A STINGRAY BIT MY NIPPLE

On the Road With Mom or Dad

In honor of our new book, "A Stingray Bit My Nipple! True Stories from Real Travelers," we've compiled some our favorite anecdotes involving moms, dads, and kids.

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Good thing for you you're never going to age

It's called deep denial
I was on a flight to visit family, with my 2-year-old toddler and 7-week-old baby. Our first flight was a puddle jumper filled with businesspeople that got us from our rural town to Denver. I was nursing as discreetly as possible while trying to hand a toy to my toddler. The baby somehow got dislodged from feeding, and a stream of milk shot out of my breast. Unfortunately, the milk sprayed my neighbor's neck and shoulder, staining his shirt collar and suit. He never said a word. He just wiped his neck off and kept reading his reports. Jennifer Aguilar, Durango, Colo.

He was saving it for later
I took my kids, Daniel and Julia, to Walt Disney World when they were four and seven. They were most excited about the plane ride, their first. Before we took off, I gave Daniel a piece of gum and said, "Chew this. It'll help your ears." About 30 seconds later, I was surprised to see him attempting to put his chewed gum inside his ear. Jean Dehne, Whitefish Bay, Wis.

Open mouth, insert...foot
It had been a long and exhausting day at Epcot, and my husband and I were on the bus back to our hotel. Nearby, a young woman was holding a baby—the child was completely relaxed, arms and legs splayed. Smiling at the woman, my husband nodded at the child, and said, "I wish I could do that." There was an awkward silence, during which we realized that the mother was discreetly nursing. She burst out laughing, and we exited at the next stop—even though it wasn't ours. Sara Thompson, Statesville, N.C.

Good thing for you you're never going to age
To celebrate my 40th birthday and my mother's 70th, we went to England to see exactly where our ancestors lived. After a week of driving on the wrong side of the road, we were on the wrong side of each other's nerves. Then we got turned around on a roundabout and became lost somewhere in the Cotswolds. I spotted this sign and informed my mom that this was her stop. Tricia Du Four, Twin Peaks, Calif.

One for the mantel
It wasn't just the crabs in black bean sauce that made Chinatown in Portland, Ore., memorable. There was also this restaurant's sign. Between giggles, I took a picture of my husband, Sam, standing under it. Our daughters are too young to comprehend what we found so amusing. Whew! Claudia Fenner, Dix Hills, N.Y.

Some women just won't take a hint
When my wife and I went to Thailand for our 10th wedding anniversary, it took a lot of persuading to convince her to leave our 9-year-old son with his grandparents. Naturally, we missed our son, so toward the end, we decided to make a "treasure box" for him, filled with trinkets from the trip. At a 7-Eleven, I showed what I thought were Yu-Gi-Oh! cards to my wife (our son is obsessed with them). She burst out laughing and said, "I don't think our son is old enough for condoms." Byron Lee, Portola Valley, Calif.

Hand it to the folks on the other side of the curtain
My son and I traveled to St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands, when he was 4 years old. On each of our flights, we studied the pocket card to review the plane's safety features. We focused on the picture that read, do not throw anything down the toilet. I explained to my son why this was an important rule. Ten days later, on our way home, we again reviewed the safety card on each flight. On our final leg, my son went to the lavatory. Some time had passed when the flight attendant approached me with a horrified look. "He needs you!" she said. My son was behind her, holding up a wad of decidedly used toilet paper. "What am I supposed to do with this?" he asked. John Larson, Dorchester, Mass.

Buy the book on amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com.

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