Thanks, but, um...

By Erik Torkells
October 3, 2012

For our 10th-anniversary issue, we enlisted readers to write and photograph our June issue. I hesitate to make fun of any of our readers, but...a few of the pitches we got were kind of funny. Here are the top six stories we didn't assign:

"China. Most challenging restroom facilities. Especially for women. Title: Bathrooms I have Known."

"I would like a get away from it all--especially automobiles. I have been hit three times within a five year period. After recovering from injuries, I would like to go celebrate and truly feel like I can relax away from our auto based society."

"My dream trip to Tahiti turned out to be a disaster. I vomited on the French man beside me."

"I always thought it would be really cool to make a coffee table book about toilets around the world. Everyone needs them, uses them and they are such a cultural thing... I've heard of the places that are just a hole you stand over. And, since this could be a monumental project... but you would pay the tab... I say we choose a venue that would over a lot of toilets, yet not be a round the world trip. Toilets of the Orient Express. I think it has a nice ring to it..."

"My friends always ask for my travelogues after my trips. They say reading them is almost like being with me. They even request my work trip stories from pig farm tours."

"Switzerland, Norway, Netherlands, and Belgium: The best destinations for your final days. A story about death tourism, or the practice of some persons choosing to die in a country other than their own, would certainly grab the attention of readers."

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Live like a lighthouse keeper in Michigan

A sweet little clapboard lighthouse at the tip of Old Mission Peninsula—overlooking Grand Traverse Bay’s rocky shoals—opens to the public on June 7 for the first time since its construction in 1870. Visitors can climb the tower for views and brush up on the history of the lighthouse, which shined a kerosene lamp and then an electric beacon until it was decommissioned after World War II. If you have a month and $600 to spare, you can be among the first to try out a new volunteer lighthouse keeper program at Old Mission Point Lighthouse. It’s modeled after successful one- and two-week opportunities at Grand Traverse Lighthouse across the bay in Northrop. Volunteers should expect to pitch in with light maintenance work, man the gift shop, and act as informal guides available to field visitors’ questions (not to worry, there’s an orientation). The $600 per person fee covers a month’s stay at the lighthouse in private quarters that include a bedroom, a fully equipped kitchen, a living room, and an office space. While away any free time by exploring the 18-mile peninsula’s beaches, vineyards, hiking and cycling trails, and sites like a furnished log cabin and a 1850s general store. INFO Admission to Old Mission Point Lighthouse is $4 for adults, $2 for kids; open 10am-5pm during the opening weekend (June 7-8), daily from June 11 through Labor Day, and weekends during leaf-peeping season. Call 231/386-7195 for details on volunteering at either lighthouse. MORE FROM BUDGET TRAVEL Stay in a Lighthouse in Croatia Work as an Innkeeper for the Weekend