Confessions of...A Cruise Ship Musician

By as told to Andrea Minarcek
March 25, 2011
Cruise Ship 1103
Courtesy <a href="http://mybt.budgettravel.com/_Norweigan-Cruise-Lines/photo/5743306/21864.html" target="_blank">walterpowers/myBudgetTravel</a>
It's not all Salty Dogs and sunsets for the folks working your favorite boat—take it from a former drummer in an on-board band.

Setting off for a summer job on an Alaskan cruise ship in 2007, Mike Minarcek had modest expectations: to meet a fewnice people, make a few bucks, and put his university music degree to work. He had no idea what he was in for.

For the Love of Disco
As a drummer for the main theater's scripted show, I played the same 10 songs nearly every night, one terrible medley after the next. Occasionally, though, I'd work one of the clubs, where we had more say in the set list. The passengers' preferred dance numbers—"Shout," "The Electric Slide"—would have been annoying under any other circumstance, but we were so happy to get a break from the theater show's monotony that we'd gladly take any old request.

A Boatful of Nudists Is Not as Sexy as You Might Think
For two weeks every summer, our cruise line hosted a nudists-only sail. Employees were offered the option to skip it and stay over at a hotel in Seattle instead. My curiosity got the better of me, so I agreed to stay on the ship. Almost immediately, I regretted it—especially after one guy bumped into me. Not pleasant. It's just plain bizarre seeing people do ordinary things in the buff: playing shuffleboard, scoping out the dinner buffet, doing the "Y.M.C.A." But eventually, I got so used to all the nudity that it seemed weird when clothed passengers arrived.

Double-duty Blues
"All hands on deck" is more than a figure of speech. You can fit only so many employees on a ship, so we musicians often had to pitch in on random tasks. During safety demonstrations, we had to stand out on deck for hours wearing life jackets, pointing at exits, and smiling like chimps. Not surprisingly, the clothing-optional cruise came with even more unpleasant chores. I respect people's right to go nude if they want, but not when it means I have to Saran-wrap an entire theater full of seats to protect their bare bums. (I pity the late shift that had to remove it after the show.)

The Drum Set Takes the Cake
At the end of each cruise, passengers filed into the ship's ballroom for a fancy final dinner. The meal itself was wonderful, but for some reason, the powers that be decided to have the theater band "perform" during a portion of the dinner. Not play music, mind you—perform. In place of actual instruments, we were handed very large, cumbersome, fake instruments made of food. The trumpet was a strawberry on the end of a celery stalk (with gumdrop valves!), and my drum kit included a large wooden cake atop a tripod of bread sticks. Every week, we had to dance with these things on stage like idiots to a song so cheesy that I've blocked it from memory. That was always the night we musicians did our hardest drinking.

Cabin Fever
There's a reason the quality of cruise-ship entertainment has dwindled in recent years. Quite frankly, the schedule stinks. You work every day, mostly all day. Your living quarters are like matchboxes, and there's only one tiny room where employees are allowed to socialize. It's called the Officers' Bar, and it's perpetually filled with smoke and sticky with spilled booze. There are always loud parties going on in there because, honestly, you start to lose it a bit when you’ve been at sea a while. At least I did. —Interview by Andrea Minarcek (Mike’s sister)

 

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"We Wanted to Vacation With the Bears"

Some people celebrate a big occasion by heading to Paris for the weekend. Others book a Caribbean cruise. And then there's Harold and Ann Graff, a pair of retired schoolteachers who traveled from Flagstaff, Arizona, to northern Minnesota to spend Harold's 66th birthday at the million-acre Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness, hoping, praying, and angling to get up-close and personal with a big black bear. The Graffs, joined by their daughter Karyn Graff and her husband Scott Weston, have signed up for a four-day Black Bear Field Study Course with biologist Lynn Rogers. They've each paid $1,500 to stay in rustic accommodations and spend their days tracking, observing, and photographing a bunch of wild new friends. They're not the only ones. This week's Field Study course has also drawn Chris Seeley, 44, and her partner Geoff Mead, 61, who flew in from England after seeing a 2010 BBC production featuring Lynn called Bearwalker of the Northwoods. "Literally the minute the program was over, I went to my computer and booked a ticket," Chris says. Having seen photos of Lynn (the male Jane Goodall of Minnesota) leading tours right up to the dens, I've also come with the hope of (safely) getting within hugging distance of one of the cubs. It might sound crazy or even dangerous to some, but the trip appealed to me right off the bat. (I'm also the kind of person who coos over bear videos on YouTube.) I arrive at the lodge—a simple brown wooden cabin set at the bend of an L-shaped lake, about a five-hour drive from Minneapolis—and find Lynn standing on the deck, absentmindedly gazing up at the sky. He's tall and lean and, at the moment, is taming his shock of white hair with a black plastic comb. Before I can say hello, he turns and grins. "Have you met June?" he asks and points to the trees. I hear her before I see her. Branches creak. Twigs crack. Then she lets out a sound like a sputtering carburetor. "Oh, she's saying hello!" Lynn exclaims. That she is. June the bear is peering down at me from 30 feet in the air, where she's clinging to the trunk of a thin pine. My stomach flips in fear. Lynn pats my back and points again, to a lower section of the tree. It's only then that I notice three chubby cubs, attached like fluffy, furry suction cups to the trunk. One of them is climbing slowly up to his mother, stretching his little front paws first and then scooching his back legs up like an inchworm. It's too much. I let out the same delighted squeal I used on Christmas morning when I was 3. Lynn grins. He knows he's got me now. At 72, Lynn emanates a surprisingly mischievous, schoolboy air. His slow drawl and booming laugh bring to mind The Dude, Jeff Bridges's famously laid-back character in The Big Lebowski (minus the pot-smoking, plus a Ph.D.). Karyn and Scott—who run a tae kwon do studio in Pittsburgh and have taken the course once already—arrive and greet June by name. "I don't know anywhere else you can have this kind of interaction with bears," Karyn says. "If you only live once, how do you really want to spend your money and time? This is priceless." By nightfall, the lodge's deck is swarming with bears. Everyone crowds into the living room and watches as two big males—each easily 500 pounds or more—vacuum up mixed nuts, dates, and sunflower seeds in a trough just outside a set of tall bay windows. "You always hear that feeding bears makes them lazy or that they'll forget how to forage naturally," Lynn tells me, as he jots down observations in a notebook. "But that's nonsense. Even with these feeding stations here, we track the bears and see that they still prefer to forage for ants when they can. This is just to supplement their diet." The practice is controversial, but Lynn says complaints about bears digging in locals' trash cans dropped after he started feeding them. That night, my fear gives way to awe as I watch a male dine at the trough. His head is as big as a boulder, stuck on the end of a couch-size mass. I climb up onto the cushioned window seat to get a closer look and soon fall asleep there, with my head resting against the glass.  Story continued on second page... I wake up before sunrise at the sound of a loon calling, and take the opportunity to make use of one of the camp's canoes. As I paddle the lake, the sun rises and slowly filters light across the water. That afternoon, and every afternoon for the next few days, we hike a few easy miles into the woods to track the dozen or so bears and cubs that Lynn has collared. Reminding us to keep our distance until the animals recognize him, Lynn steps ahead and calls, "It's me, bear, it's me." In the woods, far away from the lodge, the bears are more cautious, but when it's apparent we don't intend to do anything more than observe them, they lose interest and go on about their business. That's when it gets fun. I find a spot to sit on the carpet of sweet fern and spend whole afternoons watching a mom nurse her three cubs. It's enthralling. At one point, one of the cubs crawls so close, I can't resist. I put my hand out to see what he'll do, and he leans in a bit more—just as curious as I am. I touch his fur for an instant and am shocked by how soft and downy it is—a sensation I'll never forget.   SEE MORE POPULAR CONTENT: 16 Awe-Inspiring American Monuments 30 Spectacular Images of Our Nation's Parks How to Score Tickets to the 2012 Summer Olympics 15 Places Every Kid Should See Before 15

6 Made-to-Squish Items That Are Perfect for Travel

Water BottleA cut above its bulky, hard-plastic competition, Vapur's 14-ounce, BPA-free Anti-Bottle stands upright when full and collapses to about the size of a ChapStick tube when empty. Bonus: These sturdy, stain-resistant canteens are freezer- and (top-rack) dishwasher-safe. vapur.us, $16 for two. MapNothing screams tourist like awkwardly wrestling a paper street guide in public. Rand McNally's 7.5" x 11.5" microfiber fabMAPS for 20 U.S. destinations provide tear-proof, waterproof toughness and incomparable ease of use. Simply unfurl, scrunch up, and repeat-no folding necessary. amazon.com, $6. ToteWhen it comes to choosing a carry-on, functionality comes first-but that doesn't mean you want to haul the same heavy-duty bag on your entire trip. Enter Riesenthel's sling-shaped Mini Maxi Ladyshopper, a surprisingly polished purse that comes in eight crisp colors and folds out of a flat, 6" pouch. touchofeurope.net, $19. Rain JacketConsider this hooded nylon Pack Windbreaker from SCOTTE-VEST a triple-threat travel pick. Beyond warding off bad weather, it packs 17 specialized pockets, including gadget holders with clear, touchscreen-friendly panels. The coat also folds into an 8" x 11" portable pillow. scottevest.com, $75. KeyboardTired of tapping out e-mails on a netbook's tiny keys? The 17.5" inland Pro Foldable Black USB Keyboard weighs just under a pound, rolls up to roughly the size of a soda can, and withstands most spills, thanks to its rugged, water-resistant silicone. Take that, tray-table turbulence. amazon.com, $20. Multitasking TeddyLike Superman in a phone booth, Frédéric Perigot's Bear Tote Bag transforms in an instant to solve two crucial travel problems. In stuffed-animal form, it distracts a fussy kid who is tired of his other toys; unpacked to form a 13.5" x 17.5" nylon tote, it's a lightweight way to transport a surplus of souvenirs. aplusrstore.com, $36.

Why You Need to Know What an Izakaya Is

For a long time, sushi and tempura were the only Japanese foods North Americans were familiar with," says Toronto-based chef Masaru Ogasawara. "But in Japan, izakayas are much more popular. They're where locals all go after work to sip beer and share appetizers with friends." A word that roughly translates to mean a sake shop where you can sit down and have a bite, izakayas are informal Japanese tapas joints where plates are meant to be passed and the boisterous vibe recalls happy hour—whatever the hour. Over the past year, more than a dozen izakayas have opened across North America—from Washington, D.C., to San Francisco—expanding our otherwise narrow impression of prim Japanese cuisine into something authentically and awesomely chaotic. Ogasawara is the head chef and manager at Guu Toronto, a 63-seat izakaya that's been drawing serious crowds since it opened a year ago. Part of Guu's appeal, says Elaine Kwok, a Toronto native who reviewed the restaurant for Yelp, comes from its foreign feeling. Upon entering, guests are greeted with hot towels and a cheerful hello (irasshaimase!) from the almost entirely Japanese staff. Guu's 4,000-square-foot room is decorated with retro posters advertising tobacco, miso, and rice. Diners squeeze around communal tables made of reclaimed local wood, order pints of Sapporo on tap, and select from 45 items on the menu, including grilled black cod with miso, fried pumpkin croquettes, and marinated jellyfish. "Technically, you're not traveling anywhere when you go there," Kwok says, "but you'll feel like you're in another world." Guu opened its second Toronto location on Bloor Street in March. guu-izakaya.com, black cod $10, pint of Sapporo $5, no reservations.  

How to Score Tickets to the 2012 Summer Olympics

The London Olympic Games don't kick off until July 27th, 2012, but this spring is the time to start your trip planning. Here, we answer the six most frequently asked questions about attending the Games, on everything from purchasing tickets for Olympic events to finding the most convenient and affordable accommodations, booking airfare, and navigating London's public transportation system. The best surprise? Catching all the action in person is a lot more affordable—and a lot less stressful—than you might think. On your marks...   Related: Browse our favorite budget hotels in London.   Can I afford to go to the Olympics? Let's face it—the Olympics aren't cheap. The Games only occur every four years and demand is high. That said, with some careful planning you can keep costs down. To give you an idea of how much to budget, here are the ticket costs for some sample events at their face-value starting prices. Opening and closing ceremony tickets start at $32 and go all the way up to $3,200. Prices vary widely depending on the event—and, more importantly, on when you go. You can find $32 tickets to all sports during their qualifying or preliminary rounds, but once the events progress to medal rounds, prices start climbing. The cheapest seats to medal-round events run between $48 and $104 each, depending on the sport. Prices for the medal rounds in gymnastics and swimming, for instance, start at $80, while the starting price for medal rounds in tennis are $56 for bronze and $104 for the gold and silver rounds. (Download this PDF for the lowdown on events and prices.) The good news is that spectators will receive free passes to London's public transportation system, including the Tube and all buses, to use on the day of their ticketed Olympic event. As for flight and accommodation costs, airlines don't release plane ticket prices until about a year before the event, so wait until this summer to check for ballpark costs. Hotel rates are easier to predict: A recent study by the market research firm Rubicon predicts that accommodation prices in London "will more than double" during the Games. That news may not sound promising, but it's good to know up front, so you can factor it into your budget.   How hard is it, exactly, to get tickets? In a word, it's complicated. There are essentially three different options: You can book them as part of a travel package, enter an official ticket lottery, or buy them from a broker. Read on for details on each option. (1) Book them as part of a hotel package Within the U.S., only one company is authorized to sell hotel packages that include guaranteed tickets: CoSport. Rates for its hospitality packages have not yet been announced, but it's expected that the packages will run between two and six nights and include accommodations, breakfasts, management, and other services. Register online now for detailed information on sample hospitality itineraries and costs. CoSport's packages will go on sale on March 30, 2011 (877/457-4647). (2) Enter a lottery to win individual tickets at face value pricesCoSport, again, is the official ticket source for Americans. Tickets sold through the CoSport website include a small handling fee of 20 percent or less, so keep in mind that they will be more expensive than the prices listed on the official London 2012 website. You can enter the ticket-request lottery, which will start on March 15, 2011, through CoSport. Applications close by April 22, 2011. Your chances of receiving tickets are just as strong whether you apply early or late during this period. On your application, you select the sporting events you're interested in attending and designate the specific price you want to pay. If tickets to the price category you select are unavailable, then CoSport will next attempt to give you tickets to a lower-priced category; if tickets in that category are also sold out, CoSport will check for tickets in higher-priced categories and then contact you to gauge your interest in buying them. The lowest-priced tickets for the highest-profile events will be the most sought after, so you can boost your odds of triumphing in the lottery by requesting tickets to a lower-profile event—or by being willing to splurge. The maximum number of tickets you can apply for in each request is 48, though you can submit multiple requests. Applicants will receive an e-mail from CoSport in mid-May to remind them to check their CoSport account online to see if their ticket requests were successful. At that time, applicants will be obligated to purchase any tickets that have been set aside for them. Only Visa credit and debit cards, electronic checks, and wire transfers can be used to purchase Olympic tickets. If you are unsuccessful in this lottery round, don't give up: An additional lottery round may very well be announced at a later date.  (3) Purchase individual tickets at marked-up pricesPlan B is to use a broker, such as Ticket City (800/880-8886), which announced plans on its website to obtain London Olympic tickets and resell them in advance of the Games, likely at significantly marked-up prices. These tickets will probably become available for purchase sometime in June 2011. A note of caution, however: While buying tickets through brokers is not illegal, it is not always a safe bet. A number of Olympic scams have popped up in recent years with third-party organizations trying to pass themselves off as licensed ticket brokers. The International Olympic Committee has been trying to crack down on these operations—but not always successfully. A warning on the official Team USA website, for instance, points out that CoSport is "the only authorized ticket reseller to sell individual event tickets" and cautions spectators to "please be aware that other, unauthorized entities or bogus websites may purport to have Olympic tickets for sale; however, you can only be certain that Olympic tickets are authentic if they are purchased through CoSport."   Related: Royal wedding-themed vacations   What events should I go to? There are 39 categories of sports to choose from, such as gymnastics and wrestling. (You can download a PDF for details on all the events and prices by clicking this link.) The most popular events are the opening and closing ceremonies, swimming, diving, and women's gymnastics. Your best bet is to nab tickets for track-and-field events, such as the men's 100-meters final. Seats are comparatively easy to come by for track and field, given the large size of the new Olympic Stadium in eastern London (80,000 seats) and the high frequency of track-and-field events, with 47 medal events from August 3 to 12. Boost your chances at nabbing tickets even more by requesting them for the early rounds of competition, instead of the sessions when medals will be awarded. Even watching a less glamorous round of preliminary contests live in London (starting at $32 a seat, depending on the sport) will still be more thrilling than watching an Olympic sports event on TV at home.   How on earth am I going to get around London? Will it be a madhouse? Don't stress: Navigating London is less intimidating than you might expect. Even though the city's transportation system will be faced with shuttling hundreds of thousands of additional passengers, the bulk of events will take place adjacent to rail and subway stations. There's no need to shell out for expensive taxis when you can take the well-connected public transit options. Spectators with tickets for sporting events in London will receive a complimentary Games Travelcard, which will entitle them to utilize the city's rail and bus networks on the day of events for no extra charge. Finally, to disperse crowds, many events will take place outside of the confines of the Olympic Park, which is in Stratford, East London, about six miles east of Buckingham Palace. Wembley Stadium, in Northwest London, for instance, will host many of the soccer events, while Earls Court will host volleyball competitions. Not only does this strategy help to control traffic, but it'll also give spectators the chance to explore different parts of London. After all, the Olympics may be the main draw, but the host city's got a lot to offer, too.   Related: search editor-vetted travel deals to Europe   What's your best advice for booking a hotel? Most of the Games will be held in greater London. The International Olympics Committee has reportedly called dibs on 40,000 of the city's 120,000 hotel rooms, so rooms will likely be scarce. That said, it's best to start searching for hotels as soon as possible. Your favorite online travel agency may not be set up to accept reservations that far in the future, so you should contact hotel chains directly once you have your confirmed tickets; by calling directly, you will be able to make reservations at many hotels. Buying a hotel package will typically be easier, though more expensive, than booking lodging on your own. For Americans, the broadest inventory for packages is offered by Cartan Tours (800/818-1998). Packages are already available for booking and include accommodations, breakfasts, public transportation, and other services. There are seven-day packages, from $4,395 per person, and 10-day packages, from $6,095 per person. You can cut your costs by staying outside of the pricey downtown in a neighborhood linked by public transportation—which you can ride for free on the day of your ticketed event with your complimentary Games Travelcard. Consider finding a hotel, an inn, a B&amp;B, or an apartment in a suburb such as Wimbledon or Wembley, which are near Olympic venues. For a greater list of serviced suburbs, check London's official public transport site. The least expensive option is to skip London altogether and instead visit a cohost city that isn't drawing as many visitors, such as Manchester (for soccer matches); Hadleigh Farm, Essex (for mountain biking); and Weymouth and Portland, Dorset (for sailing). At generally cheaper rates than hotels, some private homes will be offered for rent through traditional travel agents, while others will be rented out via online sites like Homeaway and VBRO (before you book, check out our guide to vacation rentals).   I have my tickets and my hotel. Now what about booking a flight? Most airlines generally release ticket availability about 330 days in advance of departure, so set your calendar to book a seat in summer 2011. The early bird will likely get the best fares.   See more popular content: 15 Places Your Kids Should See Before 15 Our 10 Favorite Cherry Blossom Festivals The Ultimate Packing Guide 10 Most Beautiful Waterfalls