20 Best-Kept Secrets of San Juan, Puerto Rico

By Kathleen Squires
November 12, 2010
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Follow our insider tips to the hidden hotels, lively local watering holes, and one-of-a-kind experiences most of the city's visitors never discover.

Of the nearly 5 million tourists who pass through Puerto Rico's capital each year, only a fraction actually stray from the beaten path that connects the cruise-ship port with the city's swanky casinos and resorts. They have no idea what they're missing.

A low-key waterfront B&B
High-rise hotels far outnumber San Juan's small, family-run options—which might be what inspired the name of the Numero Uno Guest House, a 15-room inn in Ocean Park, five miles east of Old San Juan. The decor plays up the coastal location, with rattan furniture and unparalleled Atlantic views; and at the on-site 50-seat restaurant, Pamela's, creative seafood dishes like scallops in grapefruit-and-pink-peppercorn salsa are delivered to tables planted right on the beach. Calle Santa Ana 1, numero1guesthouse.com, rooms from $99, entrées from $25.

An iconic bank's secret stash
The 11-story art deco Banco Popular skyscraper has been a popular landmark in Old San Juan for 70 years, but few visitors know of the museum on its 3rd floor. The Sala de Exhibiciones Rafael Carrión Pacheco showcases island-centric exhibits, such as an exploration of area coffee plantations and a 38-foot scalemodel of the old city. Calle Tetuán 206, 787/722-7389, Tues.Sun. 10 a.m.5 p.m., free.

Umbrella drinks have some stiff competition
Move over, piña colada. These days, the top cocktail in town is the chichaíto (cheeh-chah-ee-toh), a traditional after-dinner concoction embraced by a new generation of bar-goers. At the Carnival-mask shop turned bar Los 3 Cuernos on Old San Juan's Plaza de Colón, the rum-and-anise mixture is spiked with fruit juices and served by the shot, by the half-pint, or paired with a six-pack of local Medalla beer. Calle San Francisco 403, shot $1.

A picturesque resting place
San Juan's most exclusive stretch of coastline isn't part of some fancy resort—it's the Cementerio Santa María Magdalena de Pazzis, a nearly 200-year-old burial ground tucked between the ruins of the El Morro fortress and the Atlantic Ocean. A peach-colored chapel stands among hundreds of elaborate tombs, which inter prominent islanders such as singer Gilberto Monroig and actor (and uncle of George Clooney) José Ferrer. Calle Norzagaray, 787/723-3852, Mon.Fri. 7 a.m.3 p.m., Sat.Sun. 8 a.m.noon.

The coffee of kings
Talk about a pick-me-up with a pedigree. Puerto Rican coffee was the favorite of 18th-century European courts, and even as modern brew trends come and go, the island's beans still rank near the top of connoisseurs' lists. Locals order it either black (expreso), with a touch of hot milk (cortadito), or mixed with plenty of steamed milk (con leche). One of the city's best coffee spots is Caficultura, a former Old San Juan residence decorated with chandeliers, marble-topped tables, and heavy wooden doors propped open for easy people-watching on the Plaza de Colón. Calle San Francisco 401, 787/723-7731, coffee from $2.50.

Spanglish was invented here
A singsong, rapid-fire cadence and a tendency to blend English with Spanish set the Puerto Rican tongue apart. Even first-timers may recognize some words: The structure that houses the bank? It's a bildin (bil-deen), and probably not where you'd goof around, or gufear (goo-feh-ar).

The best seats in baseball
While Hall of Famers no longer polish their off-season skills in Puerto Rico's Winter League, there's still plenty to draw folks to Estadio Hiram Bithorn, where the Senadores de San Juan (San Juan Senators) play from October to January: namely, cheap tickets, spirited fans, and stadium fare that includes plantain chips and tropical drinks. FDR Blvd. and Rte. 18, ticketpop.com, tickets from $2.50.

Where the jukebox still reigns
Closet-size Café Celeste is often overshadowed by the famous Nuyorican Café across the street, but the scene inside this Old San Juan hole-in-the-wall is no less worthy. Along with a handful of other timeworn joints, it makes up "the jukebox walk," a circuit of laid-back bars where the vellonera—a jukebox filled with salsa and mambo, from Tito Puente to Bobby Valentín—is the draw, and festive crowds of singing patrons are known to spill outside onto the cobblestones. Callejón de la Capilla 197, cocktails from $2.50.

Flavored ice, incognito
Sampling San Juan's most underground dessert feels like stepping into a spy movie: Visitors enter an unmarked apartment building, call to the proprietor through an iron gate in the lobby, and within minutes, Eddie shows up to tout the day's flavors—say, pineapple and tamarind. When he returns with the limber, a flavored-ice treat that's the love child of shaved ice and sorbet, it's delivered in a plastic Dixie cup, straight from the freezer—the same way it has been for 40 years. Caleta de las Monjas 9, limber 75¢.

A bygone vacation village
The Condado district, four miles east of Old San Juan, is now synonymous with condo towers and trendy shops, but it began as a sleepy, turn-of-the-century beach community where the city's wealthiest families kept grand, Spanish-style second homes. A few of the historic buildings remain, to new purpose: One houses El Canario Inn (Avenida Ashford 1317, canariohotels.com/inn.htm, doubles from $90), and another is the restaurant Ajili Mojili, where travelers can taste traditional Puerto Rican dishes in an old-fashioned setting (Avenida Ashford 1006, 787/725-9195, entrées from $16).

A high-flying show
On weekends, while sightseers throng El Morro, the 16th-century citadel at the northwest tip of Old San Juan, residents take to the lawn in front of the fort to unfurl an impressive array of kites. The real spectacle is on Sundays, when families come from inland to launch their elaborate fliers, made from old fabrics and papier-mâché. El Morro, nps.gov/saju.

The island's not-so-secret sauce
Just as every Southern barbecue joint has its signature slather, every street-food stall worth its salt in Puerto Rico has its pique, a fiery homemade condiment with a vinegar-and-red-pepper base. You'll find it, often in repurposed rum bottles, on snack counters island-wide.

An all-day arts crawl for $1.50
Thanks to the new Tren Urbano rail system, anyone can embark on a DIY citywide arts tour. From the Sagrado Corazón terminus in Condado, it's one stop to an independent-film screening at the Popular Center's Fine Arts Café cinema (Torre Norte, 787/765-2339, tickets $9.50); five more stops to the Sala Teatro Beckett in Río Piedras, where plays and concerts are staged (Avenida Ponce de León 1008, 2nd Fl., salateatrobeckett-paca.blogspot.com); and then a short walk to the gallery and music venue Río Cantina Urbana (Avenida Ponce de León 1016, 787/282-6262). The cantina's pink-and-blue muraled façade fits right in with the area's graffiti-tagged cafés and old-school holdouts like Heladería Los Chinitos, an ice cream shop that's been going strong since 1964 (Avenida Ponce de León 1061, 787/765-3395).

The next big thing in bags...
It's easy to spot trend-savvy Puerto Ricans: They're often carrying Concalma totes, launched by designer and San Juan resident Matilsha Marxuach. The colorful, sturdy satchels, which come in stripes and floral patterns, are made by the women's collaborative Cooperativa Industrial Creación de La Montaña. Calle San Francisco 207, concalmalinea.com, totes from $25.

...And a great place to fill them
Attention, foodies: There's a worthy new reason to visit El Museo de San Juan, one of the Caribbean's top art museums. Every Saturday, vendors set up in the courtyard for the Mercado Agrícola Natural del Viejo San Juan, the old city's first organic farmers market. Shoppers can load up on tropical produce, local artisanal cheeses, and prepared foods like empanadas stuffed with hearts of palm. Calle Norzagaray 150, mercadoagricolanatural.com, Sat. 8 a.m.1 p.m.

A chic hotel with a dreamy view
It's ironic that one of the best hotels in San Juan is actually Moroccan-themed: At 2-year-old Hotel Casablanca in Old San Juan, mosaic tiling and colored lanterns ornament the lavish lobby, and the 35 guest rooms have hand-loomed tapestries and carved-wood furniture. Look out from the rooftop terrace, however—over rows of pastel storefronts and the baroque cathedral in the distance—and you'll see an unambiguously Spanish-colonial scene. Calle Fortaleza 316, hotelcasablancapr.com, rooms from $95.

The city's easiest day trip
A 20-minute drive east of Old San Juan lies Piñones, the best little getaway you've never heard of. There's a palm-lined boardwalk that links several sandy beaches, a handful of tidal pools where beachgoers can sit on flat rocks near the breaking waves, and a slew of huts selling pinchos (skewers of grilled meat and fish). The area is best explored on a bike: You can rent tandems and beach cruisers by the hour at the COPI building near the Boca de Cangrejos bridge. copipr.com, bike rentals $5 per hour.

A market that gets new life after dark
During the day, Plaza del Mercado in Santurce, about half a mile south of Condado, brims with plantains, avocados, mangoes, and folks cooling off with coco frío (coconut water). But after 6 p.m., when the market shuts down, the bars that line the plaza throw open their metal grates to a young, dressed-up crowd that turns the square into an informal block party, liveliest on Thursdays and Fridays. Calles Dos Hermanos and Capitol, 787/723-8022.

San Juan's design hero
Ask residents if they have a favorite homegrown designer; they'll likely answer, "Nono." By that they mean, "Yes." They're talking about Nono Maldonado, the Condado-based former Esquire magazine fashion editor whose pale-hued line defines island chic: linen resort wear and couture, with lofty prices to match. Avenida Ashford 1112, 787/721-0456, blouses from $150.

A slamming native dance
Salsa fans, meet your next obsession: bomba, created at the end of the 18th century by West African slaves on Puerto Rico's sugar plantations. In DanzActiva's Saturday classes, aspiring dancers can attempt to master the demanding steps, a kind of rhythmic call-and-response with a live band. Calles Norzagaray and Morovis, danzactiva.com, dance lesson $15.

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ANGUILLA Anacaona Boutique Hotel Effortlessly casual rooms within reach Anguilla is best known for jet-setters and exclusive resorts—and that's what makes the new Anacaona Boutique Hotel such a pleasant surprise. Created by Robin and Sue Ricketts (the pros behind the development of luxe properties like the $400-plus-a-night Cap Juluca), the Mediterranean-style resort is Anguilla as you want it: chic but attainable. The 27 rooms all come with balconies, the poolside restaurant specializes in traditional Anguillan food (large portions of grilled fish and goat), and the white sand of Meads Bay is only a four-minute walk north—before setting off, be sure to borrow some free snorkel gear at the front desk. 877/647-4736, anacaonahotel.com, from $150. ANTIGUA Siboney Beach Club Five-star service right on the beach This 108-square-mile island claims more than 300 beaches, and you can bet that Siboney Beach Club owner Tony Johnson knows just about all of them. Johnson arrived on Antigua more than 50 years ago and managed the construction of a handful of hotels before starting his own, a 13-room inn with an immaculately tended garden on Dickenson Bay. The design of the rooms is fairly basic, but Johnson's attention to detail will knock your socks off. He looks after guests like a doting uncle, often greeting visitors at check-in, sharing his favorite sights, and acting as de facto concierge, trip planner, and local guide all at once. 800/533-0234, siboneybeachclub.com, from $150. ARUBA Wreck of the Antilla A marine-life megaplex In 1940, the captain of the German freighter Antilla, a supply craft for Nazi U-boats, scuttled his ship off the coast of Aruba rather than surrender it to Dutch soldiers. Seventy years later, the wreck has evolved into a marine-life megaplex. Silversides, angelfish, and groupers swarm the steel carcass, its walls adorned with brain coral, tube sponges, and fan worms. Because the Antilla lounges in just 60 feet of water, portions of the vessel rise to within kissing distance of the surface. Red Sail Sports, the biggest outfit around, operates snorkel and dive trips by catamaran daily, except Sundays. 305/454-2538, redsailaruba.com, half-day trips from $45. GET THERE FAST Port Antonio, Jamaica Because no one should spend a vacation messing with connections. Over the past two years, Jamaica has seen a furious building spree, adding some 3,000 rooms to the island's inventory. In response, airlines are catching up; seven new direct flights were added this year, connecting Jamaica to more U.S. cities (16) than any other Caribbean island. Carriers have even made concessions for Western states: A new US Airways route from Phoenix means you can depart in the morning and be on the beach by sunset. While 76 percent of Jamaica's flights descend into the tourist hub of Montego Bay, nothing says you have to stay there. The northern coast is scattered with other resort areas, from Negril's mom-and-pop inns and colossal all-inclusives to the cruise port of Ocho Rios, best known for the postcard-perfect Dunn's River Falls. But for a real adventure, visitors should consider heading east to Port Antonio. The laid-back colonial-era town—sandwiched between quiet beaches like Winifred and Long Bay—recalls Jamaica before the tourist boom. There are plenty of places to stay, but Goblin Hill is a standout. The collection of one- and two-bedroom villas overlooks the gin-clear water of San San Bay, and each one comes with a personal gal Friday, who handles both the housekeeping and food shopping. Down the road in Boston Bay, you'll find the island's best jerk cooking—chicken, ribs, and fish bathed in fiery, Scotch-bonnet-pepper marinade and slow-grilled over pimento wood—doled out from makeshift huts. Finally, if you need a break from the coast, it's worth taking the one-hour drive to Moore Town in the Blue Mountains. The settlement is home to the Windward Maroons, a semiautonomous community founded by escaped slaves that offers a unique window into Jamaica's past. Goblin Hill, 800/472-1148, goblinhillvillas.com, from $135. BARBADOS Sea-U Guest House Crash pad for Caribbean surfers The rugged, wave-tossed Atlantic Coast of Barbados has spawned one of the coolest little surf scenes in all the Caribbean. And the Sea-U Guest House, in the village of Bathsheba, steps away from the water, sits right at its heart. The nine-room traditional Bajan inn, with a peaked roof, louvered windows, and a broad veranda, is as laid-back as its surroundings: Hammocks are strung up across the property, and sweet small touches like an honor bar out back preserve the vibe. German expat owner Uschi Wetzels serves a complimentary full breakfast of eggs, bacon, and freshly made banana and coconut breads each morning, and she's more than happy to connect guests with local surf instructors such as homegrown legend Melanie Pitcher. 246/433-9450, seaubarbados.com, from $119 including breakfast. BEQUIA Sugarapple Inn The splashiest $80 rooms around You could be forgiven for never having heard of Bequia (beck-way), a seven-square-mile outpost in the Grenadines, but spend a few days here and you'll never forget it. With sailboats bobbing in Port Elizabeth's pint-size harbor and pocket beaches in seemingly every cove, the island is all charm, and few hotels reflect that more than the Sugarapple Inn. Set on a hillside overlooking Friendship Bay, the inn has eight rooms splashed in bright colors like mango, lime, and papaya. Each unit has an open-air kitchen and sitting area, and guests have access to a pool, sundeck, and free local cell phone. One tip: All rooms are priced the same, but the ones on the upper level have higher ceilings and better views of the water below. 784/457-3148, sugarappleinn.com, from $80. DOMINICA Waitukubuli National Trail A walk on the Caribbean's wild side From its black-sand beaches to its boiling lake and 10 active volcanoes, Dominica (dom-in-eek-a) is a one-of-a-kind island—and there's no better way to get a taste for what makes it so special than by hiking the new Waitukubuli National Trail. In August, the first two segments of the 115-mile trans-island trail were completed. Running through World Heritage–listed rain forest, the two legs span seven and eight miles, respectively, from Wotton Waven to Pont Casse and on to Castle Bruce, and pass mountain villages, jungle-covered peaks, and two different waterfalls, Middleham Falls and Emerald Pool, along the way. Additional sections are slated to open throughout the year. 767/448-2045, download a free map and brochure at BudgetTravel.com/dominicapdf. JAMAICA Montego Bay Gondolas go tropical In 1950, Errol Flynn, the famed swashbuckler of the silver screen, relocated from Hollywood to Jamaica and started a tourism phenomenon: bamboo raft tours. For years, the simple crafts had been used to haul produce from the mountains to the coast, but it was Flynn who convinced boatmen to guide visitors instead. Today, the sturdy, 30-foot-long vessels have become the Jamaican equivalent of the Venetian gondola, complete with two-person love seats and photo ops galore. The Martha Brae River trips, lasting 90 minutes to three hours, start at put-ins just outside Montego Bay, wind past green mountains and traditional villages, and take in everything from vendors on the banks hawking snacks to kids performing somersaults into the water. 876/952-0889, visitjamaica.com, from $60. GET THERE FIRST Eleuthera, Bahamas Because here you can escape everything (except the long arm of the law). It's telling that Eleuthera's biggest news in years came from the capture of a man trying to fall off the map. Following the arrest of the Barefoot Bandit in July, the little-known Bahamian island anchored the 24-hour news cycle for about two days; then—as it always does—it slipped blessedly back off the radar. Unlike Nassau or Paradise Island, Eleuthera sees hundreds, not thousands, of visitors at a time, and they're spread across miles of pristine beaches and bays. The reasons for its isolation are complex—a series of boom and bust real-estate deals since the '50s, a few devastating storms—but the seclusion might not last much longer. New developments loom, and Florida's proximity (a mere 300 miles away) is a draw that travelers are likely to pick up on soon. Because the island is 112 miles long and incredibly thin—it claims to have the narrowest strip of permanent land on the planet—your best bet is to fly into Governor's Harbour, in Eleuthera's center, and fan out from there. Just south of the airport, the 4-year-old Pineapple Fields is an ideal base camp. The 32 one- and two-bedroom units are scattered among bougainvillea, avocado, and star-fruit trees. Two-mile French Leave Beach, one of the prettiest on the island, is just a half mile north, and on-site Tippy's Restaurant & Bar serves island favorites like conch fritters and lobster pizza. From the hotel, you can book half-day snorkeling trips–the dives at Current Cut will have you bobbing by gentle nurse sharks and spotted eagle rays—or world-class bonefishing excursions; local guide and fly-casting master Gersham Pinder will share his wealth of knowledge on the island's natural history, bush culture, and, of course, fishing spots. Pineapple Fields, 877/677-9539, pineapplefields.com, from $160; Gersham Pinder 242/464-0754, full-day bonefishing trips from $200. MARTINIQUE Le Domaine St. Aubin Sleeps sanctioned by Sarkozy You wouldn't expect a hotel that's hosted a head of state (Nicolas Sarkozy in 2007) to fall into the affordable category, but Le Domaine St. Aubin is that rare exception. Located amid the sugarcane fields and mango trees that overlook Martinique's less developed northeastern coast, Le Domaine is a passion project for Laurent and Joëlle Rosemain, who spearheaded a top-down renovation of the historic French-colonial plantation house. All 30 rooms are richly decorated with mahogany furniture, and common areas are accented with heirlooms from Laurent's family, whose island lineage dates to 1715. At the restaurant, however, the food takes center stage: The menu is filled with French Caribbean creations like lamb curry, fresh seafood, and chocolate soufflé with lime and rum. 011-596/596-69-34-77, ledomainesaintaubin.com, from $136. GET THERE CHEAP Playa del Carmen, Mexico Because there are still places where the dollar goes far. Plenty of Caribbean destinations are accessible via cheap flights—Puerto Rico, Jamaica, the Dominican Republic—but when it comes to the Riviera Maya, low airfare is only the beginning of your savings. Count an approximate 20 percent drop in the peso since 2008 as reason No. 1 why your dollar will go further here than it will in any other Caribbean spot. Once you land, all trips begin in Cancún, but from there the options are wide open, from the glitzy high-rises of Cancún's Hotel Zone to the thatched palapas of Tulum, one hour south. For convenience, however, Playa del Carmen, about 30 minutes south of the airport, can't be topped. Set smack in the middle of the 81-mile-long Riviera, Playa is just steps from the beach, a short ferry ride to the legendary dive sites of Cozumel, and a two-hour drive to the Mayan ruins of Chichén Itzá. In town, Mamita's Beach Club has white daybeds along the sand and a DJ spinning low-key dance music; just to the north, visitors can spend hours scanning for white scallop shells on Maroma Beach, arguably the area's most beautiful. Most hotels in Playa are set back from the beach—case in point, La Tortuga Hotel and Spa. Run by two Italian brothers, the 51-room inn tempts swimmers with a mazelike pool that looks as if it fell out of an M.C. Escher painting. The hotel is only a block from 5th Avenue, a hotbed of bars, restaurants, and clubs, and five blocks from La Tarraya, the oldest restaurant in Playa and a standout spot for fish tacos, ceviche, and ice-cold cerveza. If you'd rather stay on the sand, the thatch-roofed cabanas of Mahékal Beach Resort, complete with wooden decks and hammocks, will have you feeling like Robinson Crusoe in no time. Mamita's Beach Club, mamitasbeachclub.com, chair rentals $7 for the afternoon; La Tortuga Hotel and Spa. 866/550-6818, hotellatortuga.com, from $114; La Tarraya, 984/873-2040, tacos from $3; Mahékal Beach Resort, 877/235-4452, mahekalplaya.com, cabanas from $171 including breakfast and dinner. ST. LUCIA Bay Gardens Beach Resort Small-inn feel, big-resort perks In general, travelers to the Caribbean have two clear-cut options when booking hotels: smaller, intimate inns or larger resorts with serious services. St. Lucia's Bay Gardens Beach Resort bridges the gap. The 72-room hotel, on two-mile Reduit Beach immediately west of Rodney Bay, occupies a series of three-story houses that wrap around a doughnut-shaped pool and a beachfront restaurant. Visitors can choose between rooms or full suites (with kitchens), and from enough activities to fill two vacations: There's a dive shop, water-sports center, spa, yoga studio, deli, two restaurants, four separate bars, nightly concerts, and even perfor-mances by fire-eating dancers. If it starts to feel like a circus, the almost entirely St. Lucian staff balances the experience with deep local knowledge you won't find elsewhere. 877/620-3200, baygardensbeachresort.com, from $155. Anse la Raye Town-wide fish fry Each Friday, shortly before sunset, the St. Lucian hamlet of Anse La Raye plays host to one of the Caribbean's most distinctive food events: the fish fry. Within the two dozen or so food stalls on Front Street—right along the beach—you'll find everything from grilled dorado and red snapper to octopus, shrimp, conch, and even lobster, depending on the day's catch. After rounding out the mix with staples like fresh bakes (fry bread), accras (salt-cod fritters), and plantains, diners can head down to the beach to claim a picnic table in the sand. The bill? About $10. Off Mole St., stlucia.org. BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS Guavaberry Spring Bay Vacation Homes Covetable private cottages There are few spots more scenic than the Baths on Virgin Gorda—the idyllic, boulder-flanked grottoes are a staple of postcards and posters. And therein lies the challenge. How do you see them without the crowds? The answer comes in the form of the Guavaberry Spring Bay Vacation Homes, a collection of stilted, stand-alone one-, two-, or three-bedroom cottages with full kitchens, just a 10-minute walk from the Baths. The plan: Spend an afternoon relaxing on the beach at Spring Bay, a few minutes north of Guavaberry; then, as the sun starts to sink, walk south to the Baths. You should arrive just in time for sunset—exactly when all the day-trippers from neighboring Tortola are packing up. 284/495-5227, guavaberryspringbay.com, from $150. BEST BARGAIN ALL-INCLUSIVES (UNDER $200!) Since the first Club Med opened in Mallorca 60 years ago, all-inclusive resorts have spread to every corner of the globe, many of them in the Caribbean. They all claim to offer good value, but some can cost upwards of $700 a night. We scoured the field for four where you can find a room (and drinks and activities—and everything else) for less than $200. RIU HOTELS & RESORTS One of the largest chains in the Caribbean, Riu has 23 hotels in Cancún and the Riviera Maya, the Dominican Republic, Jamaica, the Bahamas, and Aruba. Most resorts are high-rises that flank sprawling, free-form swimming pools, the Riu signature. Best value: Doubles typically start around $200 a night, but rates at ClubHotel Riu Bachata in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic, are only $98 and up. riu.com. BARCELÓ HOTELS & RESORTS Perhaps owing to the predominantly European clientele, Barceló's 14 Caribbean hotels—five on the Riviera Maya and seven in the Dominican Republic—come off like Mediterranean transplants, with antipasto set out for lunch and loungers on the beachfront. Best value: Doubles start at $152 in the Barceló Bávaro Palace in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. barcelo.com. BREEZES RESORTS & SPAS With four resorts in Jamaica, one in the Bahamas, and one in Curaçao, Breezes tailors each property to its customers, from the family focus of Trelawny to the couples-centric vibe of the Breezes Bahamas. Best value: Off-season specials at the Breezes Runaway Bay Resort & Golf Club in Jamaica can go for as low as $175 a night. breezes.com. GRAND PINEAPPLE BEACH RESORTS Barely 2 years old, the Grand Pineapple Beach properties are the more moderately priced face of the successful Sandals luxury chain. With one resort in Negril and one in Antigua, the resorts are both family-friendly (tours are available to water parks and zip lines) and ideal for basic beach lovers. Best value: Doubles in low-rise cottages at the Negril outpost start at $176. grandpineapple.com.

Themed Cruises for All

ELVIS Catch the King singing and dancing (and sunbathing!) on a Legends Cruise, which also features doppelgängers for Roy Orbison, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Tom Jones. It departs from Galveston, Tex., for Cozumel and the Yucatán (thelegendscruise.com, from $610 for five nights, May 9–14). NICKELODEON Take your tots to breakfast with Dora and SpongeBob or get doused in green goo during a round of Nickelodeon's classic Slime Time Live game show on Norwegian Cruise Line's two 2011 Nickelodeon trips. One takes in the Bahamas, the other Italy and Spain (ncl.com, from $899 for six nights). POKER Card Player Cruises certainly attracts its share of sharks on trips to the British Isles and Normandy, Mexico, and Hawaii, but novices are equally welcome: Free lessons are always available, and a handful of tables limit the action to $1 per bet (cardplayercruises.com, from $809 for seven nights). CRAFTS Still struggling with your cable stitch? On Craft Cruises' knitting trips, expert instructors lead daily classes, from beadwork to pattern making and more, and they guide shore excursions to local designers' studios (craftcruises.com, from $780 for eight nights, classes from $45). ARCHITECTURE Get a crash course in southern European design on this Mediterranean sailing from Lisbon to Istanbul with Signature Travel Network. In addition to a private dinner with respected interior designers, passengers follow a customized architectural tour of Rome in a chauffeured car (signaturetravelnetwork.com, from $3,999 for 12 nights, Mar. 30–Apr. 11). FOOD AND WINE Farm to ship to table? On one of Celebrity Cruises' Savor Your Destination sailings from Fort Lauderdale to San Juan, Puerto Rico, and St. Thomas, U.S.V.I., chefs lead demos, passengers compete in cook-offs, and everyone dines on food-and-wine pairings (celebritycruises.com, from $650 for seven nights). BALLROOM DANCING Rumba, waltz, and score points with your loved one over Valentine's Day on Travelwize's dance-focused Queen Victoria cruise, which sails round trip from Los Angeles to Ensenada, Mexico. All packages include two private two-hour lessons (travelwizenow.com, from $1,029 per person for four nights, Feb. 13–17)

Ask Trip Coach: Ocean Cruising

READERS' TOP QUESTIONS What should a novice know to avoid feeling like an idiot? Follow my five essentials and you'll blend right in: (1) Don't ever pay the brochure price. You never spring for the hotel rack rate, right? Cruising is the same. The list price in the catalog is there mostly to make all those promotions seem like better deals. If you search in the right spots, you're guaranteed to do better. (2) It's a ship, not a boat. There's plenty of nautical lingo you can ignore, but calling an ocean liner a boat will get you pegged as an ignorant landlubber every time. (3) Wear whatever you want—until 6 p.m. It's fine to go casual to a buffet, but at any other type of restaurant, men should swap the Hawaiian shirt for a button-down and blazer, the swim trunks for slacks, and the flip-flops for business-casual shoes. Women, the equivalent. (4) Passport, passport, passport! Many cruisers rarely leave the ship, what with all the restaurants, zip-line rides, casinos, lectures, and comedy shows. But if you ever do want to escape, one sure way to feel like a rube is to get stuck on board. To disembark at most ports, you'll need an international ID. (5) All mandatory costs (food and lodging) are paid for up front. "It's possible to get by without spending a nickel during the trip," says Carolyn Spencer Brown, editor in chief of cruisecritic.com. But it will be a miracle if you do. Cruise lines are masterful at making all those "optionals" (spa treatments, margaritas, shore excursions) seem too enticing to pass up. So plan ahead to avoid any unpleasant surprises with the purser. How can I get the best deal? While many travel agents have been battered by the advent of online booking sites, they still reign supreme when it comes to cruising. Real-live agents are paid commissions by the cruise lines, so you won't pay a cent for their help, and they'll usually offer more insight and personalized advice than your computer. "Look for an agent who cruises a lot, really knows the ships, and can figure out which is right for you," says Paul Motter, cruisemates.com editor. When you do find agents that appeal to you, don't hesitate to test them out with a trick question. For example: Do they foresee any problems if your child isn't potty trained? (Kids in swim diapers aren't allowed in cruise-ship pools. Ever.) When is the best time to buy? You may have heard that the cruise industry's much-touted "wave season," which runs from January to March, is the optimal time, but really that's just when agencies sell the most cruises, not necessarily when travelers get the best deals. If you really want to save, opt for one of two tactics: Book really early or really late. Six or more months in advance, cruise lines try to fill up cabins by offering two-for-one deals, free airfare, and other promos. But you can also land a discount if you wait until the last minute, somewhere between two to six weeks prior. Last fall, for instance, the price of a seven-day Princess Cruises trip to the Caribbean was slashed from $649 to $499 per person. Keep in mind, though, that last-minute deals are usually only found for off-season trips: winter in Europe, summer and fall in the Caribbean, and spring and autumn in Alaska. Finally, if you're eager to sail on a hot new ship, patience goes a long way: Cabins that went for nearly $1,500 last winter on Royal Caribbean's new Oasis of the Seas are now available for less than $1,000. How much should I budget for extras? The reality is that cruises can (and will) nick you at every turn. How much is up to you. Spending an extra $50 per person per day is fairly average, and it's easy to drop a whole lot more. "The major extra is alcohol," says Brian David Bruns, who wrote about his year working as a cruise waiter in Cruise Confidential (travelerstales.com, $15). "We were always puzzled by passengers who stayed on board drinking $6 Coronas when they could buy them for a buck apiece at a bar in port." Another way to save: Ask a friendly crew member to tell you about excursions you can book on the spot in port. They generally cost half of what the cruise line charges. Finally, even though gratuities are normally added to your bill—usually $10 to $15 per person per day—it is possible to change the amount. The only caveat: You'll have to endure a potentially awkward face-to-face with a staffer to detail why the service didn't stack up. Which cruise line offers the best value? Again, it all comes back to optional costs. Cruisemates.com recently did the math comparing a luxury ship (Regent's Seven Seas Voyager) with a middle-market ship (Celebrity's Solstice) on nearly identical six-night Caribbean itineraries. At first glance, Regent cost far more: $3,365 vs. $1,895. But its all-inclusive bill covers airfare, alcohol, shore excursions, and tips. If you opted for those extras on Celebrity, your total expenses would be about the same, so it's arguable that Regent is a better value, given its top-notch restaurants and service. To compare more lines yourself, consult the comprehensive, 688-page Berlitz Complete Guide to Cruising & Cruise Ships (berlitzbooks.com, $24). OVER-THE-TOP AMENITY WATCH 3-D Movies! Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Seas is the line's first ship built with a 3-D movie theater. Guitars! Skip karaoke. Norwegian Cruise Line's Epic rents Gibson electric guitars for $10 a day. Skyscraper-size rides! The new water slide on Disney Cruise Line's Disney Dream drops a dizzying 765 feet.