ROAD TRIP

Wisconsin: Of Farmers and Dells

This is the great American Midwest with a bracing dash of weird: Where else will you find an albino muskrat, world-class waterslides, and a truly foul cheese?

DAY 1
In eight years of annual road trips, my friend Shawnda and I have never seen anything like the Garbage Plate at Franks Diner in Kenosha. We're at the counter, watching in horror as the cook fills plates with a heaping mishmash of eggs, ham, hash browns, and more. It looks like someone stepped on Paul Bunyan's omelet."

What's up, chicken butt?" asks our waiter. "Ready to order?" Franks is proudly sassy, and we're immediately dubbed the Magellans because we had to call twice from the road for directions. It's the kind of place where everyone feels at home. When we slap down money for the check, the patron next to us gets our change from the register.

Taking a tip from Jerome Pohlen's Oddball Wisconsin, a 2001 book that proves indispensable (if a little out of date), we meander over to Burlington. In 1929, two reporters made up a story about a lie-off between the fire and police departments. The following year, the Burlington Liars' Club contest was held for real. Plaques downtown honor the winning lies, such as one from someone in 1976 who saw a worm "steal the fur coat off a caterpillar" during a cold spell.

The sandwiches at The Elegant Farmer in Mukwonago are blah, but the apple pie is the best we've ever had. We ponder buying a tub of frozen cherries, then think better of it.

Desperate to do something besides eat, we drive north to the Horicon Marsh State Wildlife Area. It's the largest freshwater cattail marsh in the U.S., as well as (according to the website) a Wetland of International Importance and a Globally Important Bird Area. Unfortunately, it's also a National Mosquito Refuge—the insects are biting us right through our clothes—and we have no choice but to abort our walk.

At the Fountain Prairie Inn & Farms, an 1899 Victorian farmhouse in Fall River lovingly restored by John and Dorothy Priske, we take the two smaller rooms (of five total) and share a bathroom down the hall. The inn is airy and nice, not fusty and crammed with knickknacks like many B&Bs are. Dorothy is a sweetheart, and Shawnda develops a crush on Ace, the Priskes' manic English springer spaniel. We also get a kick out of watching the farm's Highland cattle in the pasture: They're magnificent creatures.

Dorothy directs us to James Street Dining Company in Columbus for dinner (it has since closed). My filet is delicious, and we both enjoy the pumpkin bread with spice butter. As we debate dessert, the waitress approaches. "I have to ask," she says. "Are you celebrating anything?" We later daydream possible answers: our third marriage, a prison break, National Pickle Month....

Back at the inn, we finally get to meet Dorothy's husband, John, who is also super friendly. He's sorry that he won't see us tomorrow morning, but he has to get up before dawn because it's "butcher day." When the Priskes say that Fountain Prairie is a working farm, they're not kidding.

Lodging

Fountain Prairie Inn & Farms W1901 State Rd. 16, Fall River, 866/883-4775, fountainprairie.com, from $99

Food

Franks Diner 508 58th St., Kenosha, 262/657-1017, franksdinerkenosha.com, half Garbage Plate $7

Elegant Farmer 1545 Main St., Mukwonago, 262/363-6770, elegantfarmer.com, pie $2

Activities

Horicon Marsh State Wildlife Area N7728 Hwy. 28, Horicon, 920/387-7860, dnr.state.wi.us/org/land/wildlife/wildlife_areas/horicon

DAY 2
I wake up early and take many photos of the fog blanketing the pastures. Ace and I chill in the gazebo for 10 minutes, and then I return upstairs, where Dorothy has left a tray of coffee. She serves us breakfast in the dining room, and explains that most of the ingredients are from the area. The apple cider tastes more like apples than apples do.

Dorothy asks if she may join us for coffee, and we grill her about the restoration and what it's like to own a B&B. The Priskes have yet to start on the third floor; it turns out there's a ballroom upstairs. They clearly believe in the importance of farm life and local, sustainable food, as do Shawnda and I, so we're kind of embarrassed to tell her we're headed to kitschy Wisconsin Dells.

But first (kudos again to Oddball Wisconsin) we check out the "Aliens and Oddities" exhibit at the MacKenzie Environmental Education Center. Inside what looks like a serial killer's shed is the field trippers' reward for putting up with the educational stuff: a hermaphroditic deer's one-antlered skull, an albino muskrat, and a two-headed piglet in a jar filled with formaldehyde. (Apparently, some kids once stole the jar so they could dip their cigarettes in the liquid and smoke them.)

WISCONSIN'S WINDING WAYS

Note:This story was accurate when it was published. Please be sure to confirm all rates and details directly with the companies in question before planning your trip.
 
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Flight attendants often work vampire hours and have to sleep during the day. How do we keep the sunlight from leaking into our hotel rooms? We clip a skirt hanger (or two) to the middle of the drapes to seal them together.

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It's often cheaper to buy a ticket to London and then fly onward within Europe via a regional low cost airline. Last summer, my husband and I bought consolidator tickets to London for $397. From there, we flew EasyJet to Nice for $72. The total cost was $469—much less than flying directly to Nice, plus we enjoyed a stopover in London.

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I was heading to the hotel ice machine when I noticed that our ice bucket was looking very tired and missing its disposable plastic liner. My solution: the shower cap that we never use anyway. In fact, it actually worked better than the liner bag because the elastic band held it in place around the top of the bucket.

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When traveling with my kids, I bring a Ziploc bag that includes four things: Benadryl, children's ibuprofen, one of those little medicine cups, and a thermometer. This all-purpose kit will help with minor ailments, or treat a more serious flu until you can get to a doctor. Best of all, it saves Dad from driving around at 2 a.m. looking for an all-night pharmacy.

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You won't always save by bringing the rental car back early. Alamo has an early-return policy at all of its locations, designed to discourage customers from returning cars early. If you show up at the lot a day or two ahead of schedule, Alamo will recalculate what you owe them at the daily rate; if it turns out to be less than what you would have paid for the week, they'll charge a $15 fee. Yet another reason to read the fine print on your contract carefully!

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For overnight flights, pack a few Oral B Brush-Ups in your carry-on. Before the plane lands, you can "brush" your teeth, leaving you refreshed and ready for the day!

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Before booking your next ski trip or reserving a table for dinner, find out what your credit card company has to offer. American Express sometimes has discounts on lift tickets; MasterCard has offered buy-one-get-one-free at local restaurants; and Discover Card has access to deals to Universal Studios. Check out americanexpress.com/offerzone, mastercard.com (be sure to click on Promotions), and discovercard.com.

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It helps to have a calculator if you plan to do a lot of shopping in foreign markets. When you find something you like, hand the seller the calculator and ask him to enter his best price. It's easy to convert the response into dollars so you know what you're spending. If necessary, the calculator can be used to haggle, especially if you don't speak the language.

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When I'm planning a trip, I almost always call the hotel concierge before I arrive, and if my hotel doesn't have one, I call a hotel that does. Recently, I asked for advice on what to see since I only had four days in a new city. I told the concierge what I thought I should try to do, and she said I had too many things packed into four days. She gave me a list of hot spots to visit and places to avoid, and even recommended a florist to call on for fresh flowers. With her help, my trip was far more enjoyable than it would have been otherwise.

— Brian Berg
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Put a few plastic trash bags in the outer pockets of your suitcases and carry-ons. If you arrive at your destination and it's raining, you can cover your luggage with the bags while you make your way to your hotel. Just cut a slit for handles or straps.

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Priceline was a total pig in a poke for me, so I never used the web site, until I found out about biddingfortravel.com. This helpful Web site gives potential bidders an idea of prices that are being accepted (and declined) on priceline.com for particular dates and properties (or airfares or car rentals). I got the Hyatt Regency Miami for $35 per night because of this!

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Attach a few carabiners--the kind of clips rock climbers use--to the top of your wheeled suitcase. Purses, cameras, and shopping bags can be clipped to your suitcase, giving your hands and shoulders a rest while you're walking around the airport.

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If I plan to travel to several countries that use different currencies, I pack a few cloth change purses: U.S. dollars go into one, British pounds in another, euros in a third, etc. When I'm sightseeing, I carry only the money I need; the purses that I'm not using are locked away in the hotel safe. I avoid fumbling around in shops and mixing up coins that look alike. Plus,I always know exactly how much cash I have.

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With two of our last three car rentals, the local branch wanted documentation beyond the standard insurance card issued by our insurance company. In San Juan, we were delayed a half hour while the agent made phone calls to verify that our liability insurance was good in Puerto Rico. In Miami, if we hadn't provided proof that our insurance covered rental cars, we would've been charged a daily collision insurance fee. Fortunately, we knew ahead of time and took a copy of the pertinent section of our policy. Our credit card included car rental insurance, but proof of that coverage was also required.

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It's easy to lose track of time in a windowless interior cabin. Before going to sleep, tune into the ship's bridge-camera channel for real-time videos of the front (or bow) of the boat. The screen will act like a virtual porthole, and you'll rise and shine with the sunrise.

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Try getting a discount on your hotel room by offering to pay in cash. A hotel reservationist suggested this approach when I phoned to reserve at a hotel in London. I asked if the hotel could grant a discount based on my AARP or AAA membership, as many hotels do in the United States. Her response was that the only discount she was able to offer was 10 percent if I paid in cash.

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I agree that the anti-seasickness medication for cruises, Bonine, is excellent and effective; but there is a budget way to buy it. The primary ingredient in Bonine is meclizine (25 mg). While a package of eight Bonine tablets costs just over $4 at a drugstore, you can buy a bottle of 100 generic meclizine (25 mg) for about the same price. This is an over-the-counter (no prescription needed) item, but you usually have to ask for it at the pharmacy counter.

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My husband and I keep the stretchy slipper-socks that some airlines provide. (We've gotten them on Virgin Atlantic in economy class and on almost all airlines in business class.) They're great to use when packing shoes: Just slip each shoe into a sock, and you'll prevent clothes from getting marked up by the soles. As a bonus, you'll have slippers to wear when you're away from home. The socks are machine-washable and can last for many years.

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If you plan to travel to a less-developed country, pack an extra suitcase with hand-me-downs of all sizes. Housekeepers and other resort workers make so little money that the clothes are greatly appreciated. On your way home, you can use that empty suitcase for souvenirs.

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Carry the exact change for public transportation. In Venice, we were annoyed when a vaporetto (water taxi) ticket-taker refused to give us our change. Later, we discovered that if you don't have the exact fare, ticket agents make no promises about giving change.

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Use the shoeshine mitt often found in hotel bath- rooms to store your sunglasses. They fit nicely inside the pouch, and when you take them out, you have a soft material to clean them with. For extra protection while traveling, I store my sunglasses inside the shoe-shine mitt, fold the end closed, and then place it in my glasses case.

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Before you leave the United States, photocopy receipts for any expensive items you're taking with you. This way, you won't have to argue with customs on the way home about declaring items you didn't buy abroad. (I'm a photographer, and I always bring expensive cameras on vacations.)

— Derrick Du
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Booking condos last minute can yield incredible bargains, and there's a way to maximize savings while minimizing the risk that you won't find a room at all. ("Last minute" generally means a month or less before your stay; seven-day deals usually start on a Saturday.) Buy your plane ticket and book a refundable hotel room you can use in case you can't find that bargain condo. Then, a month or so before your trip, start looking at last-minute sites—lastminutetravel.com, site59.com, etc. If you find a deal, simply get a refund on the hotel room and pay the cancellation fee, if there happens to be one. Using this technique, I found a great beachfront, one-bedroom condo on Maui—and I saved about $300.

— Joan Chyun
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I've discovered a wonderful way to enjoy massages at a fraction of the usual cost. Some massage-training schools provide superb service in a spa-type environment. Do a Google search to see if there are training programs near your next vacation destination.

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Download the most up-to-date airline schedules from the individual airline Web sites to your PDA before you leave home. Should you encounter a delay or cancellation at the airport, you'll have all the information needed to find another flight quickly.

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Create your own postcards by writing on the back of photographs that you've taken and developed while still on your trip.

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If you're headed to a country that requires a visa, ask the consulate of that country, in the United States, whether visas are also issued at the airport there on arrival. In many cases (like Turkey and Egypt), they are. Obtaining the visa on arrival is a much simpler procedure and a real money-saver: You do not have to have photographs taken (they figure your passport already has a photo), you do not pay a hefty fee to the U.S.-situated consulate of the country, you avoid the expense and risk of mailing your passport to that consulate in advance of departure, and you avoid the expense of using a visa-acquiring company in the United States. But be sure the consulate is correct that the visa can easily be obtained on arrival.

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Make a master list of jobs to do around the house before you leave (hold the mail, water the plants, take out the garbage). Keep the list on your computer, print it out, then check off each job as it gets done. You'll be able to go without worrying that you forgot to stop the newspaper.

— Glenda McMurray

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