A drive-through bib, a travel bidet, and other outrageous but true products: Normally, we strive to bring you the best and most innovative tools for your journeys, but today we just wanted to have some fun.
A bib that puts you in the driver's seat
If your road trip is too fast-paced for sit-down dining, strap on a BeltzBib and don't think twice about dribbling drive-through delicacies all over your clothes. The bib—modeled here by BT staffer Nicholas DeRenzo—hooks over the shoulder, and any food that falls short of your mouth should wind up in a four-inch pouch that's waterproof and, we assume, ketchup- and mustard-proof, too. dans-products.com, $8.
When every drop counts
A full six feet wide, the tandem-like Dualbrella should adequately keep two people from getting wet while exploring a new city. Unfortunately, while the jumbo shield doubles your coverage from the rain, it also doubles your dorkiness as tourists. hammacher.com, $40.
A guilt-free way to let loose
If the person sitting next to you on a flight plops down a GasBGon "flatulence filter seat cushion," should you make a stink and ask to switch seats—or be thankful your gassy neighbor was considerate enough to come prepared? Tough call, especially if the cushion in question is the "Tush Down" model, covered in football-patterned fabric. The seat's carbon filter—designed to muffle the sound and absorb the smell of breaking wind—is supposed to be replaced every three to six months for most users...but more frequently for tailgaters who consume lots of beer. gasbgon.com, $25.
A sorta-portable hardware store
Versatility is the big selling point for Swiss Army tools, but this Giant Knife—which weighs two pounds, serves 141 functions, and costs a whopping $1,400—is ridiculous. And it's not only the price that's impractical. Just imagine the trauma of watching it get tossed into the confiscated bin at a TSA checkpoint. wengerna.com, $1,400.
Ooh la la: A travel bidet
If you're one of the eight or nine Americans who's accustomed to using a bidet at home, you'll definitely want to know about the battery-powered Renaissance Premium Travel Bidet, which enables you to wash up down below at hotels and restrooms that haven't yet embraced this European hygiene fixture. It comes with two nozzles, two AA batteries, and a sleek gray travel bag. sanicare.com, $40.
Sit back, relax, and slip on a Slanket
Not every flight has a blanket for every passenger and—come to think of it—no flights have blankets with sleeves. But fear not! A petite, travel-size Slanket conquers both of those conundrums and costs $8 less than the original Slanket, which is intended primarily for couch use. theslanket.com, $25.
Available in two-ounce bottles easily taken on the go, Rest Easy's all-natural pesticide kills bedbugs and bed mites. But we have to raise the issue: If you think you're going to need to use this on your vacation, perhaps you should be staying at a different hotel. resteasy4bedbugs.com, $6 for two 2-ounce bottles.
Bruised produce can be a bummer, but don't let that stop you from traveling with your favorite delicate fruit. The plastic BananaBunker—available in five colors and in one unmistakable shape—safeguards snacks from getting banged around in your bag. Flexible and extendable, it can accommodate all but the largest bananas. bananabunker.com, $7.