What Not to Pack

Hot Day, Cool Treat "It was fun to watch the staff at Aoki's make the brilliant, multicolored concoctions. Their raspberry shave ice with vanilla ice cream on the bottom is our favorite." Rock On "Visiting the ancient temple Pu'u O Mahuka Heiau made us feel connected to the Hawaiian people. The site is perched high above the shore, so you get amazing views of the coastline." A Night to Remember "Our evening at the Halekulani was perfect--the sunset, the rum drinks, the sound of the waves, the hula dancing, and the Hawaiian music. The band's bass guitarist asked a waiter to take a photo of us with him." One Big Garden "We didn't have to go to a botanical garden to see beautiful flora on Oahu--it was all around us. We saw this hibiscus at a park in Waikiki." A New Perspective "We both felt a deep, somber connection to the memorials at Pearl Harbor. This flag is attached to the USS Arizona Memorial. Never has an American flag looked so poignant." Peace Out "Ke Iki is such a serene retreat, exactly what we wanted after Waikiki. The grounds are luscious, and the ocean is just steps away. Even though the bungalows were full, we often had the beach all to ourselves. On our last night, I really got into taking pictures of the sunset."

ARGENTINA El Cortijo Rooms are decorated with regional artwork and named after elements of the hotel's northwestern location, like La Vid, "the grapevine." Homemade bread and marmalades are served for breakfast; small cups of mistela, a local liquor, at bedtime ensure a good night's sleep. Information: 011-54/3868-491034, elcortijohotel.com, from $76, with breakfast and tax. Art Hotel: $65 It may date to 1927, but Buenos Aires' Art Hotel is far from old-fashioned: There's a Jacuzzi in the roof garden and contemporary art in the gallery on the ground floor. The 35 rooms have hardwood floors, arched doorways, and canopy beds. Information: 011-54/11-4821-4744, arthotel.com.ar, from $65, with breakfast and tax. BARBADOS Sea-U Guest House After visiting Barbados for a writing assignment, German native Uschi Wetzels bought land in Bathsheba and built a seven-room hotel. Four are in a colonial-style house facing the sea; the others are in a whitewashed cottage decorated with rattan furniture. Information: 246/433-9450, seaubarbados.com, from $96, with breakfast. BRAZIL Pousada do Caju Hammocks on the seven-room inn's wraparound porch overlook palm trees. The ocean, 500 feet away, is visible from elevated bamboo platforms by the pool, where guests can enjoy a 45-minute massage for $30. Information: 011-55/82-3295-1103, pousadacaju.com, $92, with breakfast. Vila Kalango Having founded a successful kite-boarding store in São Paulo, Fabio De Maria needed a place to stay when kiteboarding. The first of his two pousadas on Brazil's northern coast is a collection of wooden bungalows and clay-brick apartments in the beach town of Jericoacoara. Information: 011-55/88-3669-2289, vilakalango.com.br, from $120, with breakfast. CANADA Les Bons Matins Harold Côté created a B&B from four adjacent town houses on a quiet street in downtown Montreal. The rooms have wooden floors and exposed-brick walls; flea market furniture and large funky paintings (made by Harold's brother, Benoît) add flair. Information: 800/588-5280, bonsmatins.com, from $122, with breakfast. The Woodshire Inn Inside this yellow clapboard Nova Scotian inn, pale walls and wood floors emphasize the building's high ceilings and large windows--and complement the handmade cedar canopy beds in each of the two rooms (six more will open in 2008). Information: 902/472-3300, thewoodshire.com, from $84, with breakfast. COSTA RICA Shawandha Lodge The bathroom walls in all 13 wood bungalows are covered in tile mosaics of Mayan warriors and jungle motifs. There's a hammock on every porch, and an open-air restaurant where howler monkeys provide the sound track at breakfast. Information: 011-506/750-0018, shawandhalodge.com, from $85, with breakfast. FRANCE Hôtel Chopin Hidden in a historic shopping arcade (a 19th-century glass-roofed alley lined with stores), Hôtel Chopin is a respite from the bustle of Paris. Rooms are painted in bright colors with matching floral curtains and bedspreads. The top floors have rooftop views of the 9th arrondissement. Information: 011-33/1-47-70-58-10, hotel-chopin.com, from $120, with tax. Villa Vauréal: $116 Each of the two rooms and three suites at this Biarritz inn is named and decorated after a type of fruit (cherry, plum, peach, mango, raspberry) and comes with its own kitchenette. Owner Christine Rannou Ader makes the apricot and peach-apple jams served at breakfast, which you may enjoy in your room or by the lime trees on the terrace. Information: 011-33/6-10-11-64-21, villavaureal.com, from $116. Hôtel Eldorado Hôtel Eldorado, in Paris's 17th arrondissement, radiates disheveled charm both inside and out; manager Anne Gratacos continually decorates the hotel with her flea market finds. Breakfast is served on the verdant backyard terrace or in the cozy ground-floor bistro. Information: 011-33/1-45-22-35-21, eldoradohotel.fr, $99, with tax. GREECE Anemomilos Apartments The Anemomilos is high on the cliffs of Folegandros Island; most of the 16 studio balconies face the Aegean Sea. Inside, muted-blue bedspreads and striped couches are softer versions of the intense hues outdoors. Information: 011-30/22860-41309, anemomilosapartments.com, $116, with tax. Karagiannopoulou Traditional Mansion When the Karagiannopoulou family turned an 18th-century home on the Pelion peninsula into a hotel, it kept the hand-painted ceilings in the six rooms and the stained-glass windows in the living room. Information: 011-30/24230-867-17, karagiannopoulou.com, from $109, with breakfast and tax. GUADELOUPE Auberge Les Petits Saints This nine-room creole-style cottage is on a hill on Terre-de-Haut island, off the southern coast of Guadeloupe. Bright colors abound: Walls are painted shades of pink, lavender, and green. Both the restaurant and the pool have stunning bay views. Information: 011-590/590-995-099, petitssaints.com, from $123, with breakfast. INDONESIA Desa Seni Desa Seni, or "art village," opened in 2006 after the owners dismantled 23 traditional houses from different Indonesian islands and reassembled them in Bali. Ten guesthouses now have air-conditioning and antique teak furniture. Fruit baskets are delivered daily; there are free yoga classes and a saltwater pool; and two beaches are a 10-minute walk away. Information: 011-62/361-844-6392, desaseni.com, from $150, with breakfast and transfers. ITALY Baglio Santacroce On a hillside near Erice, Sicily, with sweeping views of Mount Cofano and the Gulf of Cornino, the hotel has 62 rooms that are split between a renovated 17th-century farmhouse and a newer building with similar stonework. Rooms have Ericini rugs and wrought-iron bed frames. Information: 011-39/092-389-1111, bagliosantacroce.it, from $147, with breakfast and tax. The Beehive Opened in 1999 by Los Angeles transplants Steve Brenner and Linda Martinez, Rome's Beehive hotel has spacious rooms with beaded lamps and surfing-inspired prints on the walls. The hotel is nonsmoking, and the restaurant is vegetarian and organic. Information: 011-39/064-470-4553, the-beehive.com, from $82, with tax. Hotel Orientale Once the royal residence of Prince Alessandro Filangieri II, this 17th-century palace in Palermo, Sicily, has original hand-painted frescoes, a courtyard, a grand marble staircase, and 24 rooms, some with balconies. Information: 011-39/091-616-5727, albergoorientale.191.it, from $89, with breakfast and tax. MEXICO Azúcar: $120 Named after the sugar mills in Veracruz, Azúcar is a collection of 20 white bungalows--each with air-conditioning and TV in addition to a private terrace with a hammock--connected by a stone path. Chill out in a beach palapa, on pink cushions by the pool, or in the open-air library, lined with shelves of architecture, art, and design books. Information: 800/728-9098, mexicoboutiquehotels.com/azucar, from $120. Bahía de la Luna Bahía de la Luna's 11 thatched-roof cabanas edge a white-sand beach in Oaxaca State. Local carpenters built tree trunks into furniture; comals, or ceramic tortilla plates, are framed in bamboo and hung on walls. Information: 011-52/958-589-5020, bahiadelaluna.com, from $60, with breakfast and tax. Hotel Posada Carmina This 18th-century colonial home in San Miguel de Allende is now a 24-room hotel with wooden-beamed ceilings and a restaurant in the former stables. Some rooms face orange trees in the courtyard. Information: 011-52/415-152-88-88, posadacarmina.com, from $100, with breakfast and tax. La Zebra Beach Cantina y Cabañas Six miles from the Mayan ruins of Tulúm, La Zebra's nine thatched cabanas have beds draped in mosquito netting, handmade furniture, and Wi-Fi. The beachfront cantina serves pit-roasted pork and grilled snapper, and the bar stocks 50 types of tequila. Information: 011-52/998-112-3260, lazebra.com.mx, from $100, with breakfast and a bottle of tequila. MOROCCO Dar Sara Staff at this Marrakech riad, or traditional Moroccan house, greet guests with cups of freshly brewed mint tea. Orange trees fill the courtyard by the hammam; everything, even the glass-and-metal lanterns on the roof terrace, is handcrafted. All 12 rooms have private baths; a pool will open by year's end. Information: 011-212/24-42-64-63, marrakech-riads.net, from $86, with breakfast and tax. Irocha Ahmed Agouni and his French partner, Catherine Rophé, built their guesthouse--in the Atlas Mountains between Marrakech and Ouarzazate--with timber beams and earthen walls to blend in with nearby Berber villages. It's filled with rugs and lanterns found in souks. There's also a pool and a hammam. Information: 011-212/67-73-70-02, irocha.com, from $93, with breakfast, dinner, and tax. THE NETHERLANDS Hotel Bazar The Iranian owner, Akbar Tamiz, transformed a 27-room hotel in Rotterdam into a colorful homage to world cultures--and a restaurant serving North African cuisine. Each room is unique: Tamiz searched Dubai markets for Persian carpets and commissioned local artists to paint African motifs on the walls. Information: 011-31/10-206-5151, bazarrotterdam.nl, from $102, with breakfast and tax. Hotel Orlando Paul Lodder and his partner, Paul Westerman, transformed a 17th-century canal house in central Amsterdam into a five-room hotel filled with contemporary art and their personal antiques collection. Guests in 111, on the ground floor, look out on an 18th-century well with gleaming cherry-red tiles. Information: 011-31/20-638-6915, hotelorlando.nl, from $136, with breakfast and tax. NEW ZEALAND Amitee's on Ponsonby Father and son accountants Ian and Mark Stewart were just looking for new office space when they stumbled across a lovely seven-room inn for sale in Auckland's Ponsonby neighborhood--with a separate apartment, which now doubles as their office and a business center for guests. Information: 011-64/9-378-6325, amitees.com, from $128, with breakfast and tax. PERU Hostal Casa de Campo Alfredo Lozada Alfaro built chalet-like cottages, connected by terraces, stone steps, and gardens, on the slopes of San Blas with spectacular views over the rest of Cuzco. Some rooms come with a fireplace (one also has a kitchenette), but all are made with local materials, such as adobe, stone, and aguano masha wood. Information: 011-51/84-244404, hotelcasadecampo.com, $55, with breakfast and tax. PORTUGAL Casa da Moura Like the name, the decor is inspired by the Moors, who once occupied the Algarve. In fact, all the sconces, tiles, fabrics, and carved wooden furniture in the two studios and six apartments were imported from Morocco. The building, constructed in 1892 for a wealthy Lagos family, has a pool and a rooftop terrace that overlooks the Atlantic Ocean. Information: 011-351/282-770-730, casadamoura.com, from $82, with breakfast and tax. Monte do Papa-Léguas The eight-room inn, in a restored farmhouse and barn in southern Portugal, is comfortably rustic. BMX bikes and trail maps are included in the room rate--the better to explore the surrounding Costa Vicentina nature reserve. Information: 011-351/283-961-470, montedopapaleguas.com, from $102, with breakfast and tax. Naturarte Brothers Ruís and Luis Graça filled 13 rooms and apartments--which are spread out over cottages, two restored farmhouses, and a barn in two neighboring locations on the coast between Lisbon and the Algarve--with their grandparents' antiques and art created by relatives. Information: 011-351/913-619-939, naturarte.pt, from $123, with breakfast and tax. SAINT EUSTATIUS The Old Gin House Built from ballast bricks, The Old Gin House, in the Caribbean Netherlands Antilles, was once an 18th-century cotton factory. It's now an 18-room hotel with two restaurants; guests sleep in sleigh beds and sun themselves by the freshwater pool. Information: 011-599/318-2319, theoldginhouse.com, from $135, with breakfast. SOUTH AFRICA The Barrydale Philip Uys bought a 19th-century hotel near the Langeberg Mountains and furnished it with a jumble of modern pieces (including wooden cubes and rice-paper chandeliers) and kitschy touches (giant portraits of drag queens). Half of the 14 rooms have shared bathrooms, while the other "luxury" rooms come with private baths, breakfast, and a bottle of South African wine. Information: 011-27/28-572-1226, thebarrydale.co.za, budget $50, luxury $80, with tax. Southern Right Hotel During the 2003 renovation of this historic Western Cape hotel, the owners tore down the crumbling ballroom and built an ocean-view terrace in its place. The eight rooms benefit from high ceilings, large windows, original wood floors, and local artwork. Information: 011-27/21-782-0314, southernrighthotel.com, from $90, with breakfast and tax. SPAIN Callejón del Agua Trimmed with intricate wrought-iron grillwork, candelabras, sconces, and railings, Callejón del Agua's 16 spacious rooms are painted in bold red-striped designs; six have street-side balconies. For a look at La Giralda--Seville's iconic bell tower--climb the stairs to the hotel's roof deck. Information: 011-34/954-219-189, callejondelagua.es, from $82, with tax. Casa del Capitel Nazari Just a short walk from the Alhambra, Granada's Moorish fortress, the former Renaissance-era palace has 17 rooms (with wooden-beam ceilings, tile floors, and traditional Andalusian-style furniture) around a courtyard. Information: 011-34/958-21-52-60, hotelcasacapitel.com, from $116. The Town House The nine-room inn in the middle of Marbella combines the character of its 19th-century structure (marble floors, skylights, exposed-wooden-beam ceilings) with the light, airy aesthetic of its Swedish owner. There's also a rooftop terrace with views of La Concha mountain. Information: 011-34/952-90-17-91, townhouse.nu, from $150, with breakfast and tax. TANZANIA Zanzibar Coffeehouse Once the private home of a sultan's counselor, this seven-room hotel reflects Arab and Swahili styles with antique furniture and hardwood beds. Coffee beans from the hotel's farm in Tanzania are roasted and ground on-site. Information: 011-255/24-2239-319, riftvalley-zanzibar.com, from $75, with breakfast and tax. THAILAND Old Bangkok Inn The three shops that now make up the Old Bangkok Inn have been in the Tulyanond family for seven generations. In 2004, the shops were converted into a 10-room B&B decorated along floral themes: lotus, rose, orchid, lemongrass, jasmine, and rice. Information: 011-66/2629-1787, oldbangkokinn.com, from $99, with tax. Shanghai Inn: $87 Opened last year in Bangkok's Chinatown, the 55-room Shanghai Inn reflects the neighborhood's glamorous past. The decor--purple walls, pink orchids, and orange draperies--is bold; birdcages hang in bathrooms to make guests feel as if they're showering en plein air. Breakfast, with Chinese tea, is served in a ruby-red teahouse. Information: 011-66/2221-2121, shanghai-inn.com, from $87, with breakfast and tax. TURKEY Hotel Empress Zoe Empress Zoe is cobbled together from artifacts of previous ages; the barrel-vaulted passages off the lobby date to the Ottoman era, and the central garden's walls are ruins of a hammam built in 1483. The 24 rooms and suites are dressed in Turkish textiles and folk art; two roof terraces face the Sea of Marmara. Information: 011-90/212-518-25-04, emzoe.com, from $116, with breakfast and tax. Hotel Nomade: $116 Rooms at Istanbul's Hotel Nomade--decorated with hanging carpets made from antique rugs resewn into modern, abstract designs--feel spacious even if they aren't. The rooftop terrace, four flights up, boasts direct views of the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia--accompanied, in the morning, by an impressive Turkish breakfast. Information: 011-90/212-513-81-72, hotelnomade.com, from $116, with breakfast and tax. UNITED KINGDOM The Bull Hotel A roadside tavern since 1385, The Bull Hotel in Wrotham, Kent, plays up its country heritage with brick fireplaces, exposed oak beams, and hardwood floors--though its 11 rooms have been recently refurbished. The restaurant serves fish-and-chips and local brews, as a proper British pub should. Information: 011-44/1732-789-800, thebullhotel.com, from $141, with breakfast and tax. The Cawdor Arms As a 200-year-old Welsh coaching inn, the Cawdor still has its original flagstones, though its 25 rooms--with Egyptian cotton sheets, TVs, DVD players, and Internet access--don't resemble any of the nearby castles they're named after. Information: 011-44/1558-823-500, thecawdor.com, from $131, with breakfast and tax. UNITED STATES Casa Malibu A converted motel directly on the beach, Casa Malibu has more than its location going for it: The 19 rooms, some with whitewashed furniture, fireplaces, and exposed-wood ceilings, feel like cottages. (There are also two suites.) Guests can lounge on the private beach and take in the ocean from the shaded brick courtyard. Information: 800/831-0858, from $129, with breakfast and parking. Figueroa Hotel The furnishings of this downtown L.A. hotel are mostly Moroccan, though they also include Iraqi wall hangings, Indian curtains, Kurdish grain-sack pillows (used as chairs), and anything else that catches the eye of owner Uno Thimansson. The poolside terrace is one of L.A.'s best hotel bars. Information: 213/627-8971, figueroahotel.com, from $134. Juniper Lane Guest House Run by ebullient Juniper Maas, the five-room cedar-shingled guesthouse--and a cabin sleeping four more--is on Washington's San Juan Island. Rooms are decorated with art from Maas's travels; regional pieces hang in the common spaces. A shared kitchen is stocked with free fair-trade coffee and organic fruit in season. Information: 888/397-2597, juniperlaneguesthouse.com, from $65. The Tallman Hotel In addition to restoring this 1896 hotel in Upper Lake, Calif., owners Lynne and Bernie Butcher built four additional two-story garden cottages next door. All the garden rooms have a veranda or balcony; those on the ground floor also have an outdoor shower and teak soaking tub. Information: 707/275-2244, tallmanhotel.com, from $119, with breakfast. VIETNAM Life Wellness Resort Quy Nhon Before the resort opened in 2003, all that stood on this coastline was a fisherman or two. Now, besides solitude and fresh seafood, there are lounge chairs, yoga lessons, and a poolside bar. The 63 rooms have balconies and bathrooms with sea views. Information: 011-84/56-840-132, life-resorts.com, from $98, with breakfast. Mui Ne Sailing Club Surrounded by tropical gardens on the beach, the hotel's 29 rooms are colonial chic, with bamboo beds, red stone floors, and silk cushions. All come with air-conditioning and TVs; some have open-air bathrooms for a late night soak while stargazing. Information: 011-84/62-847-442, sailingclubvietnam.com, from $66, with breakfast and tax.

As of press time, Windjammer's future was still pretty uncertain. Keep an eye on our blog, This Just In, for updates--and be sure you read our story on what to do if a travel operator goes belly up. If you book the Grenadines trip, schedule early flights in and out of Grenada, and leave time to connect. (The boat returns to Grenada late Friday night.) Folks on our trip had to pay for charter flights to make the ship or to get home within a reasonable time frame. Not every Windjammer reservation agent is familiar with the layout of each of the company's ships. Talk to someone who knows the various cabins' quirks. Standard cabins on our six-night cruise started at $1,300 per person; we paid $1,700 each for a small, overheated Admiral Suite. That covered room and board, Bloody Marys in the morning, afternoon Swizzles, a glass of wine at dinner, and launches to and from various beaches. Snorkeling gear was $25 for the week. The extra tours and excursions ranged from $28 for the turtle tour to $85 for a half-day of scuba diving. Jammer regulars paid much less for cabins, having been offered half-price or two-for-one deals through Windjammer e-mail promotions. Be sure to sign up for CyberSailor at windjammer.com before you book: You may be sent a deal soon afterward. (A month after we returned from our cruise, I received a one-day-only sale notification: $499 per person for any cruise taken in the next two months.) Windjammer claims that seasickness is "seldom a problem," but this is scant consolation when you're the one bending over the railing. Get a prescription and/or anti-seasickness wristbands before you go. There's a heaping bowl of over-the-counter seasickness pills on the bar, but they made me fall asleep at 7:30 p.m. Then again, when the karaoke started, I really didn't mind. You'll have to find space for everything in your itty-bitty room, which is even more crowded with two bags of snorkeling gear and a wet beach towel in it. I packed three sundresses and a pair of hiking shoes I never wore. I wish I'd ditched them and packed a thin sheet or a large sarong to sit on at the beach.

"Do not ask me when we're going to get there!" bellowed Captain Julian. "This is the Caribbean! We live in la-la land 90 percent of the time! If there's food and booze, we don't give a damn!" A Windjammer cruise isn't for control freaks or prudes. You gotta expect a little chaos. That has always been the case--there's a reason for that "No Whiners" sign above the ship's bar. On our cruise, the chaos was consistent. Flights in and out of Grenada were delayed or cancelled and luggage was lost (none of which was Windjammer's fault), and airport pickups and drop-offs never materialized, causing last-minute scrambles for cabs (which was totally Windjammer's fault). Once we made it on board, we learned that the itineraries on the company's website are more like...possibilities. We visited just five of the seven ports of call listed for our St. Vincent and the Grenadines trip--Grenada, St. Vincent, Bequia, Union Island, and Mayreau. Just go with the flow, mon. And yet, we had way better flow than Windjammer passengers who sailed a month after we did. In August, passengers booked on three of the line's ships were stranded in Aruba, Costa Rica, and Panama. Crews reportedly hadn't been paid for months. (So that's why our crew nudged us to leave tips in cash.) Clearly there's a sea change of some kind ahead for Windjammer. The company was started in 1947 by Captain Mike Burke, who says he awoke from a bender to find himself the owner of the 19-foot boat on which he had passed out. (It was floating in the Bahamas. He'd begun drinking in Miami.) Burke christened it Hangover, using a half-empty bottle of Scotch, and soon began leading tours on it. Thus was born an empire. His children ran the company for years, amid stories of sibling squabbles, drug abuse, and accusations of embezzlement. But as of this writing, a group of investors has agreed to take a controlling interest in the company, perhaps ending the financial turmoil (and reimbursing those stranded passengers for their out-of-pocket expenses). One hopes any new owners can also retain the qualities that make Windjammer an affordable, attitudinal antidote to oversize, homogenous cruise ships. WHEN WE BOARDED the ship, my husband, Jonathan, and I were ready to party. We hadn't had a kid-free vacation since our older child was born almost six years ago, and Jonathan had just finished a round of cancer treatment. Bring on the rum! Like Windjammer's other three ships, the Yankee Clipper is a repurposed, reconditioned old sailing yacht small enough to slip into harbors that the big ships have to skip. Built in Germany in 1927, it was one of the few armor-plated private yachts in the world, and was later owned by the Vanderbilt family. It's ravishing, a 197-foot, 64-passenger vessel with teak and mahogany finishes, swooping carved railings, and brass accents. Yes, the deck could use refinishing and the masts are showing their age, but those flaws only give the ship character, like a glamorous old-time movie star. Windjammer's rabid fans agree. More than half the folks on our ship had sailed with the line before: Some were on their 14th Windjammer cruise. Several were starting their second week on the ship. Our 60 fellow passengers were a diverse crew--a cop, a high-school math teacher, a lounge singer, a travel agent, a radiologist, an equity analyst, a biker dude with a giant moustache, a young female soldier who ran a mobile military hospital in Iraq, a retired flight attendant, a farmer. We ranged in age from 16 to 70. There were a couple of families with teenagers. Officially, kids 6 and older are welcome on Windjammer cruises, but I wouldn't recommend the trips for kids younger than 15, unless they were weaned on rum. Though outnumbered, we newbies quickly picked up the lingo: Veterans are "Jammers," the captain's daily briefing is "story­time," and the rum drinks pounded every afternoon are "Swizzles." (They--as well as early morning Bloody Marys and wine at dinner--are included in the cost of the cruise. To buy other drinks, you use "doubloons," round punch cards you buy for $20.) Oh, and the Yankee Clipper is not a boat. "Can you stand in the middle and pee off the side?" Babu, one of the stewards, sputtered in outrage after I used the b-word. "If you can, it's a boat. If you can't, it's a ship!" I goofed again later, in front of Captain Julian. He clutched his heart in mock agony and wailed, "Calling my ship a boat is like telling a man that his penis is small!" Penis, penis, penis. There was so much below-the-belt sniggering that it often felt like we were cruising with the cast of Superbad. At the buffet lunch on our first afternoon, the centerpiece was a massive cucumber resting on two apples. At the towel-folding seminar one evening, we learned to make a giant towel penis. (Every day, the crew left adorable towel sculptures on our beds--butterflies, swans, elephants, and monkeys, all with Hershey's Kisses for eyes. There was no Hershey's Kiss in the penis.) And unlike storytime at home, the captain's spiels always ended with an off-color joke. Windjammer really wants passengers to have fun. In the evenings, there were group activities and contests, such as hermit-crab races, a "sexy scavenger hunt," and a battle of the sexes in which the guys were asked questions about shopping and the girls were quizzed about sports. But it was also perfectly fine to opt out, read, or just stare at the azure water. One afternoon, when we spotted a big cruise ship--a "foo foo ship," in Jammer-speak--the regulars started to vibrate with excitement. Crew members raced to the deck with a giant pirate flag and ran it up the mast. The sound system blared "The Ride of the Valkyries." A deckhand affixed a small brass cannon to the ship's railing, then loaded it with gunpowder shells. There was a deafening boom and a huge puff of smoke. "Reload!" yelled Captain Julian. Boom! Boom! Boom! "Give us your women or we'll keep firing!" (Blanks, but still.) Several Jammers leaned over the side and mooned the cruise ship. The mandatory costume party--"no costume, no dinner"--tested our creativity. The theme was Pirates, Pimps, Prostitutes, Black Tie, Lingerie, Toga. You had to pick one, or dress as something that started with a P, B, L, or T. I wrapped a towel around my head, stuck two Hershey's Kisses on it, and went as a towel sculpture; Jonathan sighed and put on my bra. The well-prepared Jammers really did it up, in elaborate pirate gear. Some of our fellow virgins, though less prepared, came through with shining creativity. A woman whose luggage never materialized during the cruise wore a Windjammer T-shirt she had bought on the ship with a pillow stuffed under it and a piece of paper pinned to her front saying "Didn't, Wouldn't, Shouldn't." She was a pregnant pirate with contractions. The 20-something Bud-drinking narcotics-squad cop rifled through his wife's lingerie and emerged from his cabin as a Playboy bunny. Whenever the tail fell off, he'd carefully and lovingly pin it back on to his rear. Later that night was the Miss Windjammer Contest, in which two guys compete in drag. One contestant, a med-school student, flitted across the deck in a blond wig, a minidress, pink nail polish, and Hershey's Kisses for nipples. When asked why he should win, he simpered, "Love is one of the many things I spread throughout the islands!" Sometimes the goofy togetherness got to be a bit much, but we couldn't really retreat to our cabin. It was barely big enough for a bunk, a shower, and a few shelves. It was also a "hot room," as Jammers called it, meaning it was right next to a chimney from the engine room; the bathroom was probably 105 degrees. (Whenever I told a Jammer we were in Cabin 7, he'd start laughing.) Still, the cabin was air-conditioned, and the mattresses were firm and comfortable. Also on the plus side, the food was good, non-fancy, and plentiful. Jonathan and I fell hard for the addictive, spicy mango- and hot-pepper-based sauces--Kutchela, Calypso, Flambeau, and Hot Chow--available at every meal. And my very first Caribbean mango made me swoon. It was easy to peel, addictive to eat, juicy and complex and floral, and it tasted nothing like the ones at home. Babu, the steward, sweetly kept me a stash of mangoes, presenting them like bouquets throughout the trip. Not all the camaraderie on board involved Benny Hill¿like naughtiness. Whenever we'd set sail, everyone was invited to help hoist the sails while a bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" played on the ship's speakers. I'm from Rhode Island and grew up watching tall ships in Newport Harbor, but I had never been a passenger on one. I loved the cooperative effort of raising the sail--and the fact that it was the only work I did for a week. On a Windjammer cruise, the sails are usually augmented with the motor. This may annoy sailing purists, but it did not annoy me, because have I mentioned how I'm all about the not whining? Besides, unless there's a lot of wind, the ship needs the motor to reach the next island. One time, when we did sail with no motor, Captain Julian yelled, "I just saved Windjammer $500!" We generally "sailed" at night and spent days onshore. I sprang for four excursions and loved three. (I could've skipped the Jeep tour of St. Vincent, where our guide actually intoned: "There is a KFC. Over there is a bank. Over there is another bank. There are a lot of banks.") My favorite was the tour of Grenada, which included stops at a postcard-perfect waterfall and at a spice plantation. (Gre­nada, which produces about 20 percent of the world's nutmeg, is known as the Isle of Spice.) I felt like I got a sense of a real place, where real people lived. The van was swanky; our guide knew what he was talking about; the spice plantation was like something from the 18th century. Cocoa pods lay drying in the sun in giant wooden trays that slid out from under the old stone building like bureau drawers. An elderly woman named Delta showed us how to use nutmeg oil for topical pain relief. We learned that mace is actually the crumbly red skin of the nutmeg seed; that fresh bay leaves smell nothing like their dried cousins; that cinnamon sticks are rolled-up scrolls of tree bark. We peeked into the sweat house where cocoa seeds and pulp are left to ferment; we watched women silently husking nutmegs and tossing the seeds and skins into hollowed-out calabash shells; and we peered up a wooden ladder into an attic where the nutmegs were stored. The mingled scents of spices stayed with us all the way back to the ship. I also loved the excursion to Bequia's Old Hegg Turtle Sanctuary, where Orton "Brother" King, a 69-year-old retired fisherman and free diver, raises endangered baby hawksbill turtles. He keeps them for a few years, feeding them canned tuna and sardines, and then releases them into the wild. We got to watch him release his 841st turtle. That's when he discovers what gender his turtles are, he says. The females sniff around for a while so they'll imprint the setting in their tiny turtle brains and come back to spawn. The males make a beeline for the water. We watched, spellbound, as Brother King gently placed the turtle on the sand. It scurried straight into the surf. (It's a boy!) And sometimes we just lounged. The beach on Mayreau was dotted with fat-leafed palm trees, thatched huts, pink and purple bougain­villea, and darting butterflies and hummingbirds. Giant starfish sprinkled the soft, sandy ocean floor as if they were in a child's drawing. A short swim away was a small reef with Dr. Seuss-esque, finger-like pillar coral; fan and brain coral; and coral that resembled giant, empty tree stumps. As I snorkeled over the reef, I followed a gliding, otherworldly, black-and-blue batfish. It felt wonderful to be all alone, in motion, blissfully engulfed in silence. We found another quiet refuge on Bequia--dinner at a romantic restaurant followed by a long walk along the beach while everyone else was either on the Clipper or at a bar on the other side of the cove. Rumors are still swirling about the future of Windjammer. Will the new investment money materialize? Will the company retain its party-hearty, camping-on-the-high-seas atmosphere? It's a shame that real-world troubles have to intrude on the carefree Windjammer experience--which is all about pretending that there's no more urgent question than what to wear to the costume party. I've never felt as relaxed as the night a pod of dolphins, seven or eight of them, arced up alongside the ship, playing and leaping in the wake. Jonathan and I held hands and giggled like little kids. Later, when the Jimmy Buffett CD began playing for the umpteenth time, I caught a passenger rolling her eyes. She grinned at me and said, "If my biggest annoyances right now are too much Jimmy Buffett and getting sunscreen on my sunglasses, life ain't all that bad."