Secret Hotels of Provence

No phone. No room service. No air-conditioning. No worries. Simple is the way to go on the French Polynesian islands of Tahiti, Moorea, and Huahine. All you really need is a thatched hut with friendly owners and a beachfront location. Jason Cochran, who wrote "Tahiti Unplugged" for the October issue of Budget Travel magazine, answered your questions on French Polynesia on Tuesday, October 5, 2004 at noon ET. Jason Cochran is Senior Editor of Budget Travel magazine. In addition to writing for publications such as Entertainment Weekly, The Village Voice, and Arena, he wrote questions for the first season of ABC's Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. He recently spent two years backpacking around the world, visiting six continents and over 40 countries. A current resident of New York City, he has also lived in Chicago, Atlanta, Key West, and Cape Town, South Africa. _______________________ Jason Cochran: Hello, everyone! No sense in writing a long-winded introduction--we're all here for one reason. Let's talk Tahiti! _______________________ Smyrna, GA: We are interested in a private bungalow with the ocean outside the door. Is there a reasonably priced option for this? Jason Cochran: Absolutely! The whole reason for my being here today, conducting this Live Talk, is to discuss the cover story of this month's Budget Travel magazine. The October 2004 cover, "Sweet Tahiti" is all about those accommodations in French Polynesia that are right on the ocean AND affordable. Not a single international hotel chain is listed--just private, family-owned pensions. The great thing about all of them is that the owners are fully aware that you've come to Tahiti for privacy and romance, and they leave you alone. In fact, because of the low room density at these places, you'll probably get a lot more privacy at a pension than you would at a big resort. The answer to your specific question--a reasonable option--depends greatly on which island you're thinking about visiting. The options listed in the article are grouped by island, and it covers three islands: Tahiti (the biggest one), Moorea, and Huahine. If I were to name a place with the ocean right "outside the door," I would probably say Hiti Moana Villa or Punatea Village on Tahiti; Fare Vaihere on Moorea; and Pension Mauarii on Huahine. At all of those, you can roll out of bed, walk down your steps, and find yourself right on the water. (Now, if you're asking about what's called an "overwater bungalow," which is built on pilings right over the coral reefs, hang on until later in the chat, when I'll address that type of accommodation.) _______________________ San Francisco, CA: We are taking the Tahitian Princess next month. Do we need to bring formal/dressy clothes? Jason Cochran: Yes, unless you want to feel under-dressed during the few formal dinners that will be thrown. We're not talking tuxedos--but a coat and tie would be sitting. But you only need an outfit or two. You're going to be in your bathing suits most of the time. _______________________ Cambridge, MN: Hi Jason! I would love to visit Tahiti. Could you tell me when is the best time of the year to visit? And when is the time of the year that Tahiti is overflowing with tourists? Or do I even need to worry about that? Thanks!! Jason Cochran: The weather patterns are a little different than what they are at home. February and March are very hot and humid--even the locals, who are presumably used to it, scramble for shade. High season is in July or August, when European vacationers flood in and the weather is splendid. Rain peaks from November to April. I prefer May or October, which have good weather but aren't that crowded. _______________________ Benicia, CA: We really like Tahiti and went to Moorea when the dollar was strong several years ago. We would like to go to go again; the small hotels from the article seem ideal, but the price for airline tickets make it too costly. How can the small hotels compete with the ones who are combining with airfare? With airfare from SF to LAX and then LAX to Papeete, the cost becomes higher than the expensive hotel packages. Are there consolidators for airfare to Tahiti? Jason Cochran: Because of the purchasing power wielded by the big hotels and the airlines, they can often come up with air-hotel deals that are unbeatable, in terms of price. But not always! Often, only the least expensive hotels are packaged with airfare at a price that beats the family-owned pensions. Which means that your hotel could end up being kind of gross. The fancy resorts most people dream about (overwater bungalows, clear waters, huge blue pool) are often much more expensive than the lowly two-star resorts that first grab shoppers' eyes with ultra-low prices. So if you're going to go the package route, do some serious research into the hotel first, just to make sure it's the kind of place (with the kind of peace and on the kind of clear waters) that you're dreaming of. You may find that it's still to your benefit to buy hotel and airfare separately. To shop for airfare alone, make sure to look for deals from the big player to Tahiti's capital city, Papeete: Air Tahiti Nui (airtahitinui-usa.com/). Sometimes, but not often, Qantasqantas.com/) sells codeshare sale flights there, too. Air New Zealand offers what's called the South Pacific Airpass, and if you're planning on visiting a few other countries or islands in the region (including Australia, New Zealand, the Cook Islands, and Fiji), you can often put together a multi-stop package at a substantial savings. Flight Cenflightcentre.com/) can often find flights for cheaper than anyone else, and it also offers a lowest-price guarantee. Other players to check: FlyCheap (800/FLY 1800flycheap.com/) and Air Tickets Direct (800/7; airticketsdirect.com/). Sometimes you can find a marked-down "Bula Fare" on Afic (airpacific.com/), fly Fiji from Los Angeles or Vancouver, and then change for a flight to Tahiti for a few hundred dollars. It takes more work and planning, but it's possible to save that way. If you're feeling really ambitious (and if you speak French), check in with a French travel agent before booking. Huge amounts of French people vacation and retire in Tahiti (it's like France's Hawaii), and so there are plenty of flights heading from Paris and other French cities all year round. Which means there are are plenty of deals to be had, if you have the language skills to buy them. _______________________ Mesa, AZ: Jason, Not a question but more of a warning: I visited Tahiti, Bora Bora and Moorea in 1996 and discovered that the sun is so powerful down there that you MUST wear a hat and drink plenty of bottled water or face island fever, which happened to me. I was quite miserable for the entire trip, so please take heed and also have plenty of bug spray to repel mosquito bites. Other than that, the scenery and people were wonderful experiences not to mention the snorkeling. Thanks. Jason Cochran: I love it when readers help me out! You're absolutely correct. The sun is a whopper in the South Pacific, so arrive prepared. Buy sunblock at home, since it's cheaper in America (nearly everything you'll buy in the islands has been imported all the way from France). And only drink bottled water, since the tap water throughout French Polynesia is not considered safe to drink (although some hotels and pensions treat their water for guests' convenience). Most hotels and pensions will also provide the tools you need to keep the bugs away--but even fancy hotels can't keep mosquitos out (no matter what that Expedia TV ad says). Fortunately, on the water, there are far fewer insects than there are inland. _______________________ Cleveland, OH: What is the total air time for this trip from Cleveland, OH? Is a day lost on the return trip? Jason Cochran: I'll answer this in terms of Los Angeles so it will be of use to everyone. The flight to Papeete takes about 7 1/2 hours from LAX. From there, flights to the most popular outlying islands take as little as 10 minutes (Moorea) to about an hour (Bora Bora). I'm guessing that Cleveland is about three hours from LAX, so add that to the total--though, of course, you'll have time to get off the plane and stretch your legs in LAX. Also, French Polynesia is not on the other side of the Interntaional Date Line (it's actually slightly more eastern than Hawaii is), so you don't lose or gain a day when you travel to or from it. _______________________ Petersburg, IN: Do you need to be able to speak French to get around Tahiti? Jason Cochran: Not really. It's a tourism hotspot. Although many innkeepers, drivers, and staffers only speak French fluently, they are used to dealing with international tourists who speak other languages (German, English, Spanish, Dutch). So almost anyone you'll meet in the tourism industry can either speak workable English or get by with a few words. It's easy for Americans to forget how often people in the rest of the world have to adapt to the language barrier. For them, it's not a problem when languages don't blend. Also, most places have written English-language materials on hand for guests just like you. Even the menus are usually available in English--although since French cooking terms are so common in America, you will probably be able to easily order without the help. Grab a French phrase book and memorize the essentials (thank you='merci", hello='bon jour", and so on), and you'll be just fine. _______________________ Atlanta, GA: How warm is it without air-conditioning in September through November? (The promised ceiling fan and trade winds in Grenada in May were not enough!) Jason Cochran: Most of the time, you'll be fine if your hotel is near the coast. In February and March, though, the air is often as still as if someone switched it off, and even sleeping under a ceiling fan can be uncomfortable. Of course, that gives you a good excuse to go swimming every hour! _______________________ Irvine, CA: What excursions do you recommend on Moorea, for 2 very active 30-somethings? We leave on Saturday for 1 week. Jason Cochran: My favorite activity was swimming with the stingrays. You're taken out on a boat deep into the northern lagoon, where you anchor and then jump overboard into waist-deep water. Your guide hauls out a bag of frozen fish and the stingrays, who became tame by getting their lunch like this every day, come sweeping in. You can feed them by hand, pet them, and feel their spongy flesh. Bring your own mask and flippers and you can swim with them. Several companies offer this excursion, which is usually preceded by a "swim with the sharks" feeding and followed by a picnic on a lovely offshore island (motu) that's fringed with coral gardens. I went with Moorea Explorer, which also supplies transportation to and from where you're staying. It takes all day and costs in the neighborhood of $70. I loved it. (They used to have a few such stingrays on Huahine, too, but a few locals decided to take advantage of their tameness--and speared them for dinner.) _______________________ Rancho Santa Margarita, CA: How prevelant is it to use ATM machines on Moorea (and other islands) for exchange purposes? Do the various vendors strictly take the Tahitian currency, or are USD accepted? Thank you! Jason Cochran: Big topic! Before you go to French Polynesia, grill your bank about whether your card will be accepted in ATMs there! Some people report no troubles, but others (including me) have had serious problems. My card didn't work at all, at any machine, and if I hadn't brought plenty of travelers' checks, I would have been in trouble. So make sure your ATM card will work--just call your bank's customer service line and get to the bottom of it. The official name of the country, for your reference, is French Polynesia (Tahiti, the name of the largest island, is the nickname). If you run out of money, don't expect your bank to be able to rush to the rescue right away, since many big companies (Citibank included) do not have offices anywhere in the entire region. If you want to feel completely safe, bring travelers' checks as a backup--all hotels take them, and you can always re-deposit them in your bank if you don't use them. Credit cards are widely accepted, but American Express is not as widely taken as the others, so don't rely on it, either. Many places, especially shops and restaurants, only accept cash. Dollars are not accepted--you must exhange your money into French Polynesian Francs, which currently trade at about 92 to the US Dollar. _______________________ Manhattan, NY: Hi Jason, I was wondering how Tahiti compares to the Hawaiian experience? Jason Cochran: I prefer it. Hawaii, for all its palm trees and breathtaking mountains, is still America, and no matter how tan you get there, you're still aware that you're sort of at home. In French Polynesia, French is the mother tongue, and that gives visitors a real sense of having traveled. When you strip down and lay upon the sands of a Tahitian beach, you really feel like you're in a distant idyll, far from the mundane world you know, and that goes a long way toward helping you feel like you've escaped from it all. The food is French, too--not to say Hawaii's cuisine isn't marvelous, but how can you argue with fresh baguettes every morning? Lastly, the beaches in the two island chains are totally different. Hawaii is all about crashing surf. French Polynesia is a country of lagoons, which means most of the shoreline is protected by coral reefs in the distance, so the warm ocean water simply laps against the beach as calmly as the water might quiver in your bathtub at home. So in FP, snorkeling and swimming are much less taxing compared to Hawaii, and you can see a lot more interesting and colorful sea life without much effort. In the end, Hawaii makes me feel like a jungle explorer, and French Polynesia makes me feel like a castaway on a tranquil beach. By the way, one addendum to my answer to the previous questions: Each island, most of which take less than an hour to drive around, has at least one ATM on it. Tahiti has many more, but most of them cluster around the city of Papeete. All the hotels and shopkeepers can tell you where the nearest ATM is located. _______________________ Diamond Bar, CA: I do not have adventurous tastes, so can I get a steak or a cheeseburger?? Also, the wife likes topless beaches. Is this the standard there? Thanks. Jason Cochran: You may not be adventurous, but it sounds like your wife is! Happily, you'll both be satisfied. Burgers and sandwiches are very easy to find throughout French Polynesia--they've become world cuisine. And French Polynesia shares France's taste for terrific bread. Getting an "all-over tan" is no trick, either, since there are miles of beaches that are pretty much empty. Not only is it considered acceptable to go topless in the islands--thank that European culture--it's easy to accomplish. Just find an empty beach and do your thing. Moorea's beaches are generally uncrowded once you get away from the resorts, but for empty beaches practically everywhere, Huahine's the place. There's barely a tourist in sight on most of them. _______________________ Ann Arbor, MI: I'm looking to head out to Polynesia next spring and stay there on an extended vacation for at least a few months. Problem is, I really have no idea how the temporary/summer work scene is. I've worked summers in Lagos, Portugal and Barcelona, Spain, but I've never had the opportunity to travel to the islands of Polynesia. So, my questions are how easy is it to find decent work there, what time of the year is best for getting a job, and how easily could one simply live there for at least a few months. Im a young guy who just wants to experience the world before I get too caught up in the inevitable "real job" scene. Thanks in advance. Jason Cochran: I don't know much about the ins and outs of the job scene, but I do know that it's fairly saturated. Because French nationals can move there and work there legally, Tahiti has plenty of itinerant visitors who will beat you to the drudge work. Just about every job is already taken by a local or by a French national. And because tourism isn't doing gangbuster business right now, there isn't that much call for temporary help. Better to find a cheap place to stay (Huahine has bunches) and sack out with your savings. You're probably not going to find work. _______________________ Smyrna, GA: You addressed getting to Papeete. How do you get from Papeete to Huahine? Jason Cochran: From Papeete, flights go to all the tourist's islands, including Huahine, Moorea, and Bora Bora. (There's a half-hour ferry that goes to Moorea from Papeete, too, because the two islands are so close.) Inter-island flights generally cost about $100 each way; Air Tahiti is the dominant player. _______________________ Minneapolis, MN: Hi Jason, Imagine my surprise when I received my new issue of Budget Travel! The day before I was able to book frequent flier tickets to New Zealand via Tahiti in March (by the way, the same thing happened last year when we were planning a trip to Croatia--you are very timely with your articles!). We will have a four day layover in Tahiti. Should we go directly to Moorea and spend all our time there or should we plan to spend some time on Tahiti? I plan to book in one of the pensions you mentioned. P.S. Where will your next article take us? Jason Cochran: Thanks! I love hearing that my articles are helping people--I work very hard researching them! To answer your question, yes, I'd head off to Moorea for the duration; most of the time, transpacific flights are timed in such a way that you'll be able to leave Papeete for another island right away. I personally find the island of Tahiti to be too crowded and full of traffic, and I get more of that "South Pacific" feeling on the outlying islands such as Moorea and Huahine. (I don't care for Bora Bora--it's gorgeous but everything there is MUCH too expensive and the visitors tend to hang out at resorts rather than do anything interesting. Huahine is my favorite.) And to answer your last questions, it looks like my next article will be a collection of dream driving tours across three very different areas of Australia. Look for it this winter! _______________________ Temple City, CA: What is happening with the old Club Med property on Moorea? Will it reopen in some form? Do you recommend the Club Med on Bora Bora? Jason Cochran: The Moorean property doesn't look like it's going to open anytime soon; there have been some squabbles with the local people, who don't want to relinquish the land back to Club Med. In fact, some islanders have moved into some of the old bungalows and taken them for their homes! That leaves the Bora Bora location, which is sumptuous to say the least. It attracts a slightly less active clientele than the Moorea campus did, but for my money, it's prettier. Speaking of Club Med, you can often get a really good deal for stays there if you don't book ahead. When you get off your international flight in Papeete, head into the city center. On the main road facing the harbor, there's a Club Med office. Pop in and ask if there are any last-minute deals. Resort occupancy throughout the islands has been pitifully low lately, and so you can almost always score a deal for around $80 a day (or under half the published price), including all food, drink, and sports, plus transportation to and from Bora Bora from Papeete. It's a risk that the Club Med will be full, but chances are you won't be sorry. _______________________ Raleigh, NC: I am trying to decide between Moorea and Huahine - recommendations? And, should I get a car or mini-car? Jason Cochran: Moorea has the laid-back resorts and the inland hiking, and Huahine has miles of truly empty beaches and a lost-in-the-Pacific vibe. I also love that Huahine has some unexpected oddities, such as an inland village with a freshwater stream populated by a team of giant eels! As for the car--definitely get one. Since distances are not great and the roads are generally flat, it doesn't matter what kind you rent (unless you plan off-road driving), but if you want to fan out and explore the many empty beaches, you'll need wheels. (Learn to drive a stick if you don't already know how--manual rentals are much cheaper than automatic ones!) _______________________ San Diego, CA: Thanks for the subject! I read your article this morning on the various family-run hotel options on the several isles. My question is mosquitos. I didn't see mosquito netting over the beds. Are we destined to be eaten alive when we sleep at these places (or any of the hotels/resorts in Tahiti) or do the rooms provide any protection? Jason Cochran: Yes, all the hotels, including the ones I describe, will give you the tools you need, whether that means coils, electic repellant, netting, screens, or just windows and doors that shut tight. Bring a little repellant with DEET in it, and that should take care of everything. (I was barely bitten myself when I was researching that story.) _______________________ Atlanta, GA: My husband and I just got married and are planning to take our honeymoon this November. It has always been a dream of mine to stay in one of those over-the-water bungalows with breathtaking views and a lot of peace and quite. There are so many in the French Polynesian to choose from. Which resort offers the best deal (we were focusing a week either in Bora Bora or Moorea) with a good deal of seclusion. Thanks! Jason Cochran: The least expensive overwater bungalows that I have found are at the Club Bali Hai, on the northern coast of Moorea. They're still around $250 a night, so I wouldn't call them cheap, but that's half as much as the bungalows at many other properties such as the Sheraton. It's on a deepwater bay with a stunning view of the jagged mountains beyond. As a rule, anything on Bora Bora is going to cost you top dollar, even if the quality isn't top drawer. Also look into a somewhat new Moorea Pearl Resort, on the north coast. It faces the open ocean on a huge lagoon. Its prices are creeping into the stratosphere, but compared to its competition, it's a better value. (Keep in mind, by the way, that overwater bungalows are increasingly despised by locals, since they're so bad for the environment.) I would avoid the Sofitel on Moorea, since it has seen better days. _______________________ San Francisco, CA: We're returning to FP for the 3rd time in December. What are your recommendations for best cheap (but memorable) restaurants on Moorea? Thanks. Jason Cochran: My favorite is Mahagony, on the northeast coast of the island. Its escargot blew my mind and they have a creme brulee to die for! It's not far from several of the big resorts, including the Pearl, the Beachcomber, the Sofitel--and the gorgeous place on the cover of this month's Budget Travel, La Baie de Nuarei. _______________________ Pittsburgh, PA: Why don't you include Bora Bora as one of your top sites in French Polynesia? I was just at Tahiti and didn't think it was so great. Jason Cochran: Bora Bora is great, but it is overpriced and it's generally booked by package tourists who don't want or need help in finding family-owned pensions. There are few private accommodations there. Tahiti island, on the other hand, is the first place every visitor from North America will first touch down, and depending on their flight timings, they may have to spend a day or two there. It's also the best place to learn about modern Polynesian culture, since the big museums and markets are located there. The area near the city is not too appealing, but if you go to the "back end" of the island, far from the urban sprawl, the beaches and hiking are quite rewarding. _______________________ Jason Cochran: Looks like that's all (s)he wrote! I'm out of time, but thanks to the past hour, I'm in a Tahitian state of mind! Thanks for some great questions--I hope everyone who asked one gets a chance to visit these beautiful islands someday soon.

It's a bit of advice tossed off by so-called travel experts all the time: "When you're trying to save money, look into a charter flight." As if they were listed in the phone book. Even the Web fails to be much help in finding schedules and prices. What exactly is a charter flight? Conventional airlines, including large carriers like United and smaller ones like Spirit and JetBlue, choose their routes and schedule regular departures. With charters, itineraries are set not by the airplane owner but by another party--possibly a very rich individual, but more often a tour operator that charters the plane. The latter scenario is the one that interests people who aren't CEOs or movie stars. "Think of the charter flight like a taxicab," said Betty Shotton, CEO of Sea Air, which operates charter flights to and from North Carolina's Outer Banks. "You pay the driver the same total whether there's one person or five. The more people, the cheaper it is per person." The names of some charter outfits sound like pseudonyms in a novel--Pace Airlines, North American Airlines, and Ryan International are a few examples--but there's little difference from the conventional carriers when it comes to safety regulations, security, and personnel. It's Mostly About Convenience... Instead of relying on mainstream airline routes--which often involve changing planes because of the old hub-and-spoke systems--our operators arrange for non-stop charter flights to cart passengers straight to popular vacation spots. The destination is almost always someplace warm. Flights are usually sold with lodging as part of a package and tend to depart at times ideal for vacationers. Club Med charters, for instance, leave the U.S. early on Saturdays so that guests can be on the beach by midday. ...And Price Tour operators pay one price per plane trip, and they decide how much to charge each passenger. Rates fluctuate based on season and demand, but they tend to be less expensive than those of mainstream airlines. (Most charter passengers have no idea what their flight costs, however, because they paid one set price for a package that includes accommodations.) Though standard carriers tend to raise prices as the departure nears, that's when some tour operators sell seats on charter flights at bargain rates, either alone or as part of a vacation package. The Downsides Some charters fly two or three times a week, others are weekly, and then there are ones scheduled sporadically for special events and peak travel seasons. Limited departures mean little flexibility. If the schedule doesn' jibe with your needs, there's no alternative but the mainstream airlines. And if you miss your charter flight, chances are you won't be able to catch another later that day or even the day after that's--because there might not be one. Another negative: Many charters can only be booked via a travel agent, who may or may not tack on service fees and delivery charges (which can add $40 or more to your total). Looking for last-minute deals You won't find a central list of charter departures anywhere on the Web. The only real source of info is a knowledgeable travel agent. Here are five companies that sell seats on charters, sometimes at fire-sale prices if you buy within two weeks of departure. Apple Vacations (book via travel agent only), applevacations.comOrigins/Destinations: 18 U.S. cities to over 40 destinations in Caribbean, Mexico and Central America Funjet Vacations (book via travel agent only), funjet.comOrigins/Destinations: 12 U.S. cities to Las Vegas, Florida, Hawaii, and 7 destinations in Caribbean and Mexico. Ski destinations in Colorado and Canada too. SunTrips 800/786-8747, suntrips.comOrigins/Destinations: Oakland, Seattle, Washington, D.C., and/or Denver to Hawaii, Mexico, Costa Rica, and Azores Vacation Express 877/784-3786, vacationexpress.comOrigins/Destinations: 13 U.S. cities to Myrtle Beach, Orlando and 9 destinations in the Caribbean, Mexico, and Costa Rica Worry-Free Vacations 888/225-5658, worryfreevacations.comOrigins/Destinations: 9 U.S. cities to Las Vegas, Florida, Hawaii, Costa Rica, and 16 destinations in the Caribbean and Mexico

In 1993, the quilting bug bit a group of nurses and receptionists at an OB/GYN office in Fitchburg, Mass. The ladies--Terri Bulger, Pattie Kullman, Judy Logue, Lucille McCaie, Cathy McCarthy, and Nancy Sulin--started meeting once a week outside of work to learn the craft from Nancy. Quilting lessons quickly became an excuse to gossip, relax, eat, and laugh. Their office shut down and the women moved on to other jobs, but the gatherings remained sacrosanct. "We decided upon Thursday night," explained Terri. "Hell or high water, you'd better be there!" The Red Hat Society, an informal organization of mature women who get together to whoop it up while wearing bright-red hats, seemed like a natural fit for the six fun-loving friends. They officially joined the society a year ago, and now the ladies, whose ages range from 45 to 53, regularly dress for outings in their most outlandish red chapeaus. They also pool their funds together for an annual group vacation. Past trips have included Cape Cod, where Nancy has a house, and Amish country in Pennsylvania. "We had been doubling the money we threw in the pot and thought, 'Let's take a big trip,'" said Terri. "Some of the girls had never left the country," said Lucille. "We decided we were going to do Europe." London was at the top of everyone's list, and they booked airfare and a flat close to Trafalgar Square, through Mansley Travel Apartments (011-44/20-7373-4689, mtaint.co.uk) for four nights in early November. Since none of them had been to London, the major sights were a must. Just as important was exploring local stores and markets, so they contacted us for help. First things first: We steered the Red Hatters to a few websites that cover most of the basics: visitlondon.com has a great link (click on Budget) that lists free museums and attractions, ways to save on theater tickets, and tips for finding deals at designer stores; londontown.com posts discounts on tours, hotels, and airport transfers, as well as hundreds of restaurant reviews; and timeout.com/london offers the lowdown on bars, art exhibits, and events. "Do the double-decker buses still run?" asked Terri. "It would be fun to get up on the deck and spot things and say, 'I'd like to go there.'" We told them about the Big Bus Company (48 Buckingham Palace Rd., 011-44/20-7233-9533, bigbustours.com,) a popular option that lets tourists hop on and off at more than 50 stops. Each bus ticket comes with guided walks in town and a cruise on the Thames; a pass valid for 24 hours is £18 (due to the weak dollar, that's a steep $32, though they can save £2 by booking online). A less touristy ride around London--but without the Big Bus's sightseeing commentary--costs as little as $4.50, the rate for one day of unlimited travel on the city's public buses (hop on route numbers 3, 11, 77A, or 159). Bus passes need to be purchased before boarding, at any Tube station or roadside ticket machine(Transport for London: 011-44/20-7941-4500, tfl.gov.uk, day bus pass $4.50.) But sightseeing can only get a girl so far. "Millinery shops are a must," Lucille told us. The ladies will be searching for (what else?) some new red hats, and, lucky for them, London is a mad hatter's dream. For this important mission, we're sending them to Rachel Trevor-Morgan (18 Crown Passage, 011-44/20-7839-8927.) Located off of posh Pall Mall, the high-end shop is in walking distance of their apartment. We also thought the group would get a kick out of a visit to the boutique of Philip Treacy (69 Elizabeth St., 011-44/20-7730-3992,) the Irish-born milliner whose fanciful hats are displayed in museums and on the heads of celebs such as Victoria Beckham. To round out the hat search, we recommended a visit to London's landmark department store Harrods (87 Brompton Rd., Knightsbridge, 011-44/20-7730-1234.) Terri makes clothes for her infant granddaughter and is always on the hunt for material, Cathy is interested in cross-stitching, and all six of the women like to sew and quilt. We recommended Berwick Street in London's Westminster neighborhood, where stores such as Textile King (81 Berwick St., 011-44/20-7437-7372) and Accessories World (71 Berwick St., 011-44/20-7734-1698) specialize in rare fabrics and jewelry sold wholesale. For a higher-end shop, Liberty (Regent St., 011-44/20-7734-1234) founded in 1875, is the place to go. Once inside the formidable Tudor entrance on Great Marlborough Street, the women will find first-rate haberdashery, yarn, cross-stitching kits, clothing and upholstering fabric, patterns, buttons, and thread galore in the sprawling, wood-paneled store. (Liberty also has a fine hat department.) Things can cost a bundle here, but those willing to plow through the sale merchandise can find bargains. The crew was also curious about London's open-air markets, where shops set up stalls right on the street. Because the ladies are antiquers, we directed them to the unbeatable Portobello Road Market in Notting Hill, held every Saturday. Smart shoppers stop by early, since all the wares are put out in the morning. A lesser-known market but one with incredible flowers--which Pattie simply can't get enough of--is the Columbia Road Flower Market in east London, held every Sunday. Pattie won't be able to bring fresh blossoms back with her, but we suggested she dry some choice specimens for homemade potpourri. After getting their fill of shopping, the girls want to hit the town. Judy, a darts addict, planned to bring her own darts--put them in your checked luggage, Judy!--and try her luck in a pub. The rest of the women volunteered to be her cheering squad. "We stir things up quite a bit," Terri said. "But I don't want to get thrown out of anywhere!" One place that will be happy to have them is the Anchor Pub, in Battersea (61 Holgate Ave., 011-44/20-7585-1105,) where darts trophies crowd the shelves. Seven different teams play regularly at the pub, and people bring in darts for nightly tournaments. No trip to London would be complete without seeing the Queen and Prince Charles. And why not throw in the Beatles and Madonna? The ladies refused to leave without visiting Madame Tussauds (Marylebone Rd., 011-44/870-400-3000, madame-tussauds.co.uk, day ticket $35.50,) the famous waxworks. We cautioned them against the tempting advance-ticket booking option. For £2 extra (almost $4) they would have a guaranteed entry time, which would be worth it in the summer, when lines can last several hours. In the off-season, however, waits are usually only a few minutes and almost never more than a half hour. Also, the museum is open until 7 p.m., and although standard tickets start at $36, rates drop by $7.20 at 3 p.m., and by another $9 at 5 p.m. Finally, we had to ask: Are husbands ever invited on the trips? "No!" Lucille exclaimed. "England doesn't know what's going to hit them," said one spouse, who wanted to remain anonymous. "If they did, they'd close the border."