Themed Cruises for All

The Lowdown New laws banning heavy fuels will bar big ocean liners from Antarctica starting August 1. Smaller, more ecofriendly vessels will still be allowed to make the trip, but ticket prices will likely top $10,000—more than twice what you'd pay on big ocean liners this season. Go Now! Antarctica's final big-ship cruising season is already in full swing. It began in November and runs through the end of February. Plus, if you book now, you may be able to squeeze onto a cruise in the late season—the only time of year when you can see baby penguins there. Go How? As of press time, there were still tickets on Holland America Line's 16-night South America and Antarctica sailing, departing from Valparaiso, Chile, on December 20 (hollandamerica.com, from $1,999). Similarly, Princess Cruises has a 16-night sailing from Buenos Aires along the Antarctic Peninsula, with a stop at the penguin colonies on the Falkland Islands, departing January 9 (princess.com, from $2,795).

READERS' TOP QUESTIONS What should a novice know to avoid feeling like an idiot? Follow my five essentials and you'll blend right in: (1) Don't ever pay the brochure price. You never spring for the hotel rack rate, right? Cruising is the same. The list price in the catalog is there mostly to make all those promotions seem like better deals. If you search in the right spots, you're guaranteed to do better. (2) It's a ship, not a boat. There's plenty of nautical lingo you can ignore, but calling an ocean liner a boat will get you pegged as an ignorant landlubber every time. (3) Wear whatever you want—until 6 p.m. It's fine to go casual to a buffet, but at any other type of restaurant, men should swap the Hawaiian shirt for a button-down and blazer, the swim trunks for slacks, and the flip-flops for business-casual shoes. Women, the equivalent. (4) Passport, passport, passport! Many cruisers rarely leave the ship, what with all the restaurants, zip-line rides, casinos, lectures, and comedy shows. But if you ever do want to escape, one sure way to feel like a rube is to get stuck on board. To disembark at most ports, you'll need an international ID. (5) All mandatory costs (food and lodging) are paid for up front. "It's possible to get by without spending a nickel during the trip," says Carolyn Spencer Brown, editor in chief of cruisecritic.com. But it will be a miracle if you do. Cruise lines are masterful at making all those "optionals" (spa treatments, margaritas, shore excursions) seem too enticing to pass up. So plan ahead to avoid any unpleasant surprises with the purser. How can I get the best deal? While many travel agents have been battered by the advent of online booking sites, they still reign supreme when it comes to cruising. Real-live agents are paid commissions by the cruise lines, so you won't pay a cent for their help, and they'll usually offer more insight and personalized advice than your computer. "Look for an agent who cruises a lot, really knows the ships, and can figure out which is right for you," says Paul Motter, cruisemates.com editor. When you do find agents that appeal to you, don't hesitate to test them out with a trick question. For example: Do they foresee any problems if your child isn't potty trained? (Kids in swim diapers aren't allowed in cruise-ship pools. Ever.) When is the best time to buy? You may have heard that the cruise industry's much-touted "wave season," which runs from January to March, is the optimal time, but really that's just when agencies sell the most cruises, not necessarily when travelers get the best deals. If you really want to save, opt for one of two tactics: Book really early or really late. Six or more months in advance, cruise lines try to fill up cabins by offering two-for-one deals, free airfare, and other promos. But you can also land a discount if you wait until the last minute, somewhere between two to six weeks prior. Last fall, for instance, the price of a seven-day Princess Cruises trip to the Caribbean was slashed from $649 to $499 per person. Keep in mind, though, that last-minute deals are usually only found for off-season trips: winter in Europe, summer and fall in the Caribbean, and spring and autumn in Alaska. Finally, if you're eager to sail on a hot new ship, patience goes a long way: Cabins that went for nearly $1,500 last winter on Royal Caribbean's new Oasis of the Seas are now available for less than $1,000. How much should I budget for extras? The reality is that cruises can (and will) nick you at every turn. How much is up to you. Spending an extra $50 per person per day is fairly average, and it's easy to drop a whole lot more. "The major extra is alcohol," says Brian David Bruns, who wrote about his year working as a cruise waiter in Cruise Confidential (travelerstales.com, $15). "We were always puzzled by passengers who stayed on board drinking $6 Coronas when they could buy them for a buck apiece at a bar in port." Another way to save: Ask a friendly crew member to tell you about excursions you can book on the spot in port. They generally cost half of what the cruise line charges. Finally, even though gratuities are normally added to your bill—usually $10 to $15 per person per day—it is possible to change the amount. The only caveat: You'll have to endure a potentially awkward face-to-face with a staffer to detail why the service didn't stack up. Which cruise line offers the best value? Again, it all comes back to optional costs. Cruisemates.com recently did the math comparing a luxury ship (Regent's Seven Seas Voyager) with a middle-market ship (Celebrity's Solstice) on nearly identical six-night Caribbean itineraries. At first glance, Regent cost far more: $3,365 vs. $1,895. But its all-inclusive bill covers airfare, alcohol, shore excursions, and tips. If you opted for those extras on Celebrity, your total expenses would be about the same, so it's arguable that Regent is a better value, given its top-notch restaurants and service. To compare more lines yourself, consult the comprehensive, 688-page Berlitz Complete Guide to Cruising & Cruise Ships (berlitzbooks.com, $24). OVER-THE-TOP AMENITY WATCH 3-D Movies! Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Seas is the line's first ship built with a 3-D movie theater. Guitars! Skip karaoke. Norwegian Cruise Line's Epic rents Gibson electric guitars for $10 a day. Skyscraper-size rides! The new water slide on Disney Cruise Line's Disney Dream drops a dizzying 765 feet.

While Hawaii might not leap to mind as a cowboy state, local paniolo have been herding cattle over these islands since the early 1800s. Far from the coconut bras and all-you-can-eat luaus dominating Maui's beaches, you'll find parts of this other Hawaii, one of rolling green ranchland and hulking volcanoes, where cowboys rub shoulders with foreign expats and hippy trustafarians, all of them carving out a little piece of tropical Eden they're eager to protect. Upcountry, as it's called, is insular and beautiful—and after a few days soaking up sun on the coast with my friend Lisa, it sounded like just the change of scene we were looking for. One morning we loaded up our rented Ford Mustang convertible and set off for the small seaside town of Paia. A refuge of stoners, surfers, and celebrities like Woody Harrelson and Willie Nelson, Paia sits right on Baldwin Avenue, which leads south into Upcountry. Before we blew out of town, we stopped at Mana Foods, a local Whole Foods–type health market (49 Baldwin Ave., manafoodsmaui.com), where we stocked up on salty plantain chips, organic papaya, a crisp green salad, and—under the scornful eye of the checkout girl—enough bottled water to reconstitute an iceberg. (It may have been over-zealous, but with visions of getting stranded Lost-style in our heads, we went overboard with provisions.) Once on the road in earnest, we began to climb almost immediately, rising 1,400 feet past rows of pineapple into the countryside around Makawao. The ranching community is at the heart of Maui's paniolo culture: The streets are dotted with Old West storefronts and tack shops, and the customers come off like a mix of John Wayne and Jack Johnson. Lisa and I skipped the saddle store and made a beeline instead for Market Fresh Bistro, one of Maui's newer culinary outposts. What the café lacks in creative naming, it makes up for in deliciousness, with farm-to-table salads and pasta that actually tastes like the fresh tomatoes it's tossed with (3620 Baldwin Ave. #102A, 808/572-4877, salads from $8). After lunch, we continued south along the Kula Highway, a two-lane, nearly empty road that could easily qualify as one of the world's most spectacular: We dipped under blooming jacaranda trees and zipped past cattle ranches and fields of colorful flowers (the source, it turns out, of most of Hawaii's leis). The 10,023-foot Haleakala volcano loomed ahead, and the Pacific glittered in our rearview. At Kekaulike Avenue, we veered off the highway and headed for Ali`i Kula Lavender farm (1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula, aliikulalavender.com), a 13.5-acre spread of purple-hued hills, with guided tours and an open-air patio where you can sit and enjoy lavender-infused everything, including scones and chocolate gelato. We strolled through 45 varieties of the plant, each with its own unique smell, but our visit was cut short by a drizzling rain that quickly morphed into a full-on monsoon. Lisa and I sprinted to the Mustang and headed for the nearest patch of blue sky. Nine miles later, we found it at the Surfing Goat Dairy (3651 Omaopio Rd., Kula, surfinggoatdairy.com). The 42-acre ranch is anchored by a wood hut painted red and green and strung with Christmas bulbs. Expats Thomas and Eva Kafsack traded in their relatively normal lives in Germany—he was a software engineer, she a high school language teacher—to run the place, raising goats and making cheese in the middle of the Pacific. Surfboards littered the lawn, and goats played on them as if they were a custom-designed Hawaiian jungle gym. I overheard Thomas—a smiling, Jerry Garcia look-alike—scold a few goats by name. The dairy produces more than 30 types of cheese, and Lisa and I sampled everything from a lightly salted chèvre to a sweet spreadable cheese flavored with apples, bananas, and curry. Eva accepted our compliments graciously but kept mostly to herself, a tendency I noticed in a lot of Upcountry folk: friendly, but not so much as to encourage sunburned tourists like us to stay for good. As day-trippers, we were welcome, but our rightful place was back down at the luau, far below—to which we happily returned, speeding down the hill.

M Resort Spa Casino, from $90 For travelers who'd prefer a little respite from the constant intensity of the Strip, the nearly 2-year-old M Resort, a 10-minute drive south, provides an appealingly low-key alternative. The understated design scheme is heavy on natural elements (wood floors, granite columns, amber-colored glass), and there's ample space in the 390 rooms (starting at an airy 550 square feet). The casino floor even has skylights overhead—a Vegas rarity. Still, guests won't feel too far afield, thanks to the floor-to-ceiling views of blinking Las Vegas Boulevard from most rooms. 12300 Las Vegas Blvd. S., Henderson, Nev., themresort.com, from $90. Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, from $79 As part of a recent $750 million expansion, this Vegas mainstay's two new towers more than double the hotel's capacity. The 490-room Paradise Tower most closely resembles the original Hard Rock, with dark damask wallpaper, moody lighting, and leather headboards, while the 374 white-walled suites of the HRH Tower—ranging from 700 to 4,300 square feet—cater to those who like to live a little larger. Cast-iron bathtubs-for-two and touch-panel jukeboxes stocked with over 2,000 songs round out the mogul-worthy touches. 4455 Paradise Rd., hardrockhotel.com, from $79 in the Paradise Tower, from $139 in the HRH Tower. El Cortez Cabana Suites, from $35 While the El Cortez Hotel & Casino has been an off-Strip staple since 1941, its newest five-story addition, opened in June 2009, has arrived just in time to handle the crowds now drawn to the up-and-coming Fremont East nightlife district. Consider the decor a fitting blend of rock and rococo: In the lobby, chinoiserie details mix with mid-century-inspired furniture; upstairs, the 64 guest rooms have Key-lime-colored walls, Lucite lamps, houndstooth ottomans, and white tufted-vinyl headboards that look like they could have been made from Nancy Sinatra's walkin' boots. 651 E. Ogden Ave., eccabana.com, from $35. Golden Nugget, from $69 There's nothing particularly flashy about the 500 rooms recently added to the 25-story Rush Tower annex of downtown Las Vegas's largest hotel—and that's precisely the point. Instead of piling on faux-glamorous touches, the extension aims for no-nonsense comfort (pillow-top mattresses, down comforters, rooms that are 20 percent larger) and a clean-lined, contemporary style that incorporates brown-leather couches, dark-wood accents, and marble baths. Of course, Vegas is nothing without a little splash, which the tower's bi-level infinity pool, adjacent to a 200,000-gallon shark tank, supplies in spades. 129 E. Fremont St., goldennugget.com, from $69.