TRUE STORIES

Travelers' Tales

From our October issue: Readers share anecdotes about monkeys behaving badly, a language mix-up in Italy, and the Taj Mahal of toilets.

Monkey see, monkey chew

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This month's winner is Laura Grayson of Columbus, Ind. Her prize is a six-night trip to Tuscany and Umbria, courtesy of Foreign Independent Tours.

On a cruise that stopped in Grand Turk, my boyfriend and I took a tour of Her Majesty's Prison. After walking through the place, we hit the gift shop, which was having an unusual sale. We liked these containers, but we didn't buy any. Because really—who needs an ass kicking, even if it is half off?

Monkey see, monkey chew
While on safari in Kenya, we stayed at the Kichwa Tembo camp on the edge of the Masai Mara Game Reserve. As our guide showed us our tent, he stressed that we had to keep the tent door closed or the monkeys would take everything. When the monkeys stole the sugar cubes for our morning tea, we thought it was cute—but when we saw one trying to eat a lightbulb, we knew our guide was serious! Jennifer Klein, Glendale, Calif.

To be fair, they look yummy
My wife, her sister, her sister's husband, and I went to Amsterdam and visited the red-light district. When my brother-in-law and I heard moans of delight, we weren't surprised, until we realized they came from our wives, lagging behind us as we walked past prostitutes in picture windows. We turned and found our wives peering through a window, their tongues hanging out. The source of their pleasure? A bakery display of waffles topped with chocolate, strawberries, bananas, and mounds of whipped cream. Robert N. Turner, Centennial, Colo.

When dinner bites back
While in Tunisia, we stopped at a small hotel for lunch. The menu was in French. My companion chided me for ordering poulet rôti, since I could eat chicken at home. He chose the cerveau d'agneau. "Agneau means 'lamb.' I love lamb," he said. His enthusiasm dimmed when his plate arrived. "This is really bony," he announced. He sawed until he freed a bit of flesh. "Chewy," he said, as he ate it with difficulty. Then he hissed, "Teeth! Those are teeth!" It was true. The waiter, who hurried to our table to see what was amiss, snickered at the "gourmet" who'd just eaten the lips off a sheep's head while ignoring the brains¿baked to perfection and presented in their original container. I laughed so hard, I could barely finish my superb chicken. Jennie L. Brown, Bowling Green, Ky.

Toilet story No. 1
I was practicing my Italian at a coffee bar in Assisi. I'd seen my Italian friend Liana avoid a charge for water by asking for it from the faucet, so I did the same. The barman gave me a funny look, but I felt proud of myself as I watched him fill the glass at the sink. When I told Liana about it later, she burst out laughing. Instead of asking for water from the rubinetto, I'd asked for it from the gabinetto (toilet). Celia Orona, Lakeside, Calif.

Get back or we'll butter you!
My friend Sue and I went to St. Croix for a vacation and got rooms in a bungalow on the beach. One night we heard tapping on the sliding doors. We had no phone to call for help, so we searched the kitchen for weapons. Butter knives in hand, we approached the doors. Sue pulled the curtains—the tapping came from two gigantic crabs. What a relief! Antoinette Kish, Katonah, N.Y.

These kids have priorities
My husband and I took our teenage daughters on a three-week camping safari in Kenya and Tanzania. The campsites provided the bare necessities, and few had flush toilets. This worried our daughters, but we all got used to it. We enjoyed seeing exotic animals in their natural habitat. At Serengeti National Park, our daughters came running up to us. "Mom! Dad! Guess what they have here!" They were so excited, we assumed it must be a very rare creature. "Flush toilets! Clean porcelain potties!" Talk about an appreciation of the "wild life!" Glenda Durano, Albuquerque, N.M.

Note:This story was accurate when it was published. Please be sure to confirm all rates and details directly with the companies in question before planning your trip.
 
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Travel Tips

Tagged
Cruises
376303

Make your cabin homier by packing a small collapsible vase and a bouquet of flowers.

— Martha and Ken Wiseman
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Cruises
459597

Internet phone services like Vonage can be programmed to send transcribed voice mails to your email in-box. That way, you can check your home answering machine quickly at an Internet cafe without paying insane roaming fees on your cell. The transcriptions won't always be perfect, but you'll get the gist.

— Martha and Ken Wiseman
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Air Travel
377262

Ask your flight attendants for dining, lodging, shopping, and sightseeing advice. Most crews have up to the minute information gleaned from layovers, which they're more than happy to share with passengers. You can count on flight attendants to seek out budget treasures. I know—I've been married to one for more than 21 years!

— Fred Manget
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Packing
380251

I always pack several tea lights, a small vial of essential oils, and matches. Tea lights, when placed in a water glass for extra safety, banish stale or unpleasant smells in hotel rooms. The essential oils work wonders when a drop is placed on a warm lightbulb.

— Stephanie Hartselle
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Planning
378256

I teach a Tulane University seminar on independent European travel for first-timers. Until recently, I advocated Europe's great rail networks as the way to go. Now, with the plethora of budget airlines, I recommend a combination of the two. But it makes the planning stage—which I find almost as much fun as actually taking the trip—more involved. Thank goodness for whichbudget.com, a Web site that lists, by city, which budget airlines serve which cities. Then, to find links to all of Europe's state railway Web sites, visit railfaneurope.net. Each site generally features a travel planner and, almost invariably, an English-language option.

— Brian Hughes
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Technology
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Don't put your magnetic sunglass clip-ons in the same pocket as your mass transit fare cards or hotel key cards. I managed to erase both my subway pass and my hotel key on a recent trip.

— Jim Tichenor
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Technology
398268

Before my last long flight, I went to librivox.org and chose a bunch of books, short stories, and poems to download to my iPod--for free. The site has both adult and children's books, and the list is growing. All of the titles are in the public domain, and they're read by volunteers, so there's no question of copyright infringement. Even if you don't own an iPod, you can download them to your computer and burn them onto a CD.

— Diane Bowman
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Cruises
395329

Bring a single-hole punch and lanyard on your next cruise. Once aboard, you can make a hole in your plastic key card and attach the lanyard, allowing you to carry the key around your neck. This is especially useful when your dress or slacks have no pockets. Just be sure to put the hole where it won't interfere with the card's magnetic strip.

— Sallie Clinard
Tagged
Hotels
424359

Finding the bathroom in the middle of the night in a strange hotel room or cruise-ship cabin can be a challenge. Leaving the bathroom light on seems wasteful and makes the room too bright for sleeping. My husband and I used to travel with a night-light, but we couldn't always find a convenient place to plug it in. We've recently discovered a better solution: plastic light sticks. They come in several glow-in-the- dark colors and are activated by bending the tube into a circle and connecting the ends. Each evening, we hook one of the loops over the bathroom-door handle, where it provides a gentle glow through the night.

— Carol Attar
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Packing
369285

Instead of bringing one of those bungee cables to hang-dry my delicates and socks, I pack a couple of mini plastic hangers--the ones that bras and panties come on when you buy them. They take up very little room in my luggage and can be thrown away at the end of the trip.

— Monica Pileggi
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Packing
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If you plan to visit a theme park, always bring a few sandwich-size Ziploc bags. They'll protect your cell phone and wallet when you're riding on flumes and other water attractions.

— Jack Bell
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Cruises
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If you get lost on a ship, remember that most share a common layout. The lido-deck buffet restaurant, for example, will almost always be in the back to accommodate comfortable outdoor seating in the least windy part of the ship, while the lounge/theater will be in the front because wind is not a factor (there are no windows).

— Martha and Ken Wiseman
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Packing
356268

Whenever my husband and I get new pairs of eyeglasses, we relegate the old ones to our luggage, along with an inexpensive repair kit from the drugstore. If something happens while we're away from home, we can hopefully fix the glasses ourselves. If they're beyond saving, we have the backup pairs to get us through the rest of the trip.

— Carol Alabaster
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Shopping
366263

When you're shopping for alcohol on any Caribbean island, ask if there's a Kmart nearby. Often the dis- counter is a short distance from the docks where the cruise ships tie up and has an extensive selection at prices lower than the liquor stores on the main drag. While you're there, pick up that extra roll of film or the sunscreen you forgot.

— Andrea Mansfield
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Loyalty Programs
381260

Using your frequent-flier miles, you might be able to visit two cities on one ticket. For example, my wife and I always trade in our Delta miles when we visit our daughters in Dallas and San Francisco. Because we have to fly through Dallas to get to San Francisco on Delta, we can stop over in Dallas for as long as we want before continuing on to San Francisco—and we use only one frequent-flier ticket each.

— Harry Bishop
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Museums
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If your travels take you to U.S. cities large enough to have museums, zoos, and/or botanical gardens, consider buying a membership in your home city's counterpart. Many have reciprocal privileges with institutions elsewhere. A membership at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo, for example, lets you see the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., and zoos in Los Angeles, Des Moines, and Jackson, Mississippi, at no charge.

— Alice M. Solovy
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Safety
442324

I agree that the anti-seasickness medication for cruises, Bonine, is excellent and effective; but there is a budget way to buy it. The primary ingredient in Bonine is meclizine (25 mg). While a package of eight Bonine tablets costs just over $4 at a drugstore, you can buy a bottle of 100 generic meclizine (25 mg) for about the same price. This is an over-the-counter (no prescription needed) item, but you usually have to ask for it at the pharmacy counter.

— Lila Held
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Packing
365256

Anyone traveling with multiple electronic devices (laptops, PDAs, cell phones, digital cameras, MP3 players) can easily confuse all the accessories that come with them. To keep all battery chargers, USB cables, media cards, and owner's manuals safe, dry, and organized, place them in individual Ziploc bags. You can put a label inside the bag to identify the contents, and one label wrapped around each cable to identify it.

— Alyse Liebowitz
Tagged
Loyalty Programs
341271

Preserve even the small number of frequent-flier miles you may obtain by making occasional use of a particular carrier; the miles can be worth money. Even if you don't regularly fly on Delta, Northwest, Continental, or several other airlines, sign up for their frequent-flier programs when you book a long or overseas flight. Points.com allows you to redeem miles for magazine subscriptions, music downloads, and other products. You can also use miles to get small discounts on purchases at retailers such as Amazon.com.

— Jonelle Niffenegger
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Packing
360256

I always pack a Petzl Tikka Plus headlamp. It's small, weighs next to nothing, and is perfect for reading in bed at night without disturbing my husband. They're sold online and at outdoor-gear stores for about $33.

— Linda Smejkal
Tagged
Hotels
427322

When I'm packing to leave a hotel room, I turn the bedding down to the foot of the bed so that the white sheets are facing up. This way, items placed on the bed are clearly visible. I once left a camera behind because I couldn't see it against a very dark bedspread.

— Fran Schaak
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Safety
438297

Our bags have been stolen twice from inside locked rental cars. Now we travel with a bicycle cable and lock. If we absolutely have to leave our suitcases in the car, I hook them together by the handles and attach the whole thing to the frame of a seat or a secure item in the trunk. Even if thieves manage to get into our car, the cable will make it very difficult for them to make off with the luggage.

— Karen McCarty
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Planning
380250

Before leaving for a vacation, I print out all our reservations and directions, and I create a contact sheet for emergencies. Then I gather all the papers together, punch some holes, and place them in a folder that has a middle section for three–holed papers. The side pockets hold brochures, business cards, ticket stubs, receipts, and maps that we collect along the way and want to bring home for our scrapbook.

— Sonal Gupte
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Technology
411318

Destinationcoupons.com supplies free discount coupons for cities all over the United States and the world. Print them out on your home computer and save on hotels, shows, rental cars, restaurants, and many other activities.

— Donald Bertolet
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Photography
376283

I always snap photographs of scenic highway markers, park entrance signs, and the like. These informational photos are put into our album to help identify the many sites that we visited.

— Betty L. Cox
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Planning
337271

I have the words "hotel" and "taxi" on my cell- phone speed dial. On a trip, I change the numbers, but leave the preprogrammed titles the same--instant access and no more little slips of paper everywhere.

— Isabel Burk
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Technology
383299

To find the perfect destination with airfare that meets your budget, try Travelocity's Dream Maps travel tool (travelocity.com). Select a maximum fare and a type of destination (city, national park, etc.) and the Web site will display a variety of trips matching that description.

— Matt Vance
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Photography
369271

Put an address label on your one-time-use camera. At a Final Four game in Indianapolis, we exchanged identical Kodak Fun Savers with another traveler so that we could take souvenir photos of each other with our respective cameras. But afterward, we couldn't tell whose camera was whose. Luckily, I remembered how many exposures remained on mine, so we got ours back. Next time, I'll just label it.

— Matthew Richard
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Packing
359275

Paper place mats can be useful anywhere there's an outdoor shower. By stepping onto a place mat after a bush shower in Botswana, I managed to keep my feet clean and avoided getting dirt in my clothes.

— Sandy S. Hogan
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Cruises
410317

If your tablecloth is wet at dinner, you should prepare for rough seas. Restaurant staffers have been known to slightly dampen the tablecloth to keep plates and glasses from sliding.

— Martha and Ken Wiseman

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