True Stories: Rated R

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"I went on a group cycling tour to Italy. A couple from Denver laughed about my tendency to take pictures of my hotel bathrooms. I take a lot of photos to remind myself of the places I've stayed. I couldn't wait to share my photos with the tour group. The Denver couple noticed that one bathroom picture had added features in the mirror. They got a good laugh out of it.
"My husband and I spent the final day of our honeymoon in Bonaire at Washington Slagbaai National Park. While there we stopped at the restrooms. At first, I failed to see what distinguished the men's room from the women's—until I got close enough to see the men's room sign in all its glory.
"In the Grenadines, my wife and I were spending an afternoon on a deserted island when this fisherman waded ashore. He offered to sell us the lobster—and even cook it on the beach—but we graciously declined as we would've been too distracted by the scenery.
"My friend Stephen and I ran into this fellow on a Key West sidewalk. He said that for a few bucks we could take a photo with him. To add a little flavor to our photo, we dropped our pants. As the second photo was being shot, the photographer gasped. We got a whole lot more than we bargained for.
"My sister and I drove around Croatia to celebrate her 30th birthday. Our greatest adventure happened on the island of Hvar. While my sister concentrated on the road, I looked ahead and saw this colorful bicyclist—who had obviously forgotten to rub sunblock on his bum.
"On the Thai island of Ko Samui, my girlfriend and I visited a monkey farm. After I took a few pictures of an unenthusiastic monkey on my girlfriend, it was my turn. She and our guide burst into laughter: The monkey was pleasuring himself inches from my head!
"I had to go San Francisco for business, so I decided to fly in a few days early to see the sights. As I was leaving my hotel, I noticed a crowd of people gathering for a parade, so I stayed to watch—and saw way more than I'd bargained for!
"My husband and I were enjoying dinner in Nassau, Bahamas, when I asked another patron to snap our picture. It came out fantastic—although I suppose I would've been better off wearing undies that matched my dress….
"With about 80 elephants grazing just in front of him, my husband had plenty to smile about while exploring the Pinnewala elephant orphanage near Kegalle, Sri Lanka. He had no clue, however, what was going on just over his shoulder.
"On my trip to Katmandu, Nepal, I observed a religious celebration outside the Pashupati Temple. This picture wasn't supposed to be taken but somehow I managed to get the shot. The man is lifting a sizeable sack of rocks, chained to his penis, approximately five inches above the ground.
"I recently went to Bermuda with a few friends. They were straight-laced church going women and we decided to rent mopeds for the day. Imagine our surprise and humiliation when we found out what my nickname would be for the day.
Readers love the tribesmen of Irian Jaya—but there are only so many pictures of men wearing gourds we can print in the magazine.
"I often visit my daughter in St. Louis. It's great to enjoy her company and the pleasures of the city. It was a perfect day for a trip to the St. Louis Zoo. We took lots of pictures, but this one was the best.
Along with her friend, this reader traveled to St. John's, Newfoundland, and took a detour to a town called Dildo. She tried to make the locals laugh, but was unsuccessful. They'd heard all those jokes before.
"While at SeaWorld in Orlando, we visited Clydesdales. We'd been petting and admiring these beautiful horses and decided to have a photo shoot. The photographer told my youngest son to reach back and pet the horse. We didn't realize until we got the photo exactly where he was touching!
"On a trip to Cambodia with my sister, I decided to pose for a picture in Angkor Wat beside a temple and a friendly horse. At the time, I didn't know what my sister was giggling about. After posing, I took a good look at the horse and realized what was so humorous.

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