ROAD TRIP

Wisconsin: Of Farmers and Dells

This is the great American Midwest with a bracing dash of weird: Where else will you find an albino muskrat, world-class waterslides, and a truly foul cheese?

DAY 1
In eight years of annual road trips, my friend Shawnda and I have never seen anything like the Garbage Plate at Franks Diner in Kenosha. We're at the counter, watching in horror as the cook fills plates with a heaping mishmash of eggs, ham, hash browns, and more. It looks like someone stepped on Paul Bunyan's omelet."

What's up, chicken butt?" asks our waiter. "Ready to order?" Franks is proudly sassy, and we're immediately dubbed the Magellans because we had to call twice from the road for directions. It's the kind of place where everyone feels at home. When we slap down money for the check, the patron next to us gets our change from the register.

Taking a tip from Jerome Pohlen's Oddball Wisconsin, a 2001 book that proves indispensable (if a little out of date), we meander over to Burlington. In 1929, two reporters made up a story about a lie-off between the fire and police departments. The following year, the Burlington Liars' Club contest was held for real. Plaques downtown honor the winning lies, such as one from someone in 1976 who saw a worm "steal the fur coat off a caterpillar" during a cold spell.

The sandwiches at The Elegant Farmer in Mukwonago are blah, but the apple pie is the best we've ever had. We ponder buying a tub of frozen cherries, then think better of it.

Desperate to do something besides eat, we drive north to the Horicon Marsh State Wildlife Area. It's the largest freshwater cattail marsh in the U.S., as well as (according to the website) a Wetland of International Importance and a Globally Important Bird Area. Unfortunately, it's also a National Mosquito Refuge—the insects are biting us right through our clothes—and we have no choice but to abort our walk.

At the Fountain Prairie Inn & Farms, an 1899 Victorian farmhouse in Fall River lovingly restored by John and Dorothy Priske, we take the two smaller rooms (of five total) and share a bathroom down the hall. The inn is airy and nice, not fusty and crammed with knickknacks like many B&Bs are. Dorothy is a sweetheart, and Shawnda develops a crush on Ace, the Priskes' manic English springer spaniel. We also get a kick out of watching the farm's Highland cattle in the pasture: They're magnificent creatures.

Dorothy directs us to James Street Dining Company in Columbus for dinner (it has since closed). My filet is delicious, and we both enjoy the pumpkin bread with spice butter. As we debate dessert, the waitress approaches. "I have to ask," she says. "Are you celebrating anything?" We later daydream possible answers: our third marriage, a prison break, National Pickle Month....

Back at the inn, we finally get to meet Dorothy's husband, John, who is also super friendly. He's sorry that he won't see us tomorrow morning, but he has to get up before dawn because it's "butcher day." When the Priskes say that Fountain Prairie is a working farm, they're not kidding.

Lodging

Fountain Prairie Inn & Farms W1901 State Rd. 16, Fall River, 866/883-4775, fountainprairie.com, from $99

Food

Franks Diner 508 58th St., Kenosha, 262/657-1017, franksdinerkenosha.com, half Garbage Plate $7

Elegant Farmer 1545 Main St., Mukwonago, 262/363-6770, elegantfarmer.com, pie $2

Activities

Horicon Marsh State Wildlife Area N7728 Hwy. 28, Horicon, 920/387-7860, dnr.state.wi.us/org/land/wildlife/wildlife_areas/horicon

DAY 2
I wake up early and take many photos of the fog blanketing the pastures. Ace and I chill in the gazebo for 10 minutes, and then I return upstairs, where Dorothy has left a tray of coffee. She serves us breakfast in the dining room, and explains that most of the ingredients are from the area. The apple cider tastes more like apples than apples do.

Dorothy asks if she may join us for coffee, and we grill her about the restoration and what it's like to own a B&B. The Priskes have yet to start on the third floor; it turns out there's a ballroom upstairs. They clearly believe in the importance of farm life and local, sustainable food, as do Shawnda and I, so we're kind of embarrassed to tell her we're headed to kitschy Wisconsin Dells.

But first (kudos again to Oddball Wisconsin) we check out the "Aliens and Oddities" exhibit at the MacKenzie Environmental Education Center. Inside what looks like a serial killer's shed is the field trippers' reward for putting up with the educational stuff: a hermaphroditic deer's one-antlered skull, an albino muskrat, and a two-headed piglet in a jar filled with formaldehyde. (Apparently, some kids once stole the jar so they could dip their cigarettes in the liquid and smoke them.)

WISCONSIN'S WINDING WAYS

Note:This story was accurate when it was published. Please be sure to confirm all rates and details directly with the companies in question before planning your trip.
 
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Don't be afraid to go to a foreign pharmacy. I forgot to pack my prescription medication on a recent trip to France. When my problem acted up, I went to a local pharmacy. (Look for the green cross.) The pharmacist provided my medication without a prescription and at a fraction of what it would have cost in the United States. In fact, one could benefit by stocking up abroad on medications that would normally be acquired at home at a much higher price.

— Mainard Tom
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I don't go anywhere without individual packets of antibacterial wipes. I slip some in my carry-on, daypack, and shirt pocket. They're very convenient when you can't find any running water with which to wash your hands. And because they're antibacterial, they're also great for cleaning cuts, and the alcohol from the wipes helps stop the itching when you rub them on insect bites.

— Lawrence Brenner
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About a month before leaving on vacation, I start clipping the crossword puzzles from the daily newspaper and pasting them into a blank notebook. The puzzles keep me occupied during my trip. The newspaper's crosswords are so much more interesting than the generic books of them you can purchase at the airport.

— Kathie Meyer
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Travel soap dishes--the colorful plastic ones that have hinged lids--stop small, fragile items from getting damaged or lost in your bags. I can easily label and use them again and again and again.

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To feed a family of four in a very expensive tropical location like Anguilla or Bermuda (or most other Caribbean locations, for that matter), check to see if your hotel has phone books and look up the local pizza place. Nine times out of ten the pizza purveyors will deliver for free. You'll end up spending no more than $20 on pizza, bread sticks, and soda.

— Bianca Mims
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If you're headed to a country that requires a visa, ask the consulate of that country, in the United States, whether visas are also issued at the airport there on arrival. In many cases (like Turkey and Egypt), they are. Obtaining the visa on arrival is a much simpler procedure and a real money-saver: You do not have to have photographs taken (they figure your passport already has a photo), you do not pay a hefty fee to the U.S.-situated consulate of the country, you avoid the expense and risk of mailing your passport to that consulate in advance of departure, and you avoid the expense of using a visa-acquiring company in the United States. But be sure the consulate is correct that the visa can easily be obtained on arrival.

— Carmencita Soriano
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Use the shoeshine mitt often found in hotel bath- rooms to store your sunglasses. They fit nicely inside the pouch, and when you take them out, you have a soft material to clean them with. For extra protection while traveling, I store my sunglasses inside the shoe-shine mitt, fold the end closed, and then place it in my glasses case.

— Dan Coviello
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Love researching your destination online, but don't know how to organize all those printouts, maps, guidebooks, and tips? I get a 5 x 7" spiral notebook (Mead makes one with a sturdy cover and a pocket insert), a set of index tabs, and some glue. Divide the notebook into sections with the tabs (sights, maps, currency converter, restaurants, etc.). Photocopy—in reduction mode—all the info you want to bring, and glue it into the appropriate section. I leave plenty of pages for my journals. This creates an all-in-one personal guide that you can read again years after your trip!

— Michele Graves
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Need a place for a laptop in your hotel room? Take the largest drawer from the bureau and put it upside down on the bed with the drawer front away from you. This creates a perfect-height desk for while you're sitting comfortably on the bed (you can even lean back on pillows), plus there's side space for papers, and the top leans toward you for easy typing or writing.

— Linda Diebold Johnson
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If you're traveling with someone, discuss a central meeting place in case you get separated. My husband and I were in Paris waiting to board the Metro. He was able to board the train, but I was left behind on the platform. Having a plan saved both time and needless anxiety.

— Marian Moss
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If you plan to leave a gratuity for hotel staff, follow our friend Phil's good advice: Give it at the beginning of your vacation, not at the end. He introduces himself to the housekeepers early in the trip and hands them a nice tip. Guess who always has plenty of coffee and fresh towels?

— Lou Stover
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I enjoy off-peak travel best--rates are cheaper, lines are shorter--but the weather can be iffy. To combat Mother Nature's unpredictability, I always pack a roll or two of black-and-white film. While dreary-day color photos bring only consoling remarks from friends, black-and-white film tends to lend a mystique to gray landscapes and creates some very dramatic Ansel Adams--esque shots.

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Pick just two colors to mix and match throughout your trip. You'll cut down on luggage, not least because you won't have to bring a bunch of shoes to match a wide assortment of colors.

— Lori Fields
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Give your children a coach's whistle in case they get lost; put it on a ribbon so they can wear it around their neck. The piercing sound may be annoying, but you'll definitely find them quicker!

— Chandra Huang
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If you wait to buy a discount-granting Entertainment Book until around six months before it expires (expiration is usually scheduled for November), you can often buy a $20 to $47 book for as little as $10, plus $5 shipping. Online access to the coupons is sold for $7 a month. These are great for vacations out of town.

— Kitty Bennett
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If you start to feel a painful blister coming on, put some lip balm or Vaseline on the hot spot--it'll help stop the rubbing.

— Donna Benesch
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The help of a concierge at an expensive hotel is available even if you're staying at a motel across the street. Go to the concierge with $5 (or whatever the assistance is worth to you) held discreetly but visibly in your hand. Chances are you won't be asked whether you're staying at the hotel. This worked for us once when we were stranded by a blizzard. We tried to rebook our flights on our own, but phones at the airlines were busy for two days straight. The concierge at a fancy hotel a few blocks away got through on his first try and managed to rearrange our flights for us.

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Use an empty M&M's Minis tube to carry quarters. The top holds tightly, but still pops open easily enough, and the size is perfect to slip into a car door or bag. I find it very useful when traveling by car (for tolls and parking meters) and by airplane (for luggage carts or newspapers).

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While traveling abroad, I've frequently encountered some appallingly bad (and often very funny) English translations of menus. In those cases, I simply offered to clean up the translations in exchange for a meal. This has worked quite a few times.

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If you're traveling solo and want some company for dinner, try the sushi bar at a Japanese restaurant. It's a great place to meet locals. Plus, you'll receive extra attention and special recommendations from the chef.

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Shout Wipes take up very little space in your purse or backpack and are invaluable for treating stains. While traveling on an airplane, I gave one to a most grateful Italian after he spilled wine on his tie. Our friendship extended through customs, and we're now e-mail pals. Great stuff!

— Marilyn Rogers
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Some international airlines still give passengers a goody bag that includes a toothbrush, an eye mask, and socks for the flight. Keep those socks: They're handy when visiting temples in Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia, where you must remove your shoes before entering. I slipped on the socks and my feet stayed both clean and warm!

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Destinationcoupons.com supplies free discount coupons for cities all over the United States and the world. Print them out on your home computer and save on hotels, shows, rental cars, restaurants, and many other activities.

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It's often cheaper to buy a ticket to London and then fly onward within Europe via a regional low cost airline. Last summer, my husband and I bought consolidator tickets to London for $397. From there, we flew EasyJet to Nice for $72. The total cost was $469—much less than flying directly to Nice, plus we enjoyed a stopover in London.

— Jasmine Tata
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I always pack a Petzl Tikka Plus headlamp. It's small, weighs next to nothing, and is perfect for reading in bed at night without disturbing my husband. They're sold online and at outdoor-gear stores for about $33.

— Linda Smejkal
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I find that hotel bathrooms rarely have enough hangers and hooks for clothes and wet towels, so I always bring a few snap-lock suction hooks. (They function better than regular suction hooks because they're more secure and are therefore able to hold heavier items.) It's always nice to have a place to hang a bathrobe.

— Laura Tillman
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Treat yourself to a golf-ball foot massage. During a long flight, or afterward in your hotel room, take off your shoes, put a golf ball on the floor, and roll it under your foot. It's a great stress reliever. Practice a bit before you try it on a plane, so that your ball doesn't go rolling down the cabin, tripping up unsuspecting passengers.

— Dawn Yadlosky
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Everyone knows that duct tape is great for helping out in travel emergencies, but no one wants to lug around a bulky roll of the stuff. By wrapping a few feet onto a pencil or ballpoint pen, you'll get a miniature roll that does not take up much in the way of additional space.

— Randy Hartselle
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When my husband and I travel, we take at least three different credit cards. I carry one he doesn't have, he carries one I don't have, and we both bring our primary card. If one of us has our wallet stolen, we can cancel two cards and still have one to use. We each have different ATM cards, too--useful if a machine doesn't honor one of the cards, or if we need more cash than our daily limit allows.

— Joyce Morden
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Therm-a-Rest's Compressible Pillow is perfect for the plane. It comes in three sizes, packs smaller and expands bigger than any other pillow, and is machine washable. Whenever I pull mine out of my carry-on, I get jealous stares: People always ask where they can get one. REI sells the pillows for $18 to $25, depending on the size (rei.com).

— Sheila Lauber

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