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Ian Mount: Hi there, thanks for joining me. This is Ian Mount, and I'm ready to answer your questions about Buenos Aires and day trips outside the city. Hope I can be of some help! _______________________ Reno, NV: Would you be kind enough to recommend several moderately priced hotels in Buenos Aires? The last time I was there (May 2005) I had a wonderful time, but my hotel was less than comfortable. I had a similar problem on my previous trip to Argentina. There must be clean, well located hotels available. Where are they? Ian Mount: It's depends what you mean by "moderately priced", but one option I'd point you toward is a 'boutique hotel'. In the last three years, there's been a boom in really lovely small hotels in Buenos Aires, usually renovated old homes, where rooms go for between $80 and $120. They're somewhere between a B&B and a regular hotel (some have restaurants and spas, some just serve breakfast). The trendiest (and most high design) of them is the 18-room Home Hotel in Palermo Hollywood, where rooms start at $115. In San Telmo, there's The Cocker, where rooms start at $85 (always, check on my prices) and in Palermo Soho there's 1555 Malabia House with rooms from $105 and Bobo where rooms start at $100. There's a ton more: I did a post on my own blog about the boom in these places (http://www.goodairs.com/2006/06/its-raining-boutique-hotels.html) and Budget Travel also had a story about them. A note on prices: often (usually) the prices don't include taxes, which run 21%. _______________________ Pheonix, AZ: Can you recommend three clean small hotels or B&Bs in Buenos Aires offering a convenient location, close to subway (subte) station, and rates less than 50 US dollars (or 150 Argentine pesos) per night, including any taxes? It's helpful if the selected lodgings have email addresses to facilitate direct communications for reservations. Thanks! Ian Mount: I'm going to dodge your question a little, as a) I really don't know the budget hotel scene in B.A. too well and b) there's a better way to find accommodations in that price range. There are thousands (literally) of apartments you can rent short-term, for anywhere from one day to six months, and with prices at some $200/week (or less), if you're staying more than 3 days it's actually cheaper to rent an apartment and gives the added bonuses of offering you a kitchen and making you feel a bit like a resident. I've used ByT Argentina to book a place for my mom and that worked out well, and I know the head/owner of Whats Up Buenos Aires who's a trustworthy guy. There are tons of these services, many of which are probably honest and pleasant, but those are the two I know best. _______________________ Cedarhurst, NY: This Feb, we will be in BA for 4 full days. We have already arranged a 1 day excursion to the Pampas and a 1/2 day city bus tour. Any suggestions for the other 2 days? And can you also provide some recommendations for restaurants? Thank you Ian Mount: Like I mentioned in the article, I find estancia life and the gaucho culture totally fascinating, so I'd think about a trip to San Antonio de Areco and one night at Estancia El Ombu or La Bamba. If you feel that's been covered by your Las Pampas tour, you could take the Tren de la Costa up to Tigre, a delta city where the rivers are the roads and the front stoops are docks, and take a boat tour, eat lunch, etc. Lovely little town. Also, restaurants. There are so many that it's hard to pick what to recommend. For steak, I especially like La Dorita and La Cabrera (both in Palermo). Carlitos, across from the Boca Juniors soccer stadium, is one of those classic places where the owners comes out, says "Pasta or meat?" and then brings you tasty food until you're done. And Sottovoce, on Avenida Libertador in Recoleta, has the city's best Italian food (at least for me). _______________________ North Smithfield, RI: Ian, How would I plan a side trip to the northeastern portion of Argentina, Apostoles in the Misiones district? Ian Mount: I'll have to say that you got me there. Here's the Missiones Government tourism site, which shows that among other things on November 15 the province will be hosting the 24th National Festival of Wood. But, seriously, I've been to Iguazu waterfalls, which is lovely but tourist-packed (and sometimes waterfall free during drought season, so check before you go) and to Posada La Bonita, a quiet jungle lodge which is truly one of the most peaceful places I've ever been. About Apostoles, I'm a little in the dark. _______________________ Raleigh, NC: I'd love to plan our next trip to Buenos Aires, but my husband thinks anyplace in South America is too dangerous. Sure, there are some crime-ridden, scary places on any continent. We've been all over Europe, and I just don't believe Argentina is any more risky than, say, Germany. Am I right? Do you get the feeling that the locals have any particular disdain for Americans? Where can I go for more information of the safety of the city? I'm really excited to break out of our travel rut, but we both need to feel comfortable of course. Thanks so much for your help! Ian Mount: Buenos Aires used to be one of those absurdly safe cities where people left their front doors unlocked (at least that's what my Argentine friends tell me), and while it's no longer that I certainly think of it as being as safe as, say, New York. Of course, walking around a tourist area, carrying an expensive digital camera, and screaming in English is probably the best way to be pickpocketed, but I think that's likely true anywhere. And there are some neighborhoods I wouldn't walk around at 4 a.m. (again, like anywhere). In the news you will see a lot of very sensational crimes--"express" kidnappings of wealthy Argentine businessmen, rapes in the subway, etc¿but overall I find it to be wonderfully unintimidating, friendly and safe, especially for tourists. I used to live in New Orleans, another tourist heavy city, and to put it mildly Buenos Aires is far safe. I don't know any official statistics on the crime rates, but here's the US State Department sheet on the country. As for disdain for Americans, I've never really felt any. There is an incredible disdain for the current president--so his-and-hers "I Love Bush" shirts wouldn't be a great idea--but Argentines generally distinguish between the people and politicians. _______________________ Toledo, OH: What is the safety situation in Buenos Aires? Also, what is the inflation rate in the cost of apartments? Ian Mount: I'll point you to the last question re: safety. As for inflation, the rate is about 10-12% a year, which means hotel rooms that used to be $80 (US) are now some $100 (US). If you're asking about apartment buying, that really depends on the neighborhood. In hot neighborhoods like Palermo--where foreigners are buying houses and apartments--prices have maybe doubled in the last four years, while in more local barrios prices have risen at a more reasonable pace. _______________________ Irving, TX: Is it safe to rent a car in Buenos Aires and drive from town to town in Argentina? Ian Mount: I've only done that once with a rented car--to drive down to Mar de las Pampas for this article--and I found it totally safe. Cintra (my wife) and I used to have a car in the city, and we never had any trouble either in or outside the city (we drove to Cordoba, for example). One warning: the highways are pretty scary sometimes, as they're often two lane (one in each direction) undivided roads with 130 km/h (80 mph) speed limits and tons of cattle trucks. So if you're a tender hearted driver... (Here's a bit on the highways from the blog Cintra and I keep: http://www.goodairs.com/2006/10/basta-en-la-ruta.html) If you're thinking about leaving the car in Buenos Aires overnight, I'd think about putting it in a garage as opposed to on the street, as I've heard of a bunch of car theft (though I've never experienced it and I left our car on the street a bunch). _______________________ New Orleans, LA: I will be in Argentina from December 13 through December 23. I am going with two twenty-something girlfriends. We are going to be in Buenos Aires for most of the trip but we would like to go either to Mendoza or to the beach for a few days of that trip, and are trying to decide which one to do given the time restraints. Which one do you suggest and why? Ian Mount: I'd suggest the beach vacation, as it's definitely more of a 20-something scene and it would give you a true opportunity to see the crazy "flash" side of Argentine culture, all models and fashion shows and silliness. The only downside is that you're there right before the beach season kicks off--Christmas Day is when everyone heads to the beach--but I suspect Punta del Este (in Uruguay) and Pinamar (in Argentina) will be packed with the young and beautiful (and the prices will be a little lower than post-Christmas). Of course, Mendoza is lovely--don't get me wrong. I went there last year during that time and it was beautifully sunny and visiting the bodegas was totally fascinating (though if you're doing wine tasting, I'd get a driver--a "taste" in many of these bodegas is half a glass, so after three or four "tastes" driving is out of the question). Around that time it's very hot during the day (though sometimes there are hail storms; very odd). If you're into wine, horseback riding in the mountains, etc.--if you want more nature than craziness--that's where I'd go. _______________________ Dallas, TX: We are arrive in to Buenos Aires the 18th of November for 7 nights and would like to take a side trip. I've been told Cordova is an easy trip from BA. I've also been told not to miss Montevideo and the coast. What would you suggest? Ian Mount: Cordoba is an 8 hour or so drive and, to my mind, not a place you "have" to see (the city of Cordoba, that is). The foothills around it are beautiful, however, so if you're into camping that would be a great place to go. As for Montevideo, I found it to be--ok, I'll say it--dull. So I'd go to the coast of the three options you mention. In Argentina, Mar de las Pampas (of the article) is beautiful and silent, and the two towns next to it (Las Gaviotas and Mar Azul) are even more peaceful (all sand streets, bad cell phone coverage, etc). And I think in parts of those two towns you have to move around via horse. We're talking mellow. As for the other beach towns, Mar del Plata is more of a beach city¿think, say, Atlantic City--while Carilo is a very beautiful, upper-middle-class beach resort and Pinamar and Villa Gesell are more for "partying" (Pinamar is wealthier, I think, and Villa Gesell has more high-schoolers, but those are only quick impressions). _______________________ Sarasota, FL: I will fly into Buenos Aires the morning of Dec. 25 and will be there a couple of days on an OAT trip, going to Antarctica for small cruise ship. I was in BA 2 years ago and thought we would go to Christmas Mass at the beautiful 1500's white church on the hill in the arts area. What else is available on Christmas day and the day after, like museums or other things that won't be closed due to the holidays? Thanks, Lee Ian Mount: Wow. That's tough. Everybody stays up until 5 a.m. on Christmas eve, sleeps late on Christmas day, and then drives (or rather sits in a traffic jam) to the beach on Christmas afternoon. I honestly can't think of much that's open, I'm sad to say. It's a great day to walk the city, of course, maybe walk along the Costanera (the riverside road near the domestic airport) past the Fisherman's Club and just relax. _______________________ Washington, DC: We are going to Buenos Aires over Christmas and New Year's. Can you tell us what to expect on New Year's and any great family ideas where all the kids are in the low to mid 20's? Thanks! Ian Mount: New Year's Eve and Christmas Eve nights are truly fun in Buenos Aires, albeit a bit nutty. There is a huge Argentine obsession with fireworks, and on these two dates it seems like every citizen of the city has been issued two roman candles, a quarter stick of dynamite, and 12 bottle rockets. Don't even try to sleep. Instead, it's fun to walk the streets after midnight. Everybody's out shooting off what are presumably illegal munitions (there's nothing like seeing a policeman teach a 7 year old light a small bomb). It is also the night of late night parties (though this may appeal more to your kids). And we mean "late night". Last year we went to a dance party/nightclub set up on the Ciudad Cultural Konex--a very cool old olive oil factory remodeled into a museum/event space--at around 2 a.m. Sadly, we were turned away at the door and had to come back an hour later--because the event hadn't started yet. _______________________ University Park, MD: On an upcoming Saturday in Nov. we would like to travel from Buenos Aires to Colonia, Uruguay for a short visit. However, the fast Buquebus leaves at either around 11 am or around 7 pm - neither time works for us. Is there any other ferry that we might take beside Buquebus? Many thanks. Ian Mount: I know of no other ferry company that goes there (or any other ferry company at all, to be honest). You could take a bus, but it would take four times as long. You could also take the slow ferry, which takes 3 hours (versus 1/1.5) to cross but is very pleasant. Very open inside the ferry, with café style seating (as opposed to the fast ferry, which is set up like an airplane), and you can go on deck (which you can't do on the fast ferry) to watch the river go by and get some air. They leave at something like 9 a.m. and 12:30 a.m. (if you want to start late at night). For buses, places like Plataforma 10 bring together tickets from various bus companies. They might have some BA-Colonia trips. _______________________ Katonah, NY: We'd like to plan a trip to Buenes Aires from March 22nd thru March 28th, 2007. Might fares come down between now and then or is it better to book now? It looks like AA is the only carrier with nonstop service. Is this true? Thank you. Ian Mount: I'm always a fan of booking ahead, but carriers do sometimes come out with fares closer to the dates if you're willing to take a little risk. This might be especially true for March, which is just after the high season (the beach season ends at the end of February), so prices shouldn't be too crazy then. As for direct flights, I think American is the only direct from New York (though Aerolineas Argentinas may go direct sometimes), United comes from DC, Continental (I think) from Houston, and several from Miami (American, Aerolineas Argentinas and LAN, I think). _______________________ St. Croix, United States Virgin Islands: We are considering flying to Buenos Aires to be married there, preferably by a Catholic priest. We would like to stay at a great hotel for approximately a week to 10 days sometime around December 1st of this year and will need have someone on the hotel staff assist us with the details. Please let us know if this is a service that any of the hotels or wedding coordinators can offer. All the best, and thank you in advance for your kind response and/or suggestions. Ian Mount: I think I have some bad news for you: the US Dept of State site on getting married in Argentina (http://buenosaires.usembassy.gov/marriage_in_argentina.html) leads with "NO MARRIAGE CAN BE PERFORMED IF BOTH PARTIES ARE TOURISTS IN ARGENTINA." To verify this, you might sign up with an expat group like BANewcomers and see if anyone there has done an Argentine marriage. _______________________ Fort Collins, CO: I am leaving for Argentina on January 30th and plan on being there until about the middle of April. I have two and a half months to see the country's various regions. I am wondering what order I should go in. I want to see the places Ian mentioned in his article (the estancias and the beaches), but I also plan on spending about a month in the Lake District (in and around Bariloche helping on a farm with the harvest) and would like at least a week in Buenos Aires. I am trying to figure out what order I should see all of these places to make sure I get to them when the weather and the crowds are at their best. I'd appreciate any suggestions you could give so I can get the most out of my trip. Thanks so much, Lauren Ian Mount: Just a few quick ideas: 1) Prices at the beach go down through February and into March, but it's often still beautiful at least until the beginning of March. 2) If you want to check out the wine harvest in Mendoza, the first week of March is insane (it's the official wine harvest) so everything is more expensive. But much of the harvesting gets done after the festival, so if you go the second or third week of March you could do some picking at a wineyard and enjoy the city (which is truly beautiful and, compared to BA, very orderly) on the cheap. 3) I think you'd want to get to the Lake District before it gets cold, but that's not until June or July. I would love to give more specifics but I'm running out of time... _______________________ Ian Mount: Thanks for all of your questions, and come down and enjoy Argentina! -- Ian _______________________

We've gotten an outpouring of praise and criticism in response to our article Are You the Ugly American? on 10 common mistakes Americans make when traveling abroad. Here's a sampling: I am writing in response to Erin Richards' article on Budget Travel Online, "Are You the Ugly American?" In the article she states that in Germany, it can take up to three hours or more to get your meal while dining out. Either Ms. Richards is exaggerating (A LOT) or she has never eaten out in Germany. We are a military family and were fortunate enough to be stationed in Germany for three years. While there we ate out at least once a week. We also traveled around the entire country extensively. We never, EVER waited three hours for a meal. Not even two hours. The wait may have been a little longer in some places, but no more than trying to eat at Olive Garden on a busy night here in the States. I do agree that Americans do need to be more culturally sensitive when they travel abroad, and not expect other countries and cultures to become like us. However, I could not finish the article because after the "three hour wait" statement, I found the author's credibility to be questionable. --Diane Bralley, San Antonio, Tex. As a teacher who has lived for 16 years in Italy, Germany, and the Netherlands and traveled extensively worldwide, I couldn't agree more with your list of potential pitfalls. Dress, impatience, lack of language, and arrogance are the four I most often see that have the greatest negative impact. I have a niece who worked in Galway as a waitress in a pub, and she said the worst patrons were the Americans because they wanted everything to be just like in America: ice in their drinks and free refills, hot dogs, hamburgers, Budweiser, ice cream, pizza, etc. I wonder what our response would be to the German who wanted a breakfast of cold meats, a variety of breads, cheeses, yogurts, fruits, and hard boiled eggs. I might add that we are also VERY LOUD when conversing. It certainly isn't difficult for the locals to pick us out; 10 Americans sound like 25 Germans or Dutch. Since my stay in the States these past 10 months while assisting my ill mother, I am amazed at the increase in pace and lack of patience whether waiting in line or driving in rush hour traffic. I also can't understand why anyone would want the check before they have even gotten their food. I can't wait to return to the Netherlands and enjoy a three hour meal. I always say, the hardest thing to get at dinner is the check. --Larry Kirchner It is an obvious reference to the book, The Ugly American, by William Lederer and Eugene Burdick. This book was made required reading by my admiral when I was stationed overseas with the U.S. Navy in Singapore for three years. (I also lived in London for three years.) I'm just wondering, has Erin Richards ever read the book? She implies it's a bad thing to be an "ugly American," but in the book, the "ugly American" is actually the hero of the story! Although a short, round, bald fellow with glasses and homely features, he is a clever mechanical/engineering type who learns the local language and customs and works with the local people to solve irrigation problems. He and his wife live humbly in a home like the locals have in their fictitious foreign nation. Very soon he and his wife are trusted and loved by the local people. It is true there are many Americans who seem to lose their manners when they go abroad (if they ever had any), and Americans can be quite arrogant and ethnocentric. In that sense, we MAY be ugly, but in the book, even someone with an ugly appearance could be a positive representative of America. --Jeff Saville, Temecula, Calif. I think it is time for an article for tourists about how to act in my country, the United States. People seem to think it is alright to visit here and act obnoxious. People love to denigrate Americans even while being given our hospitality. I am as proud of my country as they claim to be of theirs. --Jan Taylor, Greenville, Miss. I have no problem with informational articles on customs and etiquette when traveling outside the U.S. However, why must you employ the liberal, politically correct, hate America (and Americans) phrase used in your headline? I am irritated by your presumption that any error made in a foreign country immediately qualifies Americans for such a timeworn, cheap shot label. Your elitism shines through in a liberal magazine owned by an over-the-top liberal. Perhaps you, Erin, are the ugly American, living in America. --Stan Stoneking, Citrus Heights, Calif. Thank you for the article. A phrase that would make the handy card of polite phrases even more helpful would be "Excuse me." There are times when one does something that appears rude such as bumping into someone or unintentionally doing any of the actions mentioned in the article. There are only seconds of eye contact in which the person offended decides if the action was intentional. It's a helpless feeling to not have the words to say you are sorry. I would also like to add that it isn't only the French that are put off by Americans' tendency to start a conversation without so much as a greeting. I know from my own blunder that the Dutch (and probably most of the world) feel the same. Thank you for a subject that bears reminding often. --MaryAnn Crosby, Madison, Wis. I understand what you are conveying when you refer to the Ugly American abroad. As you probably know, the ugly American in the book The Ugly American was the good guy serving in southeast Asia. He was only ugly in appearance. You are one of many who use the wrong reference when pointing out bad acting Americans in foreign locations. I suggest you recommend the book to your subscribers to learn who the real (good) Ugly American was, and, on the other side, who the real bad Americans were.Your fine magazine is a welcome sight in my mailbox each month. --Lee Gaffrey, Encinitas, Calif. I enjoyed Erin Richards' piece "Are You the Ugly American?" There is one more item that can be added. Americans should be sensitive to other cultures and not criticize or make fun of the locals, especially out loud in English. You never know who is listening and who speaks English. --Cheryl Hile, La Jolla, Calif. I was disappointed to see no mention of exercise clothes in the section on dressing respectfully. In more-conservative cultures, the skin-baring running gear that most Americans wear when they exercise can only come across as offensive. A friend who recently returned from Egypt shared photos of herself in skimpy running shorts and an exercise bra backgrounded by women who were covered from head to toe. Yikes! In Latin cultures, even in progressive Mexico, it is rare to see women wearing shorts in rural areas, outside big cities or major resort communities. And yet everywhere we go, we meet American women who are oblivious to the fact that they are the only females in the community with bare legs extending below short shorts. Appropriate dress in not just an issue of colors and restaurants. What we choose to wear sends big signals about our sensitivity to the values and cultural standards of others. Modesty, a standard which seems to be losing ground here in the U.S., is still a reliable measure when selecting what to pack in a suitcase and what to leave at home. --Mary Ann deVries, Polk City, Iowa Thank you so much for the article on Cultural Etiquette. Many Americans have an expectation that the world should conform to our norms and practices. We are willing to leave our homes but get upset when we find ourselves without all the same creature comforts we just left. The need for travel etiquette increases as Americans travel further off the beaten path and as they travel to fulfill the need for volunteers, the number of so-called vacations with meaning is increasing. All American travelers should consider themselves as goodwill ambassadors, to ensure they do not become critics of the local culture. Leaving the resort for a taste of the real world is a wonderful experience but realize a few things ahead of time: if you find the shower with much less pressure than you are used to (if you find a shower); then know that it is likely that somewhere in that country many have no running water. Enjoy the fact that you can wash when you want choose. I travel for work for CURE International, a healthcare NGO, and was recently in Afghanistan with my eldest son. I knew I could leave him on his own in the hospital because he has traveled extensively to many poor countires and above all else, he is a respectful young man. He knew that he was the guest, and he knew the importance of showing respect in a Muslim world. I, on the other hand, made the faux pas. When we arrived at the hospital, I saw a friend from the States I had not seen in quite awhile and immediately went to hug him hello. "No, Gerry--T.I.A.". I was quickly reminded (This Is Afghanistan, and men and women do not hug). I spent the next 10 days with my hands glued to my thighs lest I do what I typically do, which is to touch people as I speak to them, regardless if they are man or woman. This was my biggest challenge, keeping my hands to myself. I guess it's an Italian thing! We had running water about half the day and electricity for about 10 hours a day on a good day. We ate a lot of bread and rice. I did get sick but it was my fault: I used the tap to brush my teeth and succumbed to an infection that lasted for months. But I would go back tomorrow to have the privelege to share in a world that few Americans truly understand, to have tea in the home of a couple who lost most of their family in the wars, to drink German beer served by a Korean who is in the country because of his Christian faith and has opened a number of restaurants to train Afghans in the hospitality business, to talk to Afghan medical residents freely while in the operating room but then watch them behave more typically Afghan in the cafeteria (that is to nod as I passed, not laugh and joke openly). I met an American women who refused to cover her head. I wore full head covering, long sleeves, and long skirts the whole time I was there. I was a guest, and whether I agree with the need for head covering or not was irrelevant. While few Americans may travel to Afghanistan anytime soon, the rules you put forth in your article are important in a world where Americans are increasingly viewed as the bully or the bad guy. As a nonprofit we are very careful to educate our short termers (those medical professionals who volunteer two weeks or two months) on the culture they are going into and what they can and just as importantly cannot expect. Even our donors need to realize that we may have to turn down an offer for a free MRI machine--an important piece of diagnostic equipment not available anywhere in most of our African countries, because we are not sure we can maintain the electricity to keep the MRI room cool enough to keep it running. All in all, the mix of nationals and Americans has been for the great benefit of the countries we serve because we know that wherever we go, we are both students and teachers...and much is gained when you approach a visit with the willingness to learn! --Gerardine Luongo, CURE International

I love visiting my family in California at the holidays, but I usually get crabby. I was trying to figure out exactly why, not quite able to put my finger on it, when my friend Tonya Hinch explained it all to me. (Tonya is the most organized, most together person I've ever met.) "It's about a loss of control," she said. "You feel powerless, and you have to reclaim that sense of power." She then reeled off a list of four things she does when she visits her family, and I think it's brilliant. 1. Get your own space. You go from being lord of your own castle--or apartment--to being a subject at someone else's. And it hurts. One way to get your own sense of space is to stay in a hotel; naturally, this is not an option for everyone. "If forced to stay at a family home, beg for your own room, with a door that locks," says Tonya. "Not for wild sex, but for privacy. Make sure the room isn't used for a kid's playroom--if there's a PlayStation, run!" 2. Have your own car. "You need the ability to escape," says Tonya. "You can be subtle by offering to run to the grocery store, or just say that you need some air." This one really struck a chord with me--whenever I stay at my sister's house, I sit there and wait to be told what we're doing next. It reminds me of life before I got my driver's license, when I had to beg someone to drive me to the record store. 3. Take some personal projects. If you're like me, what keeps you going is a sense of accomplishment, whether it's from picking up the dry cleaning, reading a book, or completing a big work project. But when I visit my family, I'm like a bump on a log. I feel useless, and more often than not I end up watching TV. What I forget is that I can do something about it. "Updating your address book, addressing holiday cards, purging the sent file on your laptop, or programming your phone are wonderful projects," says Tonya. (I told you she's organized!) "It's also a good idea to bring an activity that can keep the kids occupied--board games, cookie-making kits, or a jigsaw puzzle." Last year at Christmastime, I came up with a project that both got me out of the house and gave me a sense of accomplishment. My sister and her family live in a northern California town called Tracy, and it cracks me up: It's like a seven-year-old girl named every single business in town. There's Tracy Billiards, Tracy Alterations, Tracy Beauty Supply, Tracy Books, Tracy Color Center, and so many more. For years, I said that I should take a photo of every sign I could find and send them to my good friend Tracy, who lives in North Carolina. I finally did it--my sister drove me and my niece, Allison, around Tracy, and I took 37 pictures. We had a blast! And once a week for the next 37 weeks, I e-mailed Tracy a photo. 4. Don't sit near the TV. Those of us who don't watch much TV can quickly go crazy when it's on all the time. (Plus, the more TV I watch, the more likely I am to crave junk food, which then makes me feel even worse about my unproductive, powerless self.) "Find a nice quiet spot, in a corner of the living room or at the dining room table," says Tonya. "Family members can come visit you for a bit, then go torture someone else." She said it, not me.

Reality-canceling headphones? His and hers fire extinguishers? A drinking-age time-zone watch? In their new parody, Sky Maul: Happy Crap You Can Buy From a Plane, the Kasper Hauser Comedy Group riffs on the gadgets, tchotchkes, and home-improvement tools that catalogs can make you feel like you need. Here's a hilarious PG-rated sampling!