Are You the Ugly American?

By Erin Richards
September 7, 2006
redesign_uglyamerican
Certain actions--whether stemming from ignorance or arrogance--will brand you a jerk. Experts pinpoint the 10 most common faux pas among travelers.

Find the local rhythm

Americans have a hard time adjusting to a pace of life that isn't as fast as their own, says Jacqueline Whitmore, author of Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work. As a result, they're sometimes labeled as rude and pushy. "In Germany, dinner can take three hours or more," says Whitmore. "It's an experience. You can offend the waitstaff by trying to speed up the process."

Make a good first impression

"In some cultures you hug, in others you shake hands, and in others you kiss," says Cindy Post Senning, a director at the Emily Post Institute. "It's easy to disrespect locals if you aren't familiar with how to greet them, both formally and casually."  

Avoid careless judgments

Travelers love to talk about how places are different from home. Unfortunately, says Senning, innocent observations can come across as superior and judgmental, as in: "Your cars are so small here!" or "I can't believe this restaurant doesn't have ice cubes."

Mind your table manners

Educating yourself about local customs is the only way to know that Chileans expect wine to be poured with the right hand, and that the Japanese frown upon sloshing soy sauce on rice. As for those times when you're served food you can't bear to look at, let alone eat, but you don't want to disrespect your host? Smile and eat as much as you can, says Colleen Rickenbacher, author of Be on Your Best Business Behavior.

Speak the language

You don't have to be fluent, or even close; you just have to make an effort. "It sends an offensive message when you don't even acknowledge 'good day' in the language," says David Solomons of CultureSmart!Consulting, which publishes country-by-country etiquette guides. "It's total and utter anathema to the French when an American starts a conversation without beginning it with bonjour."

Don't overtip

Monica Francois Marcel, of consulting firm Language & Culture Worldwide, says nobody tips as much as Americans (and that isn't always commendable). "It gets at the economics of a country," she says. "A taxi driver could easily interpret your tip as flaunting your wealth." Marcel recommends asking a concierge to explain local expectations, and then tipping the concierge the proper amount. Of course, undertipping is never a great idea, either.

Watch your gestures

The wrong move with your head, hand, or foot can be a surefire way to get on a local's nerves, or even pick a fight. "We also fail to do our homework about space relationships," says Roger E. Axtell, author of eight international etiquette guides, including Do's and Taboos Around the World. "Latin America and the Middle East have smaller personal 'bubbles,' so you must refrain from stepping away when they move close."

Dress respectfully

Classy everyday attire might have faded in the U.S., but it's always a good idea for tourists to look smart, says Whitmore. Conservative "global colors"--grays, blues, blacks--are generally safe bets. If you're going to a warm climate, avoid the temptation to pack only shorts and sandals. Include slacks and dress shoes, especially if you plan on dining at nice restaurants or visiting houses of worship.

Use clear English

Many people speak English as a second language, and it's hard for them to understand when tourists use slang and neglect to speak slowly. "We clutter our speech with jargon and sports and military terminology," says Axtell. "Try to stay away from idioms and slang, and watch for reactions to make sure communication is going well. Americans also forget to avoid phrases like, 'Hi, how are you?' in which we aren't really looking for an honest response."

Be a thoughtful guest

As in the U.S., if you're staying at someone's house or going over for dinner, bring flowers. Souvenirs from home--T-shirts, refrigerator magnets--are appreciated, too. Small gifts can smooth out everyday interactions. Marcel recalls the warm response when she handed out $1.50 bottles of Jim Beam to Russian officials checking passports on the trains. "It made the process a lot faster, and they looked out for me," she says. Gifts don't have to be expensive; as always, it's the thought that counts.

Plan Your Next Getaway
Keep reading

Do Your Homework Before a Semester Abroad

1. What's the program like? Who your fellow students are and what courses you sign up for have a big impact on your experience. "Island" programs, like the NYU Center in Prague, are populated by Americans. If you enroll at a foreign school like the Universidad Complutense in Madrid, meanwhile, your classmates will primarily be locals. "When I was a master's student, I took a third of my classes at the University of Florence, which gave me the opportunity to meet Italian students and professors," says Adam Gagliardo, assistant director of Study Abroad Admissions at New York University. "It introduced me to a side of Italian culture that I never would have seen in an exclusively American school." As for classes, students generally want to learn about the culture rather than simply fulfill a math requirement. To find out more about a particular program, ask for referrals of students who have recently participated. "With the advent of study-abroad blogs and message boards, it's easy to find out the attitude toward well-known programs," says Gagliardo. Also, U.S. News & World Report's study-abroad recommendations are available for free at usnews.com. 2. Where will I live? The choices include rooming with other students in dorms and a homestay with a family; the second option exposes you to how life is really lived in a country, but can isolate you from other kids. Or you could find your own apartment, where you'll be more integrated into city life; on the other hand, that might mean headaches like utility bills and nosy landlords. In a program called Semester at Sea, sponsored most recently by the University of Virginia, students stay on a cruise ship that drops anchor at 10 or so locations around the world. 3. How much will I have to study? Students enrolled directly in foreign universities often discover that grades aren't as inflated as at home. Conversely, if you're in a program run by an American university, chances are you won't have to bust your rear. "The professors abroad were more lax, and papers were graded a lot looser than in the States," says Jessica Horne, a recent University of Wisconsin graduate who went to Sydney with a Michigan State University program in 2004. In retrospect, Horne wishes she "had traveled more and worried less." 4. Will credits count toward my degree? Even if your college doesn't run its own study-abroad programs, it likely has partnerships with other universities in which credits automatically transfer. If you're thinking of going outside your school and its partners, get the program and the courses you plan on taking approved first. "Participating in a program that can't be used for your degree becomes a very expensive vacation," says Susan Thompson, director of International Programs at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. Many students save their electives so that they can sign up for whichever classes they like overseas. "I'd always planned to study abroad, so I was careful from freshman year in selecting classes that would apply toward my major," says Melanie LaVia, a Loyola College in Maryland graduate who studied in Florence with Syracuse University. 5. How much will it cost? Studying abroad isn't necessarily more expensive than an average semester on a U.S. campus. But look closely for what's not covered in program fees: Some include meals, lodging, and even books, while others come à la carte. Also, consider the cost of living at your destination. "I knew Europe would be way more expensive than the States, but I didn't know I'd blow through my entire bank account," says Robin Monheit, a University of Maryland grad who spent a semester in London in 2002. Your existing aid package may apply abroad, and it's smart to ask for assistance at your school's financial aid office. Also, scour iefa.org and fastweb.com for sources of financing. 6. Do I need a visa? It depends on the destination and the length of your stay. Each program should spell out the country's visa regulations, but it's ultimately your responsibility to comply. Go to travel.state.gov to double-check what's needed for entrance where you plan to study. 7. Will I fit in? How much of an effort do you plan to make? First, conduct some research. "Students don't ask enough about the customs of the country they'll be staying in," says NYU's Gagliardo. "They assume things in France or China will be the same as in America." He recommends seeing films and reading books about life in the locale. Still, no matter how much preparation you do, there will probably be an adjustment period. "The most important thing is not to close yourself off from your new reality, but to try to understand it," says Massimo Avuri, who teaches Italian at NYU's program in Florence. "Contact with the people and daily use of the language are of the highest importance." 8. How do I stay safe? Use good sense, as you would at home: Be alert, dress modestly, stay in groups, and know where to go for help. "There's almost always a 24-hour emergency phone number," says Melanie Andrich, associate director of Rutgers University Study Abroad. "When students are hurt, it's often because they made themselves vulnerable. They get inebriated and walk alone at night, or they're not careful with their wallet or laptop." If you're leaving town to explore for the weekend, tell someone where you'll be. Make sure your health insurance covers you abroad; some programs include basic coverage. Every program should provide a list of English-speaking doctors and dentists, as well as nearby hospitals. 9. Do I have to be fluent in the language? Not really. But when there, learn as much as you possibly can--you may never have an opportunity to immerse yourself again. "Studying shouldn't be excessive, but constant," says Avuri. "A language isn't learned in a day. Traveling and recreation will augment what's learned in school." 10. What should I pack? As little as possible, in a bag that's easy to carry--if only because most airlines charge extra for bags over 50 pounds. "The best way to pack is to imagine two weeks of crazy weather and different events," says Rutgers's Andrich. "Bring clothes you can mix and match, layer, and clean easily." Leave expensive jewelry at home. There's no need to stock up on toiletries unless you're picky about brands; everything you'll need will be available. Comfortable walking shoes are a must, and two nice outfits is plenty. Fill your carry-on with vital medications, copies of your passport, and a list of emergency contacts, bank and health insurance info, and your flight itinerary. E-mail the list to yourself and to someone at home, too. And don't forget to bring an open mind.

There's Something About Sydney: Balmain

The harborside neighborhood of Balmain has an enviable list of amenities--water views, stylish shops, a great flea market, cool cafés, plenty of Sydney's distinctive two-story houses--and a nickname to match. Residents call it the Insular Peninsula. "You can go for weeks without leaving," says Mylie Hagan, who lived in Balmain as a teenager and moved back a few years ago. That's exactly why hip young families are flocking to the once working-class suburb, turning it into Sydney's version of Brooklyn's Park Slope or San Francisco's Noe Valley. "The stereotype about Balmain is that it's full of yuppie couples, each with a dog and a pram," says Hagan. "The husband is in design and the wife is in media." Hagan is joking at her own expense. She's in public relations, her husband is an architect, and they have a labradoodle and a toddler. Balmain is a 10-minute ferry ride from Circular Quay. Ferries land at the Balmain East Wharf, at the foot of Darling Street. The area is considered East Balmain and is still fairly residential; restaurants have just begun moving in. Sojourn, serving European-inspired fare that's on a par with far fancier establishments downtown, is a few steps up the hill. "We wanted to make refined cooking affordable, so people can come once a month, instead of once a year," says chef Paul Camilleri, who co-owns the restaurant with his wife, Kim (she's the pastry chef and hostess). Cute, bright Tisu also knows how to please the locals. The staffers squeeze fresh juice, make a solid espresso, and put out puzzle books for all the toddlers. Each Saturday, an eclectic array of vendors display their wares in the yard of St. Andrew's Church at the Balmain Market. Cheery haggling takes place over surprisingly chic jewelry, hippie clothing, piles of Uggs, and all-purpose cleaning fluid. The most crowded booths are the ones selling baby onesies with cute sayings like I DO ALL MY OWN STUNTS. When they're done picking up duds for the kids, the "yummy mummies," as they're known locally, might wander over to DuckeggBlue, a whitewashed boutique that carries Aussie labels such as Lee Matthews and Cohen et Sabine. Dads will find more to their liking at Alfie's Little Brother Carter. The store stocks both men's and women's street wear by popular local designers, cool sneakers, and plenty of the ankle-hugging skinny jeans that Sydneysiders favor. A sign painted above the register says MY NAME IS FREDDY, YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING. Sure enough, store manager Freddy Unterfenger, a German expat, is as approachable as advertised. Freddy isn't Balmain's only European import. At her boulangerie, Victoire, Myriam Cordellier-Wever dispenses Provençal travel advice along with delectable baguettes and pastries. The Continental vibe continues at Bertoni Casalinga, a deli and café founded by two Italian brothers, who alternately greet guests with "Ciao!" and "Cheers!" while their mamma cooks pastas, pizzas, and soups in back. The communal table is packed elbow-to-elbow, and everything is served on disposable plates. As a woman dips into a bowl of free candies sitting by the register, the barista looks up. "Have you been good?" he asks. "Because those candies are only for bad girls!" He laughs, sending her off with a friendly "ciao." Food   Sojourn 79 Darling St., 011-61/2-9555-9764, assiette of pork $21, lunch Fridays only   Victoire 285 Darling St., 011-61/ 2-9818-5529, apple tart $5   Bertoni Casalinga 281 Darling St., 011-61/ 2-9818-5845, pizza $4   Tisu 61 Darling St., 011-61/ 2-9810-2790 Shopping   DuckeggBlue 246 Darling St., 011-61/ 2-9810-8855   Alfie's Little Brother Carter 348 Darling St., 011-61/ 2-9555-5222   Balmain Market 223 Darling St., 011-61/2-9555-1791   Nightlife London Hotel 234 Darling St., 011-61/ 2-9555-1377

There's Something About Sydney: Surry Hills

The pretty, tree-lined streets of Surry Hills, a 10-minute bus ride from the CBD, used to be a sketchy place, where vandalism and burglary were regular occurrences. "When we moved in 10 years ago, the neighborhood was quite rough," says Bryan Fitzgerald, co-owner of Chee Soon & Fitzgerald, a compact shop stuffed with bright pillows and mod housewares. "Our windows got smashed all the time." These days, it's Sydneysiders who are getting smashed, over nine-course tasting menus. That's because Surry Hills has become the epicenter of Sydney's food scene. "It's the most interesting spot in town," says Nick Hildebrandt, co-owner and sommelier of the six-month-old Bentley Restaurant & Bar, where the boisterous crowd enjoying forward-thinking cuisine (a raw oyster wrapped in grapefruit and served on pork crackling, for instance) typifies the area's unpretentious, high/low vibe. The intersection of Crown and Oxford Streets is noisy, but as you head south on Crown, the bus traffic is soon replaced by rustling leaves, closet-sized boutiques, and countless outdoor cafés. Two longtime Surry Hills landmarks sit two doors apart. At Billy Kwong, Kylie Kwong cooks light, modern Chinese fare; at Bills Surry Hills, style-setters break their no-carb rule for Bill Granger's legendary ricotta pancakes. Hot new restaurants have followed one after the other. As good as the Italian food is at Lo Studio, which opened at the end of 2005, the setting is the big draw. The 1940s art deco building used to be the Australian offices of Paramount Pictures. Bird Cow Fish, which recently relocated from Balmain, serves everything in its name (and more), including crispy-skinned chicken confit and an impressive cheese selection, in a dark-wood room with a long communal table. Around the corner is what might be Sydney's finest coffee--fighting words in this city. Numero Uno Coffee, a bean roaster and barista-training company, runs a one-table espresso bar out of its business office, which used to be a garage. "I went to New York and I was just shocked," says co-owner Gina DiBrita. "The coffee there is crap." Or sip a "flat white"--the Aussie take on cappuccino, which subtracts the foam--at Coffee, Tea or Me?, a snug café with great sandwiches and fashion ambition: The tip jar is labeled MANOLO BLAHNIKS FUND. Surry Hills has become a shopping destination as well. Sydney designer Fiona Buckingham sells her own line of clothing--imagine Eileen Fisher after a long holiday in the Far East--at Kyotap. The name is an acronym for Keeping Yourself Open to All Possibilities. "I know it sounds daft," she says, laughing. "But it's supposed to be inspiring." And the two-level hipster department store Orson & Blake stocks quirky street fashion, art books, and furniture all under one roof--with a café, of course. After all the Eames-inspired chairs, the dusty, cluttered atmosphere of Davidmetnicole comes as a relief. David met Nicole, in case anyone was wondering, while they were each working at vintage stores in London's Portobello Road; he's British, she's Australian. They moved Down Under and opened a shop selling their cleverly curated Anglocentric oddities: vintage matches, old lightbulbs, leather chairs, and pre-worn clothing, all artfully arranged as if it's not arranged at all. The shop is constantly being visited by stylists in search of stuff--animal heads, British military uniforms, and so on--for photo shoots. David, whose last name is Page, doesn't feel quite at home in Sydney yet. "Sometimes, it's like the vacuous side of California," he notes drily. But he's found a happy medium in Surry Hills. "There was a vibe about this area. Coming from London, we wanted a bit of edginess. And Surry Hills definitely has that." Food   Bentley 320 Crown St., 011-61/2-9332-2344, oysters $3   Billy Kwong 3/355 Crown St., 011-61/ 2-9332-3300, duck in orange sauce $32   Bills Surry Hills 359 Crown St., 011-61/2-9360-4762, pancakes $13   Lo Studio 53-55 Brisbane St., 011-61/ 2-9212-4118, slow-roasted goat $27   Bird Cow Fish 500 Crown St., 011-61/2-9380-4090, chicken confit $27   Numero Uno Coffee 63 Nickson St., 011-61/2-8399-0111   Coffee, Tea or Me? 536 Crown St., 011-61/2-9331-3452, sandwiches $5 Shopping   Chee Soon & Fitzgerald 387 Crown St., 011-61/2-9360-1031   Kyotap 21 Mary St., 011-61/2-9280-2737   Orson & Blake 483 Riley St., 011-61/2-8399-2525   Davidmetnicole 382 Cleveland St., 011-61/2-9698-7416