: one for the bedroom and one for the bathroom. This helped tremendously. It was a pleasure to walk in and have a fresh-smelling room. Just make sure you have an adapter, if you need one.

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Baby wipes aren't just for babies. Slip a travel-size pack into your carry-on bag and use the wipes to kill germs on public toilet seats and in phone booths. In a pinch, they can also remove stubborn stains from clothing.

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I have the words "hotel" and "taxi" on my cell- phone speed dial. On a trip, I change the numbers, but leave the preprogrammed titles the same--instant access and no more little slips of paper everywhere.

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If you're headed to a country that requires a visa, ask the consulate of that country, in the United States, whether visas are also issued at the airport there on arrival. In many cases (like Turkey and Egypt), they are. Obtaining the visa on arrival is a much simpler procedure and a real money-saver: You do not have to have photographs taken (they figure your passport already has a photo), you do not pay a hefty fee to the U.S.-situated consulate of the country, you avoid the expense and risk of mailing your passport to that consulate in advance of departure, and you avoid the expense of using a visa-acquiring company in the United States. But be sure the consulate is correct that the visa can easily be obtained on arrival.

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If you plan to visit a theme park, always bring a few sandwich-size Ziploc bags. They'll protect your cell phone and wallet when you're riding on flumes and other water attractions.

— Jack Bell
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Accidentally reformat your camera's memory card? As long as you don't overwrite the disk by shooting more photos, those original pictures are still there. Buy another card to use in the meantime, and then, when you get home, either purchase a file-recovery software program (about $35) or take the card to a camera shop and see if someone there can help.

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I switch from street shoes to flannel-lined moccasins at the airport. It saves time at the security checkpoint, and I'm comfortable during the flight. Once I land, I switch back to my street shoes.

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Some international airlines still give passengers a goody bag that includes a toothbrush, an eye mask, and socks for the flight. Keep those socks: They're handy when visiting temples in Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia, where you must remove your shoes before entering. I slipped on the socks and my feet stayed both clean and warm!

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You can enjoy free airport-area parking by staying the night before departure at an airport hotel or motel that offers park-and-fly rates. The cost of that overnight (which usually entitles you to two weeks of parking) is much less than what you'd otherwise pay at an airport parking lot.

— Mike Saloudek
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My husband packs Q-tips in a plastic cassette case. It's small and snaps shut, keeping the cotton swabs clean and dry.

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Just before I go through airport security, to save time and to avoid leaving something important behind, I collect all loose items--change, money clip, belt buckle, pens--in a large Ziploc bag. I send the bag through the X-ray machine with the rest of my luggage. After picking it up at the other end, I put the things back in place and either toss the bag or keep it for the return trip.

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To find the perfect destination with airfare that meets your budget, try Travelocity's Dream Maps travel tool (travelocity.com). Select a maximum fare and a type of destination (city, national park, etc.) and the Web site will display a variety of trips matching that description.

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Save major bucks by going onto eBay and purchasing coupons and gift certificates that others don't want or can't use for lodging, transportation, food, and admissions. I've found great discounts for airline and Amtrak tickets; car rentals; entrance to amusement parks such as SeaWorld, Disney, or Universal Studios; as well as overnights at many hotels. For example, I bought a $30 savings coupon at SeaWorld for only $1. Simply search for your destination and then type in "coupon" or "gift certificate."

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It's easy to lose track of time in a windowless interior cabin. Before going to sleep, tune into the ship's bridge-camera channel for real-time videos of the front (or bow) of the boat. The screen will act like a virtual porthole, and you'll rise and shine with the sunrise.

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