Vacation Lessons from the Griswolds

By Kerry Lyons
September 2, 2014
We suspect you'll never come close to the blunders committed by Clark Griswold and his family in the Vacation movies starring Chevy Chase. Here, some real-life lessons the Griswolds learned the hard way—so you don't have to!

As summer winds to a close and the kids head back to school, we can't help but daydream about our next family vacation. And when we think of family vacations, we can't help but to reflect and chuckle at the antics that Clark Griswold and his family made famous during the '80s classic, National Lampoon's Vacation.  Here's a trip down the Griswolds' memory lane—and some for-real tips on how not to travel like a national lampoon!

Traveling with Grandma? Be Prepared!  No one really knows why the Griswolds' Aunt Edna kicked the bucket in the back seat, but it's possible she forget to pack her meds. Be sure to renew any prescriptions prior to departure and bring a copy of your prescription just in case it gets lost along the way.

Take time to enjoy the scenery. Remember when the Griswolds arrived at the Grand Canyon and Clark (a.k.a. "Sparky") simply gave a head nod and pronounced it "Great!" before turning around and hitting the road? Granted, he was on the run for other reasons (see below) but if sightseeing is on your agenda, be sure to build in enough time to see the sights in their entirety.

Road trip? Time for a tune up. Nothing says setback quite like a roadside breakdown. And no family suffered setbacks quite like the Griswolds—especially after they missed that "Road Closed" sign and the family wagon took flight before coming to a bumpy landing in the desert. Before you hit the road for the long haul, brush up on the basics: Change your oil, fill your wiper fluid, and make sure you're ready for the elements wherever the road may take you.

Always pack a swimsuit. You never know when an alluring pool will present itself. While Rusty and Audrey were disappointed by the algae-filled pool by the Grand Canyon, Clark couldn't resist the water (or Christie Brinkley) later in the trip. To avoid any embarrassing skinny-dipping snafus—and/or your spouse yelling from the balcony—always bring your bathing suit… and save your birthday suit for home.

Avoid the lines at theme parks. Remember when the Griswolds finally arrived at Walley World? The lot was empty, the "Chariots of Fire" anthem swelled to a crescendo… and then came to a grinding halt when they realized the park was… closed. Closed!  All those miles, all for naught. Don't let this happen to you. There are better ways to avoid long lines—and major renovations. Check your destination's website before you go and consider buying the "express pass" that many parks offer to ensure that you won't disappoint your own little Rusty or Audrey.

Don't take no for an answer. If there's one big lesson to be learned from the Griswolds, it's not to let two little letters stand in your way. N.O.  They faced it when looking for directions; they faced it when Clark ran out of cash and they faced it when they got to Walley World. But it didn't stop them. And it shouldn't stop you either. It's a good reminder that it never hurts to ask—for that room upgrade, for the AAA discount, for the free dessert. You just may find yourself with a private tour of Walley World—or a Friendly's Fribble on the house. Either way, it pays to (politely) challenge a no.  

Check the pet policy. As you may recall, poor Aunt Edna's dog met his maker somewhere on the side of Route 66. With his nasty nipping and bothersome barking, he wasn't much for making friends but even so, no dog should have to go the way he did. Recognizing that not everyone may love your four-legged friend, do your research before you go; make sure Fido is welcome at the campground, rest stop, hotel, and with any family members you may meet on your way. If not, sign him up for doggy day camp while you take to the open road.

Always bring some backup cash. Or credit. After Clark and Ellen's cash was stolen and cards were lost, they were left up a creek. Or, more aptly put, on the side of a Canyon. The Grand Canyon. Without two nickels to call their own. Clark solved that dilemma by swiping some cash from the hotel register; if robbery isn't your thing (and we don't recommend it!), be sure to have a backup plan. Store the 800 numbers you need to order replacement cards in your phone or, if you prefer, keep a copy of your card (front and back) hidden in the depths of your suitcase. That way you can be sure the shot you bring home is one of a magnificent vista—not a mug shot.

Visiting the cousins? Plan age-appropriate activities that will be fun for all. If you recall, the Griswolds' visit with Cousin Eddie, family and vacation don't always go hand in hand. While the kids were introduced to pot and porn, Clark was reminded that Hamburger Helper "doesn't need any help at all." To make sure that the whole gang has a great time, plan ahead to find local sights that will keep everyone engaged—and out of trouble.

Confirm your accommodations. After a long day on the road, you need a place to rest your weary head. For our pal Clark and his brood, there were times the pool was green and the bed was coin-operated… and vibrating! If that's not your thing, do your homework. Check online reviews, make a few calls, and ask your social circles (online and off) for suggestions. You'll be glad you did when you sink into a cozy bed at the end of a long travel day rather than cramming into a sleeping bag like Clark and Ellen.

When in doubt, channel your inner Griswold and sing, sing, SING! Whether it's the Walley World theme song or a rousing rendition of "Mockingbird," nothing says family fun like a sing-along… even if Mom and Dad are the only ones singing!

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How to Avoid 5 Common Scams in Bali

This article was written by Sia Ling Xin, who travels and writes about it for Asiarooms.com, a blog and online community focused on travelling in Asia. You can also find her on Twitter. Bali, also known as the land of gods, is an unforgettable island. Unfortunately, visitors are sometimes so taken by the island charm, they fall prey to common scams. Here's how to avoid getting cheated. Know your zerosIndonesian Rupiah (IDR) comes in large denominations, with 10,000 IDR and 100,000 IDR notes commonly used. $1 USD is approximately 12,000 IDR. A simple meal may cost you 40,000 IDR. With all the zeros floating around, it is easy to mix up your notes and end up paying $30 USD for a meal that actually costs $3 USD. Never be in a rush to pay. Instead, make sure you know how much change you should be getting back even before you hand over your cash. Merchants are less likely to take advantage of the confusion associated with large notes if they know you are careful. Always wait for your change, even if you want to leave a tip, in case you miscalculate the amount you should get back. The same advice goes for currency exchange. Always go to a licensed money changer such as a bank or hotel if you need to convert cash into IDR. While smaller money changers claim to offer better rates, they may confuse you with many small notes and end up giving you much less than you ought to receive. Turn the meter onTaxis are the default way to get around Bali, and drivers are aware of this. Always look for a Blue Bird Taxi (note: there are many cabs that are blue in colour, so look out for the actual words on the vehicle). Also, remember to shout out 'meter' before you step into the taxi. If drivers seem unwilling to turn the meter on, simply step out and wait for the next taxi. One is bound to come along within 30 seconds. Some drivers may quote you a seemingly low price, such as $3, but remember, taxis are super cheap in Bali, and $3 may already be a rip-off. Only take such cabs if you urgently need to get somewhere, and always negotiate the price down. Instead of making a counter offer, just shake your head. Desperate to secure clients, drivers have been known to cut from $5 to $1. If you take a metered taxi, you may find that the actual cost is only $0.80! If you are paying in IDR, always mention it upfront as well. Check out the competitionThere are often endless rows of restaurants and shops along the tourist stretches in Bali. Jimbaran Bay, famous for its beachfront seafood restaurants, is the epitome of perfect competition. Remember, there is always a better deal to be had. Do your research on how much you should expect to pay for a meal, and stick with that amount. If you find a good deal backed up with reviews online, go ahead and make a reservation. If you choose to be spontaneous and only pick a restaurant when you're there, be sure to check out at least 4-5 places before settling on one. Hesitation can work well in your favor—merchants are known to give discounts of almost 50 percent, throw in free beers, transportation, dessert, and dangle other carrots to get your business. The best part is you don't even need diehard bargaining skills—just look doubtful and as though you can walk away any moment, and they will be pulling out all the stops to get you to stay. Note it downIf you are promised a deal that seems too good to be true, one way to safeguard yourself is to write the price and main terms down. For example, if you are promised fish, mussels, clams, and crab at a 'special price' for your dinner, jot down the agreed quantity and price, then get the server's confirmation before giving your go-ahead and order. This will help prevent disputes such as you being served a tiny fish or just a couple of clams as you were offered a special, lower price which included less food than you thought it does. Sob storiesIf you hear anyone telling you a sob story (sick, injured, or poor family members are common tales), take it with a grain of salt. Whether it is your designated driver whom you hired to show you Bali, a random person you meet along the streets, or staff servicing you, try not to get too attached. It can be a ploy to illicit your sympathy and money. Ask them how they get by, what they do to make a living, and which hospital or welfare organization they seek help from. It is all right to give a small tip in exchange for their services. However, if it is a stranger, the best way to help is to donate to a trusted and established charity which benefits the locals. Click here to see a travel video about things to do in Bali.

New Zealand + Tahiti = A Unique South Pacific Getaway!

Mountains or beach? Adventure or relaxation? How many times have you had that travel-planning conversation? Especially if you're thinking of a far-flung fling to the other side of the planet, you want to be sure you book a vacation that's right for you. How about New Zealand and Tahiti? That's right. We've noticed lately that it's possible to combine two incredible South Pacific destinations in one trip. You can set up a travel itinerary that includes rugged, scenic, and adventurous New Zealand, plus beautiful, relaxing, tropical Tahiti (with its luxurious overwater bungalows, turquoise lagoons, and superb snorkeling). Air Tahiti Nui has flights from Los Angeles to Auckland, New Zealand, via Tahiti! Extend your stopover in Tahiti (it's about eight hours from Los Angeles and less than six hours from Auckland), the main island in French Polynesia, for three or four nights. Spend some time exploring Papeete, the island's main city, stay at a luxury resort with an overwater bungalow, go whale-watching, take a 4x4 safari, explore the island's culture and food, or just hit the beautiful white and black sand beaches! New Zealand, of course, was the setting for Middle Earth in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbit films, and the country can be easily explored by car. Don't miss Auckland's harbor tour, Sky Tower, and a day trip to the Waiheke islands. On your way to Rotorua, drive through Waitomo caves for a boat ride under the light of—for real—thousands of glowworms! You could easily spend a week or more getting to know New Zealand's diverse terrain, Maori culture, and justly renowned Lake Taupo, the country's largest body of water and a magnet for parasailing, kayaking, and fly-fishing for rainbow trout. And a stop in Wellington (with more bars, cafés, and restaurants per capita than New York City) is practically mandatory. Ride the Wellington Cable Car up to Kelburn Village for amazing cityscapes! A stopover in Tahiti on the way to New Zealand (or on the way back to the U.S.) is a great way to see more of the South Pacific in one trip. You might consider a package deal, such as those offered by PacificIslands.com.

Inspiration

Don't Miss These September Travel Sales!

Welcome to shoulder season! Here are some of our favorite hotel sales happening this month. CARIBBEAN • FLASH SALE: You can save up to 50 percent on rates at the Grand Lucayan on Grand Bahama Island when you book a stay of three or more nights this Labor Day Weekend for travel Sept. 1 thru Dec. 20th. Not only will rates start at $89 a night, but you'll also score a $250 resort credit per stay to use towards perks like spa treatments, dining, and resort-style golf. Click here for more info and to book your trip by Sept. 1st. • IBEROSTAR Hotels & Resorts are extending their current special that allows kids to stay and eat free at their properties throughout Mexico and the Caribbean including Playa Mita, Cozumel, Paraíso Beach, and Paraíso Del Mar, among others. Book your all-inclusive stay now thru Oct. 31st for travel thru Dec. 23rd; blackout dates apply Nov. 22-29, 2014, during which regular children's rates will apply. HAWAII • If you're planning a trip to Hawaii this September, you can save on a stay at The Equus in Waikiki, offering rates from $149 a night from Sept. 6th thru 27th just in time for the Aloha Festival events happening all around Waikiki. Just call 808/949-0061 and mention Aloha Festival when you book. • Worth the splurge: Now thru Nov. 27th, you can stay in a newly renovated luxurious ocean-view room at the Turtle Bay Resort on Oahu's gorgeous North Shore for from $209 a night. Regular rates usually start around $269 a night, so don't miss the opportunity to stay at this magnificent hidden gem of a property. FLORIDA • Interested in visiting Orlando, Florida, to see the latest Harry Potter attractions at Universal Studios? Sticking around for the 2014 EPCOT International Food & Wine Festival starting Sept. 19th? Planning your trip around Orlando's Magical Dining Month? Consider staying at the Wyndham Orlando International Drive, where you can save 25 percent on select stays from Sept. 1st thru Nov. 1st, with rates starting at just $69 a night. Use promo code DIS15 when booking this deal online. Or, book your stay at the Orlando World Center Marriott by Sept. 28th for travel thru Oct. 21st and enjoy room rates from $179 a night, plus a $50 resort credit per night when you use promo code ZX0 and refer to the Endless Summer deal. • Several hotels in Miami are running specials during the month of September: You can save 30 percent on rooms at The Freehand Miami with rates starting at $103 a night when you book by Sept. 30th. The Redbury Hotel is offering rooms from $260 a night, but has a Stay 2, Get 1 Free special now thru Sept. 30th, which breaks down to from $173 a night. Call 855/220-1776 or book online and mention promo code 3FREE. (Minimum three night stay required). The Impala Hotel has a similar 3rd Night Free package with rates starting at $131 a night. The SoBeYou Bed and Breakfast is also having a sale, with rooms starting at $116 a night including complimentary full breakfast and mimosas. Sonesta Coconut Grove Miami has rates starting at $152 a night now thru Sept. 30th, including full American breakfast for two and complimentary valet parking. • Rates at The Vinoy Renaissance Resort & Golf Club in St. Petersburg start at $189 a night now thru Oct. 31st when you book by Sept. 28th and use promo code ZXO. COLORADO • Save on a stay at The Village at Breckenridge and Mountain Thunder Lodge by visiting after Labor Day weekend when rooms are about 30 percent lower. Come to see the fall colors in this beautiful part of Colorado and stay close to all the action on Main Street with rates starting at $120 a night for a four-night stay. • Visit Keystone this fall for post-Labor Day rates as low as $128 a night when you stay three nights (including taxes and resort fees). You'll also get access to complimentary golf, yoga classes, a free hour of tennis court rental per person, and vouchers for free draft beer or house wine per person. VARIOUS CITIES AROUND THE U.S. • Don't miss the Endless Summer sale at several Marriott Resorts around the country. Book your stay by Sept. 28th for travel thru Oct. 31st and use promo code ZXO to score rooms starting at $139 a night—you'll also get a $50 or $100 nightly resort credit depending on where you stay. Participating hotels include Fort Lauderdale Marriott Harbor Beach Resort & Spa; Fort Lauderdale Marriott Pompano Beach Resort & Spa; Gaylord Palms Resort & Convention Center; Hilton Head Marriott Resort & Spa; Hutchinson Island Marriott Resort & Marina; JW Marriott Orlando Grande Lakes; Key Largo Bay Marriott Beach Resort; Marco Island Marriott Beach Resort, Golf Club & Spa; Orlando World Center Marriott Resort, Palm Beach Marriott Singer Island Beach Resort & Spa; Sanibel Harbour Marriott Resort & Spa; Sawgrass Marriott Golf Resort & Spa; The Vinoy Renaissance St. Petersburg Resort & Golf Club; Turnberry Island Miami; Coronado Island Marriott Resort; Gaylorg National Resort & Convention Center; Gaylord Opryland Resort & Convention Center; Gaylord Texan Resort & Convention Center; Kauai Marriott Resort; Lodge at Sonoma, A Renaissance Resort & Spa; JW Marriott Camelback Inn Resort & Spa; JW Marriott Desert Ridge Resort & Spa; JW Marriott Desert Springs Resort & Spa; JW Marriott Ihilani Ko Olina Resort & Spa; JW Marriott Las Vegas Resort & Spa; JW Marriott Los Angeles L.A. LIVE; JW Marriott San Antonio Hill Country Resort & Spa; JW Marriott Starr Pass Resort & Spa; Renaissance Esmeralda Indian Wells Resort & Spa; Vail Marriott Mountain Resort; Waikiki Beach Marriott & Spa; and Wailea Beach Marriott Resort & Spa. • Dog lovers, rejoice! The Blue Palms Resort, located close to Mariner's Pier and Raging Waters Water Park in Wildwood, New Jersey, is offering pet-friendly accommodations from Sept. 5-9 with the Wildwood Unleashed package, with rates starting at $81 a night. A perfect way to wrap up the summer at Morey's Piers & Waterfront Water Parks with the entire family. A two-night minimum stay is required. Please call 609/522-0606 to book your stay. Guests staying at other Morey Hotels & Resorts properties like the Pan American Hotel, Port Royal Hotel, Starlux Boutique Hotel, and Blue Palms Resort can save up to 70 percent on water park and ride passes thanks to the Play & Stay package now thru Sept. 14th. • Visiting San Diego in September? Rates at the Lakehouse Hotel & Resort start at $129 on weekdays and $169 on weekends now thru Sept. 30th. Kids also eat free in the Grill, one child per adult, and receive a special milk and cookie welcome. • Visitors to the Mission Point Resort in Mackinac Island, Michigan, can enjoy rates starting at $145 a night during one of the most beautiful times of the year to see Lake Huron. • Rates at the Grand Geneva Resort & Spa in Grand Geneva, Wisconsin, start at $199 a night now thru Sept. 29th. Guests also score a $50 resort credit to use at the property, located 90 minutes from Chicago and 50 minutes from Milwaukee. • Worth the Splurge: You can save 25 percent on rates at the Waldorf Astoria Park City in Park City, Utah, when you book your stay now thru Sept. 15th, with rooms starting at $229 a night. • St. Louis Cardinals fans, rejoice! The Hyatt Regency St. Louis at the Arch has a special package just for you. For from $249 a night, you'll get accommodations, two tickets to a Cardinals home game at Busch Stadium, a voucher for a Louisville Slugger bat, and a $25 food and beverage credit per day at Brewhouse or Red Kitchen & Bar. (The package starts at $339 for four tickets). Click here for more info and to book this package. • Travelers ages 59 and up can save up to 15 percent on rates at Red Roof Inn properties around the country this fall with the Red Roof September Senior Discount. Refer to promo code 607564 when booking in September to receive this special discount. Red Roof Inn also gives seniors a 10 percent discount on stays year-round.

Inspiration

Off The Beaten Path Costa Rica: The Mysterious Ancient City Of Guayabo

The mist slowly dissolved and trees and vines became visible. Other shapes, not from nature, also materialized through the morning drizzle. It was my first glimpse of Guayabo, Costa Rica's ancient lost city. The patina of antiquity on these rock walls and roadways made them look like they have always been here in the highland jungle. Guayabo's earliest structures date from 3,000 years ago. The peak of the city was between 800 and 1300 AD when up to 5,000 people lived here. By the time the first Spanish arrived in 1502, the site had long been abandoned and overgrown. The remains seen today are stone cobbled roadways, foundations, aqueducts, fountains, and drainage systems, and the waterworks still function after 3,000 years. One fountain reminded me of the Inca royal baths near Cuzco. Below Guayabo's bathtub-sized pool is a larger reservoir, replenished from the smaller pool. Cattle watered here 50 years ago in the same place where kings and queens once bathed in the regal splendor of cleansing ceremonies. Little is known about the way of life because the archeological context is lost, with most of the more intricate objects looted or re-purposed by local people over the past century and a half. Until 1973, when it was declared a national monument, the Guayabo site was used as a cattle pasture. Petroglyphs carved into the larger stones depict animals, including an alligator and a jaguar. One controversial example is a spiral design that has been theorized as a map of the community. Other curvilinear forms carved into rock might have been a form of writing. The extent of Guayabo was only realized after NASA images taken from space were analyzed. Based on these photographs, archeologists are certain that the excavated portion that is on display is the true center of the community. Several similar cities, along with connecting cobbled roads, were recently found with the help of NASA space imagery. Only a small part of Guayabo has been cleared from the jungle. A still smaller portion has been fully excavated. Among the objects unearthed are small jade and gold ornaments, as well as larger stone statues depicting jaguars, crocodiles, and other powerful predators. Anthropologists think these had religious, shamanistic, as well as political significance. In 1882 Anastasio Alfario, director of Costa Rica's National Museum began digging at the site shortly after it was discovered by farmers who colonized the area. In 1968, Professor Carlos Aguilar and the University of Costa Rica began excavations in a plan that is still being followed. Today excavation and interpretation are being carried out by the University of Costa Rica with the National System of Conservation Areas. Researchers from American and British universities are also involved. Guayabo is located at 1,150 meters above sea level where the atmosphere is a little cooler, but the Caribbean watershed is a very damp place and nothing made of wood or fabric lasts too long if left exposed. The structures that have been restored include stone foundations in a circular pattern that were the base for huge conical residential buildings, like teepees of wood. To get to Guayabo, you must first travel to Turrialba, a city with a population of about 30,000. A mid-morning bus leaves Turrialba's main station and you can catch the return bus at 3:30 p.m. The route is very scenic. If you're driving, take Highway 1 from San Jose, through Cartago and Turrialba, continuing through town and across the bridge. It is 84 kilometers from the capital. Admission is six dollars and guided tours are available twice daily. There is also a nature trail where you might get a glimpse of toucans, woodpeckers, thrushes, and other birds, as well as coatis, armadillos, sloths, lizards, snakes, and butterflies. You can camp near the ruins, though services are limited to just restrooms and picnic tables. Archeological tourism is on the rise in Costa Rica. The Park and Museum of the Stone Spheres opened in April 2014, and other new sites are also being considered for excavation and interpretation. Born in The Hague, Andrew Kolasinski arrived in Canada as a small child riding in the luggage rack of a DC-7. Since then he has felt at home anywhere. As the publisher and editor of Island Angler, Andrew spends half the year fishing for salmon and trout, and in the off-season he travels the world looking for a story. He wrote this article for South American Vacations, specialists in Costa Rica tours and travel all over Latin America.