BOOK EXCERPT

Two for the Road: Our Love Affair with American Food

Roadfood experts Jane and Michael Stern (Todd France)

Excerpt from "Two for the Road: Our Love Affair with American Food" by Jane and Michael Stern. Copyright © 2005 by Jane and Michael Stern. Reprinted with permission by Houghton Mifflin Company. Buy the book from amazon.com

Our first date was over a white clam pizza at Pepe's Pizzeria on Wooster Square in New Haven, Connecticut, and it was instantly apparent as we gazed into each other's eyes across the thin-crusted Neapolitan pie, speckled with tiny, tender clams and frosted with olive oil, that we shared a passion for garlic. Our initial lust for each other was fueled by an orgy of lobster rolls, split hot dogs, Yankee Doodle Double Dandy Doodle Burger cheeseburgers, calzones, and cannolis.

Michael had won a Woodrow Wilson Fellowship at Yale, where we had both gone to study art, so we had plenty of money to spend exploring restaurants up and down the Yankee shore. Compared to the average grad student, he was a high roller with a monthly stipend to squander. He also possessed what was, to Jane's New York City sensibility, an amazing status symbol: a car. At twenty-one, Jane had not yet learned how to drive. The car was our ticket to romance and to eating adventures.

The fellowship money was diverted from expensive textbooks and art museum field trips to fund a comparative study of the differences among pizzas as made by Pepe's, Sally's, and the Spot in the old Italian neighborhood, as well as the Greek-style pizzas at Pizza House, which was less than fifty yards from our apartment. If pizza was our major interest,we minored in fried dough at summertime fairs, clams and chowder and lobsters all along the coast, and Yorkshire pudding at Mory's, the Yalie dining club, where it was still possible to have a completely gelatinized meal, from aspic to Jell-O. Nearly every day, Michael had a choice to face: a seminar in medieval imagery in a dank basement lecture room in New Haven or a trip to the Rhode Island beaches with Jane for a shore dinner and a hot fudge sundae on ginger ice cream? Our passion for each other, and for finding things to eat, won out every time.

We were married in 1970, and a year later we got our degrees, which meant that the fellowship-subsidized grad school eating bonanza was coming to an end. It was the worst of times and the best of times. We moved to a little shack in the woods of Guilford, Connecticut, where we didn't even have a telephone. We were hiding out from life. Jane's mother and father died of cancer within a year of each other. Her stepfather disinherited her. Her two favorite cousins died, and her aunt was institutionalized. In despair, Jane made the fifteen mile drive into New Haven three times a week to stare at the index cards in the Yale Employment Center. Michael spent his time cultivating and smoking cannabis. After tens of thousands of dollars were spent on our highfalutin educations, we realized we had little interest in pursuing what we had studied.

And so we did what generations of writers have done before us. We hit the road. The difference is that when we did so, we had no idea that we were to become writers. We just wanted to get away from everything.

We proposed a book about truck-stop dining to a young editor, who thought it was a cute idea and gave us the princely advance of $2,500.We thought we had won the lottery. But after signing the contract to write the book, we froze. Who were we to write about food, even truck-stop food? Where did we come off, telling people what was good to eat? Our shared mental image of a restaurant critic was gleaned from old movies: a patrician fellow with a silk ascot, his pinkie in the air and a sneer on his face. Somebody like Vincent Price but soured with indigestion. Restaurant critics were gourmets, and gourmets ate such grotesque things as creamed snails, sick-looking liver pâtés, cheeses that smelled like feet, and odd organs from inside unusual animals. In our mind's eye, gourmet food was joke food, like what you might be forced to ingest during a fraternity hazing. We preferred hamburgers, mashed potatoes, and apple cobbler.

The notion that we had promised our publisher to write a coast-to- coast guidebook was overwhelming. We had pretty much not gone anywhere at all. We had no knowledge of exactly where these marvelous truck stops were, scant experience writing, and no money beyond the first half of our advance.

We sat together at the kitchen table of our $99-per-month cabin trying to figure out what to do. The one-room shack where we lived might seem romantic if you saw it in the movies, but in real life it was hideously uncomfortable. After living there for nearly a year, we discovered a case of decomposing dynamite in the crawlspace above the ceiling, left behind by a 1960s radical who was a former tenant. The gas stove was so old and decrepit that it once combusted and singed Jane's eyebrows off as she checked on a roasting chicken. This home of ours was a good incentive for getting on the road.

Note:This story was accurate when it was published. Please be sure to confirm all rates and details directly with the companies in question before planning your trip.
 
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Bring a single-hole punch and lanyard on your next cruise. Once aboard, you can make a hole in your plastic key card and attach the lanyard, allowing you to carry the key around your neck. This is especially useful when your dress or slacks have no pockets. Just be sure to put the hole where it won't interfere with the card's magnetic strip.

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Sign up for guest programs at every hotel chain that offers one, even if you haven't stayed at that hotel before or think you may not travel enough to reap benefits from multiple stays. Some programs send coupons for discounted rooms or complimentary room upgrades just for being a member. After signing up for the Omni Hotels Select Guest program, I received a coupon that I was able to redeem for a room in Chicago for $80 per night.

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Before I visit poorer countries, I pop into a thrift store and pick up some toys, stuffed animals, and an old suitcase or carryall. I try to avoid toys like Easter bunnies or Santas, which could be offensive, and expensive things that might embarrass parents. The contents of my extra bag bring joy to countless kids who have never had a thing.

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We've traveled to both Mexico and China in the last year and had the same experience in both countries: When we tried to exchange dollars to local currency, the banks wouldn't take bills with graffiti on them--telephone numbers, names, doodles, anything. Nor would they accept any bills that were torn or damaged. (We noticed a group from France having the same problem with their euros.) So before you leave home, make sure that any money you plan on exchanging is absolutely crisp and clean--or better yet, ask your bank specifically for brand-new bills.

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If you know you'll be cooking while on vacation, bring along small amounts of the spices you need for your favorite recipes. You'll save by not buying large containers of spices.

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When parking in a crowded garage, don't settle for the first space available on a lower level. It's probably a half-day hike from the elevator. Instead, drive to the upper levels, where you can usually park right next to the elevator. This tip was very useful in Las Vegas, especially when checking in and out of hotels with our luggage.

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Before leaving for a vacation, I print out all our reservations and directions, and I create a contact sheet for emergencies. Then I gather all the papers together, punch some holes, and place them in a folder that has a middle section for three–holed papers. The side pockets hold brochures, business cards, ticket stubs, receipts, and maps that we collect along the way and want to bring home for our scrapbook.

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I'm a gadget freak, and I don't like to travel without things like my digital camera and iPod. On one trip, though, I put my camera down in a crowded restaurant and then forgot to put it back in my bag. By the time I remembered it, the camera was long gone. Now, I attach those kinds of items to my daypack with a lanyard. They're still easy to pull out and use, and they never get left behind.

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I always bring a small flashlight to hotels in case there's a blackout. The building may not be equipped with emergency lighting, and, if necessary, my flashlight will help me quickly locate the nearest exit.

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In order to provide any reimbursement for a lost suitcase, most airlines and insurance companies require an itemized list of exactly what was inside it. Unfortunately, remembering everything you packed after the fact is virtually impossible. To avoid the headache, take pictures of the items you're going to put in your suitcase with your digital camera or cell phone. The photos will make creating the list a breeze, and, in the event of a dispute with the airline or insurance agent, you have some visual evidence of ownership.

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It helps to have a calculator if you plan to do a lot of shopping in foreign markets. When you find something you like, hand the seller the calculator and ask him to enter his best price. It's easy to convert the response into dollars so you know what you're spending. If necessary, the calculator can be used to haggle, especially if you don't speak the language.

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My husband cut an old contact lens case in two and uses the halves to carry his medication when we're traveling. He prefers them to regular pillboxes because lens cases are watertight and compact enough to carry inside a shirt pocket.

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Scuba-diving vacations can get expensive. As I start planning a trip, I call one of the local PADI dive shops and ask the employees about accommodations nearby. They give me hotel connections I couldn't find on my own, and I often save enough to pay for my dives.

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Don't be too quick to grab one of those GST tax-rebate envelopes that are everywhere in Canadian airports. The envelopes look official, but they're really from companies that process the request for you and often pocket 15 percent or more. Instead, go to the Canada Revenue Agency Web site (cra-arc.gc.ca), download the Application for Visitor Tax Refund, and then file the request yourself. Your check will arrive in a few weeks. Just remember to get your receipt stamped by the Canada Border Services Agency at the airport.

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When carrying around my small umbrella, I put it in a Ziploc bag. After using it, I can store the umbrella, back inside the Ziploc, in my shoulder bag without getting everything else soaked.

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Consider asking your driver or tour guide to haggle on your behalf at bazaars and souks. (But don't let them lead you to places where they might have a connection to the shopkeeper.) The money you tip them will usually be less than the markup on prices for tourists.

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You can suspend more than your newspaper when you're away. On several occasions, DirecTV has agreed to put my account on hold while I was traveling--without penalties, additional fees, reconnection charges, or the like. So, instead of a monthly bill of $65, mine gets prorated.

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On my first trip to Cancun, I noticed that my hotel room had a damp, musty odor. The next time I went, I brought two plug-in air fresheners: one for the bedroom and one for the bathroom. This helped tremendously. It was a pleasure to walk in and have a fresh-smelling room. Just make sure you have an adapter, if you need one.

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Anyone traveling with multiple electronic devices (laptops, PDAs, cell phones, digital cameras, MP3 players) can easily confuse all the accessories that come with them. To keep all battery chargers, USB cables, media cards, and owner's manuals safe, dry, and organized, place them in individual Ziploc bags. You can put a label inside the bag to identify the contents, and one label wrapped around each cable to identify it.

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On international flights, I used to fumble through my belongings--often having to retrieve them from the overhead bin--after a flight attendant appeared with customs and immigration forms. (I don't know of many people who have their passport's number and date of issue memorized.) Now I write all that info on the bookmark of whatever I plan to read on the long flight so I don't have to dig out my passport. I can fill out the card quickly--giving me more time to loan my pen to all the people who never seem to carry one.

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Take along an extra duffel bag for your laundry. As your vacation progresses, throw dirty clothes into the duffel, keeping your suitcase for fresh clothes. At the end of the trip, put a tag on the bag and check it at the airport. This will also give you space in your luggage to bring home souvenirs or new clothes.

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If you're traveling with someone, discuss a central meeting place in case you get separated. My husband and I were in Paris waiting to board the Metro. He was able to board the train, but I was left behind on the platform. Having a plan saved both time and needless anxiety.

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Whenever my husband and I get new pairs of eyeglasses, we relegate the old ones to our luggage, along with an inexpensive repair kit from the drugstore. If something happens while we're away from home, we can hopefully fix the glasses ourselves. If they're beyond saving, we have the backup pairs to get us through the rest of the trip.

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Don't rush off the car-rental lot. Before driving away--especially in foreign countries where the controls might be unfamiliar-test the headlights and brakes, and look for the extra tire and changing tools. I once had a rental with malfunctioning brakes in Mexico and caused a minor accident--one that could certainly have been avoided had I checked them properly before leaving the lot.

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Grab-rails and nonskid surfaces aren't common in European bathtubs and showers. I pack a few decorative rubber pads that have non-adhesive suction cups, so I can use them when needed to prevent a slip or fall, and then I take them with me to the next hotel.

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My husband and I create personal cards (like business cards) before we leave home. We put our name, address, phone, and email address on them, as well as a picture of us. How many people have gotten home from a trip, looked at a slip of paper with a name and address, and wondered, Who is this? The picture helps link a name to a face.

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Every summer, we drive out West from Pennsylvania with our two kids. To avoid that infamous road trip question ("Are we there yet?"), I give each child a map with our route highlighted on it. Along the way, they can match up the town names with road signs we pass, and that way, they always know exactly where we are and how much farther we have to go until we'll get there.

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Most hotels provide cloth shoe mitts but not polish. In a pinch, a dollop of skin cream on a shoe mitt (or even a tissue) can make scuff marks vanish and leave shoes as shiny as if they'd been cleaned by a pro.

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For overnight flights, pack a few Oral B Brush-Ups in your carry-on. Before the plane lands, you can "brush" your teeth, leaving you refreshed and ready for the day!

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If you wait to buy a discount-granting Entertainment Book until around six months before it expires (expiration is usually scheduled for November), you can often buy a $20 to $47 book for as little as $10, plus $5 shipping. Online access to the coupons is sold for $7 a month. These are great for vacations out of town.

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