A Witty Guide to Wimbledon Etiquette

Jennifer Paull: Hello everyone, I'm Jennifer Paull, here to field your questions on the California Wine Country, from the up-and-coming regions of the Central Coast to the big guns of Napa and Sonoma. Lots of questions have been pouring in (couldn't help the pun) and I'll do my best to get to them all in the next hour. If you have special preferences about the experiences you're looking for, do let me know so that I can best tailor my suggestions. Now let's uncork the questions¿ _______________________ Bellevue, WA: I am heading to Sonoma (get there about every three years). Once again, I am waitlisted on the famous French Laundry. Hit the wonderful Cyrus last time, but wonder if there is another lesser know gem to dine at—and also a lesser known winery that needs to be discovered (my friends are sending us to Flowers, which I had not tried, and last time we found Bella, which was lovely!) Thanks, Tammy Jennifer Paull: Hello Tammy—what a mouthwatering question! Sounds like cost is no object in your hunt for a special restaurant, so I won't hesitate to recommend the Farmhouse Inn. Although this place has been in business for several years, it's off the beaten track in Forestville, so it's not jammed with daytrippers. The menu is contemporary with a French slant and they source plenty of ingredients locally, like the goat cheeses from down the road. Another option is Healdsburg's Dry Creek Kitchen, led by star chef Charlie Palmer—very sophisticated, modern cooking. And speaking of things Dry Creek, have you explored the wineries in the Dry Creek Valley? Places like Preston Vineyards and David Coffaro Estate are laid-back, small-production spots with memorable wines, and Michel-Schlumberger has some terrific cabernet sauvignons to try. Have a great trip! _______________________ Northfield, Vt.: I will be in Sonoma 3/19-3/20. What are the "must visit" vineyards in Sonoma for a 2 day trip? The best 2-3 restaurant choices for dinner in the town of Sonoma? Thanks. Jennifer Paull: Let's see, are you looking for a good place for an introduction to winemaking and wine tasting—or would you prefer to skip tours etc. and find a quiet, family-run spot? Benziger, near Glen Ellen in the Sonoma Valley, has a particularly good tour, during which the guides describe the various microclimates, show you an aging cave, and so on. The tours are first come, first served, so be sure to get here before noon. If you'd rather stop into smaller places along a scenic route, head for the Westside Road, which follows the Russian River southwest of Healdsburg. Several of the wineries here, like Gary Farrell, make wonderful pinot noir. As for restaurants in the town of Sonoma, the Harvest Moon is a reliable stop for homey, delicious cooking. Santé, in the Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn & Spa, may be the town's swankiest place to eat. If you'd like to branch out, try LaSalette's Portuguese-inflected dishes. (LaSalette's also a good place for breakfast.) _______________________ Henderson, Nev.: What do you think about the wines from Livermore, CA? Jennifer Paull: I haven't tried very many wines from Livermore (they're not easy to find here in NYC!) but I was impressed by a Rhone-style red blend from Thomas Coyne. Livermore's definitely an up-and-coming appellation, and it's getting more and more daytrippers from the Bay Area. _______________________ Dallas, Tex.: I am making my first trip to Napa Valley April 2-5. I am traveling alone. I plan to tour some wineries. Do you recommend a group tour with strangers or getting my own car and driver? I am okay with either, but I want to use a good service with knowledgeable guides. Any recommendations? Also, what are good spas in the area? I am staying in Napa. Thanks! Jennifer Paull: Your decision not to drive yourself is a good one—you won't have to worry about getting behind the wheel after sipping. But with just a few days in the area, it might be best to maximize your opportunity and do just what you like, when you like, with a personal tour / driver. Beau Wine Tours can chauffeur you around in a sedan or limo; you can either put together your own list of places to visit, or pick one of their pre-set tours. They specialize in Napa, so they really know whereof they speak. The Napa Wine Tours company has several prearranged options and group tours, including a bike tour. For spas, a big splurge would be the Spa at Villagio, which just underwent a revamp. The Health Spa Napa Valley is a good choice if you'd like to incorporate yoga or a workout. Hitting the mud baths in Calistoga is a neat way to tap into Napa's history (although sometimes the peaty smell takes some getting used to). Places like Indian Springs have been here for over a century. A new resort, Solage, just opened a sleek spa complete with a "mud bar." _______________________ San Clemente, Calif.: The Dry Creek Valley in Sonoma County, just west of the town of Healdsburg, seems to be an up-and-coming wine country region. Can you tell us what some of your favorite Dry Creek Valley tasting rooms might be? Jennifer Paull: Dry Creek Valley is definitely getting more and more attention these days—especially by zinfandel fans. See my note to the reader from Bellevue for a few winery suggestions. Another popular stop is Quivira. _______________________ New York, N.Y.: What wineries can I visit in Napa/Sonoma that focus on sustainable or organic winemaking? Jennifer Paull: Sustainable and organic viticulture and winemaking are really taking off. More and more wineries are making special green efforts, and you can get into some complex, fascinating conversations about the merits and definitions of different methods. One great place to start is Frog's Leap in Rutherford. This was the first Napa Valley winery to be certified organic, and the staff can talk at length about everything from cover crops to the use of beneficial insects. And the wines are delicious, too. De Loach Vineyards, in Sonoma's Russian River Valley, illustrates the principles of biodynamic farming. This method reaches beyond the standard organic techniques, taking a holistic approach. If you've been hearing stories about burying cow horns filled with cow manure in the vineyards and are curious to know what's going on, De Loach is the place to go. _______________________ Eufaula, Ala.: I'm going to be in Sonoma for a long Valentine's Day weekend. Any recommendations for something romantic, other than a nice dinner? Jennifer Paull: How about a balloon ride over the vineyards? The soft dawn light and the silence as you glide above the landscape are pretty incredible. (Just don't watch or read "Enduring Love" before you go.) There are a handful of companies that offer flights in both Napa and Sonoma, including Balloons Above the Valley and Napa Valley Balloons. When you touch down you'll be poured a glass of bubbly. _______________________ Arlington, Tex.: We will be staying in St Helena in mid April. We want to taste and eat. We have 2 days, how can we optimize this brief time? Kendall Jennifer Paull: Hi Kendall—Two names you'll undoubtedly hear paired with St. Helena are Stony Hill Vineyard and the restaurant Terra. They're both outstanding experiences. Stony Hill is synonymous with chardonnay. The family-run winery has been around for over 50 years and its wines have been revered by literally generations of wine drinkers and critics. Be sure to call ahead for a tasting and tour of the beautiful property. Terra's dining room oozes old-school romance-by-candlelight, but its menu has some fresh, Asian-inspired twists. But if you're looking for something casual and popular with locals, hit Taylor's Automatic Refresher, an outdoor burger stand. The look is 1950s but the menu has things like an ahi tuna burger. _______________________ Orlando, Fla.: We are thinking about taking our honeymoon in California in October of this year. Ideally, we would like to have an itinerary that takes us from San Francisco through the wine country and up to the Pacific Northwest. What would you recommend for our northern California wine country stops? Thank you! Jennifer Paull: What a perfect time of year to take this trip—you'll be there during "crush," when the grapes are being harvested. This is also an extremely busy time, so be sure to make your reservations well in advance! I'm not sure what sorts of wines or experiences you're looking for (are you familiar with tasting rooms, or new to wine tasting?) so here are a few different suggestions. Starting block: a short, fun winetasting class at the Copia center in Napa. For some bubbly: Schramsberg, one of Napa's oldest wineries, where you can see literally millions of bottles in 19th century caves. Besides, can't have a honeymoon without bubbly! Old-school Napa: Stony Hill, for legendary chardonnay. For a laid-back vibe and to learn about organic viticulture: Frog's Leap. To pair wine and horsepower: Far Niente, where you can tour a historic winery, sip some great cabernet, and ogle a collection of classic cars. An expensive tour but worth it. Congrats on your wedding and have a wonderful trip! _______________________ New York, N.Y: A couple of girlfriends and I are planning a getaway weekend to Napa/Sonoma. Are there any special spas you'd recommend? Jennifer Paull: Time for pampering! If you're ready to splurge, check the offerings at the Spa at Villagio and the Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn & Spa. Look for special Wine Country treatments, like grape-seed scrubs, that you might not easily find at home. To fully embrace the grape, hit the Kenwood Inn & Spa, which uses the Caudal?e line of products, all based on grape-seed extracts. Kenwood also has a particularly lovely setting; if you sign up for one of the "wine barrel baths" you can soak while gazing at vineyards. _______________________ Louisville, Ky.: My husband and I will be spending a few days in the Bay Area wine country and while we're looking forward to the wineries, we don't want to spend every day, all day in the tasting rooms. What other things are there to do besides drinking and eating? Jennifer Paull: For a real departure you could hit the Infineon Raceway in Sonoma—trade the sipping and swishing for the roar of the dragstrip. On most Wednesday nights in summer and fall they have amateur races on the dragstrip, so you could even get in on the action. For something tamer, check out the di Rosa Preserve, a neat 20th-century art collection and one of the Wine Country's best-kept secrets. Or stretch your legs and go for a hike up Mount St. Helena, near Calistoga. Another good hiking trail winds through Jack London State Historic Park near Glen Ellen—pack a picnic and a copy of "The Call of the Wild." If you'd like to get on the water, sign up for a canoe trip on the Russian River. You'll work up an appetite for more of that eating and drinking! _______________________ Charlotte, N.C.: My husband and I, along with another couple (ages 37-40) will be enjoying all that Sonoma and Napa Valley have to offer. We will be traveling in mid June and have petty much decided on what we like to do, with one acception. We'd like to dine at a fabulous Sonoma or Napa Valley restaurant. Other than French Laundry, what restaurants would you suggest for a deliciously memorable meal? Jennifer Paull: Sounds like an enviable trip! One restaurant that leaps to mind is Cyrus, in Healdsburg. Talk about luxury: the chef seems to try to fit in truffles and foie gras wherever possible. The dining room is quite formal but you can construct your multicourse tasting menu in any number of ways. And this is one place where you should have a cocktail, not just wine—the list is amazing. _______________________ Oceanside, N.Y.: My wife and I have three days to spend in the Paso Robles wine region in April. We like fine dining. What restaurants do you recommend? Are there inns that have restaurants and that offer fine accommodations? Jennifer Paull: The restaurant Artisan, which is relatively new, has been getting strong reviews for its homey yet sophisticated cooking. It's the kind of place that serves homemade ketchup with its fries. The space is quite polished, a more urban look that you'll usually find in Paso Robles. Your best bet for lodging may be the Hotel Cheval. While it doesn't have a special restaurant under the same roof, it is just a short walk from Paso's main square and many of its best places to eat. _______________________ Colville, Wash.: I'm planning a visit to Paso Robles in the spring. I'm looking for suggestions for accommodations, preferably in town, and also for recommended wineries to visit during a 2 day stay. Jennifer Paull: The Hotel Cheval, mentioned in the reply to Oceanside, is both handy and atmospheric. It's central, so you can stroll around Paso's downtown, and each room has a picture of a namesake racehorse. On Friday and Saturday nights, you can even get a free ride to a local restaurant in the inn's carriage drawn by a Belgian draft horse. One of the best bargains in town is the family-run Adelaide Inn. Although it's near a busy intersection, the rooms are quiet and well-equipped (coffeemakers, irons, hair dryers) for a very reasonable price. There's a definite east side / west side split to the local vineyards. To the east of the Salinas River are wide open spaces with more extreme temperatures; this area is known for chardonnay and cabernet sauvignon. Meridian Vineyards is a popular stop, especially since you can try and buy their reserve wines exclusively at the tasting room. Mountains rise up to the west, where you'll find some great red wines, especially zinfandel and syrah. Don't miss Tablas Creek, known for their Rhone varietal blends. On the tours, you can even graft a grapevine. This side also has a cult favorite: Justin Vineyards & Winery, which also has an on-site B&B. Sip the rich, complex red blends and you'll know what all the fuss is about. _______________________ Baltimore, Md.: My husband and I are traveling to wine country in April and plan to stay for approximately 5 days. There is so much to see in so little time. What are some places and features that can't be missed? Thank you Jennifer Paull: Hello—would you mind clarifying which area you'll be visiting? If you'll be in the Napa / Sonoma area, take a peek at the ideas posted for the honeymooning reader from Orlando. Travelers who are new to winetasting usually get a lot out of the tour at the Robert Mondavi winery in Oakville (Napa). Their operation is a very well-oiled machine. The other two big-name attractions nearby are Opus One (for bragging rights) and the small, historic Oakville Grocery, a perfect place to pick up a picnic lunch. If you'll be further south, check out my notes to the readers from Colville and Oceanside, just above, for a few possibilities. _______________________ Little Falls, N.J.: My husband and I are planning our first trip to Napa/Yountville in May. We will spend two and a half days there. Which wineries would you recommend that we visit on our first trip to Napa? Jennifer Paull: Yountville is a swell home base in Napa—you could eat at one of Thomas Keller's restaurants for practically every meal! Among the wineries, a trip to Stag's Leap Wine Cellars would be a good pick. This is the place that put the CA wine industry on the global map when its cabernet sauvignon won the Paris tasting competition of 1976. The winery is no-frills but you'll be tasting history. Drive up to Stony Hill Vineyard for another taste of history (chardonnay). If you're a fan of cabernet sauvignon, make a beeline for the Rutherford area, a short drive north from Yountville. The wineries here, like Beaulieu, focus on this particular varietal with outstanding results. You also can't escape the massive Francis Ford Coppola enterprise, now called Rubicon Estate. The tour of the property is quite a production, but the flagship blend is notably good. _______________________ Morristown, N.J.: Do you have a favorite wine country destination from which we could explore some vineyards and galleries? We've heard good things about St. Helena—are there any boutique hotels/b&bs you'd recommend? How about restaurants? Thanks you very much. Jennifer Paull: St. Helena is a neat place to stay (see my reply to the reader from Arlington, above) and its posh resort, Meadowood, is a wonderful getaway. But you mght also want to consider Healdsburg, in Sonoma. A handful of new restaurants, like the stellar Cyrus, hotels, and shops have made this a buzzing new hotspot. It's easy to reach lesser-known but excellent wineries in the Dry Creek and Alexander valleys from Healdsburg. Hotel Les Mars is the most opulent boutique hotel here—some would say over the top. The Honor Mansion is an especially welcoming spot; it's in a 19th century home and the staff is known for its warmth and attention. _______________________ Findlay, Ohio: My wife and I will be visiting the San Franciso area the very last week of May. I would like to spend a day or night visiting some wineries in the area. We do not anticipate spending a lot of money as we usually do not spend more than $10.00 for a bottle of wine. Do you have some suggestions for must visit wineries in the area? Jennifer Paull: I'm really glad you asked this—the overall impression is that the Wine Country is terribly expensive, but exploring the area on a budget can be done! Here are some tips: —Your hotel might distribute coupons for free or discounted tastings at nearby wineries, so don't forget to ask. —If you take the Winetasting 101 intro class at Copia in Napa, the fee is offset by a discount "passport" you'll get for local wineries. —The wineries in the Carneros region (closest to SF) sometimes have less-expensive fees than the tasting rooms of the big players up in Napa Valley. —There are still free tastings out there! A few include Frog's Leap and Kenwood Vineyards. —Hit the amazing local farmers' markets or casual bakeries / grocery stores for picnic fixings. Many wineries have beautiful outdoor picnic areas where you can have lunch. (Although etiquette means you should buy a bottle of wine from them.) _______________________ Redmond, Wash.: Hi, My husband, sister and her husband will be visiting the wine country of California on leap day weekend. We are staying in the town of Healdsburg and are interested in some advice on wineries to vist in the area that are unusual and fun. We've visited many of the well-known wineries in Napa Valley previously, so are interested in exploring some areas that are a little bit off the beaten track. Also would appreciate advice on restaurants and interesting sites. My brother-in-law is a fabulous amateur photographer so we are always on the look out for beautiful or unusual photo ops. Thanks! Jennifer Paull: Hi Redmond, have you ever been up to the Anderson Valley? Talk about an out-of-the-way place—it was so isolated that its main town, Boonville, once had a special lingo called Boontling! The towns you'll drive through are barely wide spots in the road, but you'll also find impressive wineries like Roederer Estate (for sparkling wines) and Navarro Vineyards, with a wide range of choices including gewurztraminer and pinot noir. _______________________ Yorktown Heights, N.Y.: We're planning to visit Sonoma/Napa from April 21-27--is that too long? Which B&B's would you recommend our staying at? Jennifer Paull: Well, that sounds heavenly to me—but I'm hardly objective! With a solid week, you can really explore the back roads, the farmers' markets, the local cheese shops, spend a few hours blissing out at a spa or picnicking, maybe catch a movie at the historic Sebastiani Theatre and then kick back with a Glariffee at the Swiss Hotel... whoops, I'm daydreaming. Besides the main drags down Napa and Sonoma valleys, take a couple of afternoons to drive along the Russian River or into the Alexander or Anderson valleys. You could split your time between Sonoma and Napa counties for the overnights. Besides the hotels and B&Bs I've recommended in other postings, check out the Gaige House Inn in Glen Ellen. This is an understated yet very elegant, relaxing B&B. But it's understandable that even wine buffs might not want to sip all the time. Take a look at my reply to the reader from Louisville for some other activity ideas. You could sign up with Napa Valley Bike Tours to pedal from vineyard to vineyard, or watch a cooking demonstration at the Culinary Institute of America in St. Helena. Also, check the schedule of the Napa Valley Opera House in case there's a good show during your stay. _______________________ Jennifer Paull: Thanks very much for your questions, everyone. I hope you all have a fantastic time on your trips—have an extra sip for me! And keep an eye out for our upcoming pocket-sized guide, In Focus California Wine Country, 1st edition, which will be in bookstores in April.

New Prize: New Zealand The best response we receive between March 1 and March 31, 2008, wins a five-night trip for two to New Zealand from ATS Tours. The prize includes round-trip airfare from Los Angeles International Airport to Auckland Airport, two nights' hotel in Auckland, three nights' hotel in Rotorua, an Auckland harbor dinner cruise, two full-day bus tours, airport transfers, and more. For more info: 888/423-9181, atstours.com. How to enter TrueStories@BudgetTravel.com or True Stories, Budget Travel, 530 Seventh Ave., New York, NY 10018. For a complete rundown of the contest guidelines, please see BudgetTravel.com/truestories. This month's winner! The winner of this month's prize is Christine Sacco of Wakefield, Mass. Her prize: a three-night trip to St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands, from Delta Vacations. While in Savannah, I was obsessed with visiting every site mentioned in John Berendt's Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. I was taking a photo of the town house owned by Lee Adler, the main character's archenemy, when an elderly gentleman (pictured at right, in glasses) stopped to sit on the stairs. As I explained to my husband why Adler was bitter toward Jim Williams, the gentleman perked up and said, "I hated the son of a bitch." He claimed to be Adler, but I was afraid he was pulling my leg--until I caught a glimpse of his mail. It was him! In some ways, it's better to get married without baggage Traveling to Dubrovnik, Croatia, for our wedding, my fiancée and I arrived on schedule, but our luggage--including the wedding dress, the bridesmaids' dresses, and my tuxedo--did not. We spent three days trying to locate our bags, but with just three days until the wedding, we had no choice but to replace everything. The people of Dubrovnik bent over backward to help. We found a beautiful wedding dress at the only bridal store in town and an excellent tailor who fitted my new suit and altered the bridesmaids' dresses. Our wedding went off without a hitch, and no one seemed to realize anything was amiss. Jason Kelly, New York, N.Y. She's gone and ruined the reputation of French waiters My girlfriend and I went to Europe with our friend Bobbi, whom we lovingly call Eeyore since hardly anything makes her smile. Even after a perfect lunch at a Paris café, Bobbi wasn't showing signs of happiness. She hates being photographed even more than smiling, so when I whipped out my camera, she said, "You'd better not take my picture!" Not missing a beat, the waiter stopped, leaned in, and gave her a big kiss--and me the perfect shot. Ruth Mitchell, Winston-Salem, N.C. Sure ain't the Easter Bunny For the holidays, my husband and I took our kids to Sunriver Resort in central Oregon. In the wee hours of the morning, we all awoke to the "festivities" of the couple next door. Our 4-year-old daughter must have fallen asleep with visions of Santa, because just after the man exclaimed his delight, she sat up in bed and said, "Daddy, is that Santa?" Kathleen McLeroy, Newberg, Ore. Ask him to paint your house During law school I clerked for a law firm in Saudi Arabia. One evening after work, I had plans to visit a friend. I walked outside and saw a car waiting. I told the driver where I wanted to go and asked if he'd take me. He was unresponsive, but I persisted. Eventually, he relented. He was reluctant to agree on a price, but in the Middle East you haggle for everything, so I insisted that he tell me his price--but he wouldn't. Frustrated, I finally decided to get in the car, knowing that I'd likely be ripped off. When we got there, I asked how much I owed. He shook his head. Confused, I asked again. "Look, this isn't a taxi, and I'm not a taxi driver," he replied. "I was just waiting outside of your compound to pick up my wife from work." Josh White, West Palm Beach, Fla. He's a bellhop? I was on a back street in Milan when I heard my name. I turned around and saw my father--with whom I hadn't spoken in two years--leaving a hotel and loading bags into a taxi. We hugged and cried, but we were both so shocked that we didn't say much. Back home, we reconnected, agreeing that such a chance encounter was a sign. Lisa Jacobson, Providence, R.I. It is very Rei Kawakubo I was prepared for the mosquitoes and the heat while at the Okavango Delta in Botswana, but not the gnats. On my first evening, I was swarmed. I spent most of the game walk flapping my arms and waving a handkerchief in front of my face. (I think the gnats were feasting on the DEET.) There was a six-hour walk the next day, so I searched my gear for a solution. Finally, I spied my camping towels inside their netted bags. The next morning, when the swarm appeared, I pulled the towel bag over my head--instant relief! Maybe I'll start a fashion trend. Donna Chauvet, Rockville, Md. "Je voudrais une photo de les coconuts, s'il vous plaît" In Moorea, there was a beautiful palm tree that leaned out over the lagoon. I went to take a photo, remembering two rules from photography classes: Use something to get a sense of scale, and if you use a person, always ask permission. So I approached the French couple lying beneath the tree and asked if I could take their picture. The man sat up and started screaming at me. I quickly realized why he was so angry--his companion was topless. Matt Klausner, North Aurora, Ill. The prodigal Samsonite While my husband and I were in Nova Scotia in 2002, his suitcase fell off the top of our vehicle, and we never located it. More than four and a half years later, the Nova Scotia police called: The suitcase had been found (my husband kept ID inside). Two days later, the bag arrived at our door--and remarkably, the contents were still in perfect condition. Carol Else, Lakewood, Wash. Look, it's Milli Vanilli! In Tahiti, our group was admiring our guide Mata's "swimsuit," so he offered to show us how to tie one. He used my husband, Mark, as his model. Mark was a good sport--but I was laughing so hard I could barely hold the camera steady. Hoku Gilbert, Kaneohe, Hawaii Nothing odd going on here A highlight of my trip to Vietnam was having clothes hand tailored in Hoi An. When I was measured, however, my two seamstresses couldn't stop giggling. When I picked up my order the following day, I persuaded them to try on my new duds. Alec Pleet, Odessa, Fla. You think Stella got her groove back all by herself? My sister got me to try scuba diving while we were at Breezes in Runaway Bay, Jamaica. During the introductory course at the resort, I asked our instructor if there were any great whites where we'd be diving, and he replied, "No, just great blacks." Paulette Mottl, Oconomowoc, Wis. Good for back, bad for tips My husband and I arrived at our hotel in London with three weeks' worth of luggage, including two large suitcases. We were assigned a room on the fourth floor, so we asked if there was an elevator. There wasn't, but the hotelier offered to bring up the bags. Within 30 seconds of delivering the first suitcase, he was magically back at our door with the other one. We wondered how he did it--until breakfast, when we met his identical twin. Joanne Raffel, Newark, Del. Prize Report Stacy Dungan won a Caribbean cruise from Disney Cruise Line for the trick photo she took of her son at a baseball game. "We had a wonderful time on the Disney Wonder," writes Stacy. "Our son loved the Oceaneer Lab, our daughter liked shopping in Nassau, and my husband and I enjoyed sitting outside on our veranda at night. Everything was smooth sailing!"

It's like a scene from 2 Days in Paris! My girlfriend and I had been dating for four months when we went on vacation to Paris. She is a French teacher, and I do not speak French. One day, my girlfriend decided to take a picture of a police car that was parked near our hotel. She was lining up the shot when an undercover police officer approached her. He was trying to tell her something, and she was refusing to listen to him. The conversation became heated, with both of them yelling loudly in French and using a lot of arm gestures. I had no clue what they were saying, but I knew it was not good. I tried to tell my girlfriend to just leave, but she kept arguing with the police officer. This went on for a while. Finally, the officer reached for his handcuffs and motioned for my girlfriend to turn around. At this point, I panicked, thinking that my girlfriend is going to jail, and I will have no way of knowing how to get her out. Selfishly, I also thought, "How am I going to get back to the airport if my girlfriend is in a French prison for breaking some weird law?" Luckily, I'm also a police officer and I had my I.D. with me. I showed the officer my police I.D. card. He turns to me and says in perfect English, "This crazy lady wants to take a picture of a police car and I keep trying to tell her that it is illegal." I told him that the crazy lady was my girlfriend and that she would not take a picture of the police car if we could just go on our way. He started laughing and we started talking about police work. He ended up giving us a tour of the police station. My girlfriend never did get the opportunity to photograph the police car. Yet we survived the remainder of the trip, and we've been happily married for the past six years. Jack One trip, but two breakups (...if you don't count the other breakup) My then-boyfriend and I booked a week in Belize several months in advance. Then we broke up, and I was stuck with non-refundable reservations. I asked a well-traveled, VERY platonic male friend to go with me and split the cost. Two months before the trip, I started dating another man, who became highly jealous of my planned trip with my friend. To alleviate any fears, I introduced them. Once in Belize, my friend turned out not to be interested in visiting any of the nightclubs or happy hours. Although he was a certified diver and brought his equipment, he refused to go dive with me on the one clear day we had. Meanwhile, when I called my boyfriend back home, he continually accused me of "getting with" my platonic friend. Whatever! The trip soon became the longest week of my life. I came home sunburned, mosquito-bitten, and tired of my "friend." My new guy picked me up at the airport and, when I showed him a digital photo of a message I'd written in the sand that said "I miss you," he accused me of having written it for someone else! We didn't last long after that, and I have never traveled with my friend since. Kelly He's the ultimate passive-aggressive The guy I was going out with for almost two years and my two sons (ages 19 and 23) took a multi-city road trip. The first night I asked him where his C-PAP machine was. (He needs it to treat his apnea, a sleeping disorder.) Ohh...he had forgot it. We were all sleeping in one room. The snoring was soooo bad that the boys went out in the car at 2 a.m. in Baltimore, Md., to get some sleep. I slept on the bathroom floor. In D.C., he got his own room for one night. We couldn't sleep in Philly or New York City either, and he was too cheap to buy us a separate room. We broke up soon after I got back. But I'd like to visit those cities again with a nicer more considerate guy!! Sue Rage against the machine Ten months ago, my boyfriend and I took a spring break trip to Las Vegas. One evening after dinner, we decided to go fill up our gas tank and take in the lights on the Strip. Like most men, my boyfriend is very much into the electronic gadgets. So, to find a gas station, he needs to turn on his navigation system to look for one. In this case, it was absurd, because the station we were heading to was one we had already used and knew where it was. But for some reason that evening, his gadget couldn't find the station we wanted to go to. It kept telling him to make a U-turn that took us away from the station. He knew "she" (the female voice of the GPS device) was wrong, but wouldn't admit it. When I started telling him to just drive down the street, and "in about a mile, we will be there", he said, "I don't know of any gas station down that way!" He got upset. I got upset. We argued over why he prefers to listen to that "automated female voice" instead of listening to me. And to tell you the truth, at other times on our trips, I just wanted "that woman" to shut up. When we finally got to the gas station, I got out of the car and started to walk back to the hotel, which was about a couple miles away. It was in the middle of the night, and it took me about an hour and a half. We never said another word to each other except for "I am ready to go home." And that was the last time we talked to each other. Huong The lost scene from National Lampoon's European Vacation My boyfriend Chris, and I flew to Spain for his spring break one year. We thought we would spend 10 days living it up on a romantic road trip. During the first six hours, I collected a parking ticket and nearly lost our passenger side mirror after driving down a path I still swear was marked as a road. A long night had just begun. You see, the week we chose just happened to be Semana Santa (Holy Week). That translates to lots of people making their annual pilgrimage to Madrid, and several of the other large cities in Spain, to participate in the rituals and traditions surrounding this holiday. This, in turn, wreaked havoc on our maps we had printed from a website because the majority of the roads were closed for processionals, and all the other roads were now crammed with the overflow of traffic. Trying to figure out the detours led us to several roundabouts (a.k.a., traffic circles) with no definitive lanes and cars driving five deep. Chris would panic each time and take whatever first exit he could squeeze out of without knowing where he was going. Several times we found ourselves on toll roads leading out of the city. We kept driving in circles getting trapped in roundabouts only to maneuver out onto yet another toll road. By now, not only were we running low on gas, but we were also in need of an ATM since we were running low on euros. At the gas station, I was lucky to find a customer who spoke great English. He gave us some modified directions. We got back on the road, and circled around the same roundabouts again. At this point I was in tears and seconds away from strangling someone. I kept asking if we could just pull into the first hotel/hostel we see and get a room for any price. Chris wouldn't hear of it. He was determined to stay at the hostel he had booked, convinced that an affordable alternative would be hard to find. Eventually, we reached the hostel. We swore we would never have anything to do with each other once we were back in the U.S.A. It took a couple of days in Madrid for us to cool off. By the time we began the drive south to Grenada (at this point, we knew exactly how to get out of Madrid far too well), the beautiful smell of springtime flowers and oranges in the countryside melted our hearts. Thankfully, we were able to salvage things, and we married each other a year ago. Marissa The anti-honeymoon Years ago, me and my wife had celebrated our honeymoon with a 12-day trip to Mexico. I should have known we were in for a rough ride when I took us to the wrong airport (San Fransisco). We then got in a cab, doing over 100 miles per hour to get to the correct airport (Oakland). We made the plane with a minute to spare. Good, right? Wrong! I had left my wife's luggage at the other airport. Imagine the fight we had after we landed. No make-up, no clothes. Ouch! From there, we were in our hotel, and I was informed that our travel agent had booked the wrong days. We argued with them for two days, and they eventually said the hotel had made a mistake and that our reservation was fine. The last straw was we were getting ready to leave and I thought I could get money from an ATM. But there weren't any ATMs at the resort. I had to make friends with another traveler, who let me borrow money to get a cab ride to the airport. I have never been so happy to be home. As my wife said, "After that start to our marriage, it only can get better." True to her word, 15 years later we are happily married. Matt "But, honey, we've only been to four museums today" I fell in love while on vacation in the Caribbean. He was an Australian sailor (LOVE the accent), and the first mate on my Windjammer cruise. For several months, we met up in various ports. Eventually, we planned to meet in Amsterdam for a trip. At first, everything was great. He met me at the train station. He took me to a hotel room so we could have some "alone time" before heading back to his friend's boat. But slowly, everything turned into a fight. I'm an improviser, Dan's a planner. He kept asking me, where did I want to go, what did I want to see, when/where/what should we eat. I was like, whoa, slow down! When I travel, I like just BEING someplace and experiencing that place. Sure, I would love to go to the Van Gogh Museum, but I don't have a checklist of things to do! I just want to hang out and experience the Netherlands!! For ten days, we went back and forth, with him needing a plan for each day, while I just wanted to relax. Finally, he said, "Maybe you should have used the money you spent on your ticket here for counseling instead." I was like, EXCUSE ME?! The icing on the cake was that he found no problem attempting to be intimate after making such a proclamation. We broke up. Lesson learned: Make sure you have similar expectations when you're traveling with someone else before you commit. (I guess the same theory applies to relationships as well). I'm off to Costa Rica next month for a solo surfing adventure and I can't wait! Erin Dumpsville, Germany It was 1995, and my first trip to Europe. My boyfriend had lived in West Germany for four years, and we were returning to visit his friends and do some sightseeing (or so I thought). I knew some very basic German phrases but had been reassured that most Germans knew English. On our first night there, we went to a birthday party for one of his friends. He was the only person I knew and kept abandoning me and very few people there spoke English (or at least, would acknowledge that they knew English). The rest of the trip involved long nights inside pubs, and Keith enjoying tales from past escapades with these friends (all the while speaking German). One night, Keith's friend suggested that just the guys go out, leaving me at home with his wife, who excused herself to her room to read all evening and then retired at 9 p.m. The boys arrived back very early the next morning. They then went to a country pub down the road where they continued drinking grappe until they passed out. I saw very little of Germany, visited one castle. Never saw any art work, museum, etc...We did not break up right after that trip, but I never returned to Europe with him. Sarah "It's not you, it's me... I mean, really, it's me." One summer, my boyfriend suggested that we take a road trip from our hometown in Wisconsin to the East Coast and then loop back again. We had a few weeks off, so the trip planned was to be one of leisure, with no rushing. Prior to leaving, we had discussed certain sites we wanted to see. While on our way and entering Washington, D.C., my boyfriend became agitated because he had taken the wrong turn(s) and we had become lost. He refused to pull over and look at a map or stop at a gas station. By the time we were in the heart of the city, he was so frustrated and angry—as if getting lost were somehow my fault. He expressed that this was the worst trip he had ever been on and that I could get out of the car. I did get out of the car, and he promptly took out my suitcase and duffel bag and drove away leaving me in downtown D.C.! I was certain that he was coming back, probably just going around the block to cool off. I waited there for a little while. But he didn't come back. I had never been to D.C. before and was disoriented. I couldn't believe that someone would leave their girlfriend of three years on the street in another state. I went inside the nearest hotel (fortunately for me it was right behind me, the Hotel Washington). The hotel personnel were very nice. One of the doormen came to my aid, carrying my bags into the lobby. When I asked him if there was a free shuttle to the airport, he said there wouldn't be one until the next morning. I told him what had happened and began to cry, just sobbing and sobbing (very embarrassing, to say the least). He was so kind to me. He suggested I spend the night, have supper on the top floor of the hotel so that I could see the sky line at night and head to the airport the next morning. I took his advice. As I was heading toward the elevator with my suitcase and my "Packer" duffel bag, a man held the elevator door for me and said "Anyone who is a Packer fan is a friend of mine," (corny I know, but this really happened!) It made me feel slightly better. So I went to my room and later went to dinner in the hotel's dining room. The bellman was right, the skyline was really beautiful. And the next day, since my flight wasn't leaving until later in the afternoon, I ended up walking over to the Smithsonian, which needless to say was a treat in itself. The relationship, well that was certainly over with. I count myself lucky. Lucky that I didn't invest any more of my time with someone who would do something like that to another person. Lucky that I got to turn adversity into an adventure, and, most of all I guess, thankful for the people along the way who were total strangers yet were so kind to me. Stacie Maybe the French aren't so bad after all In the late 1980s, my boyfriend at the time traveled with me to France for our first international trip together. We had a wonderful week in Paris. Then we went to the Loire Valley. We were on our way to Beaune from there, traveling over the mountains in France, with me navigating. Well, things didn't go well with the navigating and the driving, and by the time we got to our destination, we were no longer talking. We had booked a stay in a fabulous hotel in Beaune called Le Cep. They were known for the great service at their restaurant. So, here we are, sitting in the restaurant. Four waiters arrive with all of our dishes, and holding the covers over the dishes, and they all raise them at the same time. Voila!! It was fabulous!! It is just too bad we still weren't talking too each other. What a waste! I swore that I would never see him again once we got home. But then I married him, and there you go! We have been to Europe many times since! Joan

In 2005, our confessor, who would prefer to remain anonymous, worked on the production team of a TV show about backpacking. Lodging lies The crews I worked with hardly ever slept in the places shown on television. Chances are, a presenter you see bedding down for a night in a cheap hostel was out of there once the camera switched off. However, one time, when a five-star hotel in the Caribbean offered to let the crew stay for free (provided that we feature the property), we managed to work the hotel into the program even though the presenter was supposed to be on a backpacker's budget. The diva Out of the five hosts I worked with, four were lovely. The other one let the position go to her head. Although the budget was tight, she insisted on taking her child and nanny along on the company dime for a shoot in Europe, demanded a separate apartment, and constantly disrupted production schedules. No serendipity Though it may appear otherwise in the final edit, we never simply stumbled across colorful locals while taping a show. Everything was planned weeks or months in advance. A researcher gave the producer interesting stories and contact info for people to feature on the show. The producer visited the area ahead of time to verify that locations and interviews were viable. We were known to stage festivals if they weren't taking place at the right time--we even faked an eating contest in Texas this way. In my experience, the presenters rarely had any input until they turned up for the shoot. They were supposed to make viewers believe their adventures were wonderful coincidences. Amateur hour Just because you travel doesn't mean you can be a TV host. And yet, we received tons of audition tapes from people who thought they had the goods. Those videos gathered dust in a box--until the crew would take them out for a laugh. One guy sent numerous tapes of his rowdy holidays with his friends. My favorite was his trip to a beer festival, when he slurred through "expert" opinions on all the drinks. Unopened mail The show's website claimed that it welcomed viewer letters and e-mails. The crew, however, couldn't have cared less. As far as I know, no one ever answered a viewer's complaint or responded to a question about how to book a certain restaurant. We made 12 programs a year, and by the time a show aired, it was ancient history to us. We had long moved on to other destinations.