Hong Kong Gets Green

MAY O. Henry Pun-Off in Austin, Tex.Thirty-two punny participants hash it out in timed contests like "punniest of the show" and "punslingers" until one champ is left standing. A book sale and proceeds from a silent auction benefit the city's O. Henry Museum. May 17, 2008; punpunpun.com, free. Horned Toad Derby in Coalinga, Calif.Tuck into barbecued beef while watching competitions of all sorts: toads rushing to cross the finish line first (or rather, just wandering in circles); firemen competing to push a bucket of cement using fire hoses; and locals playing at softball. May 23-26, 2008; coalingachamber.com, 559/935-2948, free. JUNE Testicle Festival in Olean, Mo.Olean may be tiny, but its residents have the gumption, sense of humor, and adventurous eating habits to pull off this annual fest. The main attraction is mountain oysters, a polite term for fried turkey testicles. Kudos to reader Judy McFarland of Columbia, Mo., who wrote in about the festival last year. We've also learned Olean doesn't have the lock on testicles—Montana has been celebrating them for more than 25 years. June 7, 2008; eldonchamber.com, $5. Watermelon Thump in Luling, Tex.This four-day celebration takes its name from the time-tested way to tell if a melon is ripe: thump it with your fingers and see if it has a ring to it. There aren't any thumping contests, but you can test your talents at seed spitting and speedy melon eating. A lucky local grower will win a prize for largest Black Diamond melon. June 26-29, 2008; watermelonthump.com, admission and main-stage concerts are free Thursday and Sunday, admission is $2 on Fridays, $3 on Saturdays, and main-stage concerts are $20. Mermaid Parade in Brooklyn, N.Y.Parade goers clad in flashy sea-inspired costumes turn out for this 26-year-old Coney Island tradition. (The future of some traditions is uncertain as development plans are in the works for the iconic amusement park.) While you still can, catch revelers traipsing down Surf Avenue alongside antique cars and floats. June 21, 2008; coneyisland.com, free. JULY International Cherry Pit-Spitting Championship in Eau Claire, Mich.Tree-Mendus Fruit, a family-run cherry-growing business, launched this championship in 1974. The current distance for spitters to beat is a shocking 93 feet 6 ½ inches, a Guinness world record set by Brian "Young Gun" Krause in 2003. July 5, 2008; tree-mendus.com, free. Summer Redneck Games in East Dublin, Ga.A good-natured and outrageous embrace of all things redneck, the games include bobbing for pig feet, hurling hubcaps, and belly flopping in a giant mud pit. July 5, 2008; summerredneckgames.com, $5. Telluride Nothing Festival in Telluride, Colo.A tongue-in-cheek event created in 1991 by a local who was fed up with larger festivals in the area. Sometimes bands perform, but otherwise, as promised, not much happens—"gravity will continue to be in effect" and there's a "sense of humor search," according to the website. July 18-20, 2008; telluridenothingfestival.com, free. Gilroy Garlic Festival in Gilroy, Calif.Instead of festival staples like popcorn and cotton candy, feast on snacks prepared with more than two tons of garlic (breath mints not included!). A local gal crowned Miss Gilroy Garlic reigns over three days filled with live music acts, arts and crafts vendors, and a fiery garlic cook-off. July 25-27, 2008; gilroygarlicfestival.com, $12. Lumberjack World Championships in Hayward, Wis.More than 100 lumberjacks and lumberjills square off at chopping, sawing, rolling, and climbing logs. The championships date back to 1960 and take place in a former holding pond for logs that was owned by the Weyerhaeuser's North Wisconsin Lumber Company. July 25-27, 2008; lumberjackworldchampionships.com, tickets start at $14 or $40 for a three-day pass. AUGUST The National Hobo Convention in Britt, IowaReal and aspiring hobos, those train-riding and often-sung-about migrants, gather each August for a flea market, a parade, poetry readings, and a memorial. True to form, most attendees sleep at the hobo jungle located by the railroad tracks on the northeast side of Britt. Aug. 7-10, 2008; hobo.com, free. Tug Fest in LeClaire, IowaIt's Iowa versus Illinois, with male and female teams from each state heaving on ropes in three-minute tug contests. Keeping things lively are local bands, a hometown heroes parade, and a huge show of fireworks shot off from a barge diplomatically situated on the Mississippi River between state lines. Aug. 7-9, 2008; tugfest.com, $3 or $5 for a two-day pass. SEPTEMBER The Cowboy Trade Day in Catoosa, Okla.Self-described "has-been old-timer" Hurley Hughes was inspired to start a trade day back in 1995. Not wanting to create just another flea market, he's kept the growing event focused on cowboy, Western, and Native American wares. Sept. 20, 2008; cowboytrader.com, $5. How Berkeley Can You Be in Berkeley, Calif.Poking good-natured fun at peace, love, and all that Berkeley jazz, the festival and parade were started by John Solomon, who owns a business on University Avenue and wanted to improve the neighborhood's image and sense of community. Sept. 28, 2008; howberkeleycanyoube.com, free. OCTOBER Yellville Turkey Trot in Yellville, Ark.The National Wild Turkey Calling contest, which attracts callers of all ages, has been a feather in this small town's cap for more than 60 years. Local restaurants cook special turkey dinners during the festival, which includes a 5K run, crafts vendors, and beauty pageants (the swimsuit one is dubbed Miss Drumsticks). Oct. 10-11, 2008; yellville.com, admission free, $5 for the turkey calling contest and $5 for the pageants. Emma Crawford Coffin Races in Manitou Springs, Colo.Costumed impersonators of Emma—a 19th-century lady who was buried atop Red Mountain—ride on coffins pulled by teams of four mourners in this kooky, pre-Halloween race along Manitou Avenue. Emma supposedly haunts the mountain even though her coffin washed away years after her burial. Oct. 25, 2008; manitousprings.org, free. NOVEMBER World Championship Punkin Chunkin in Sussex County, Dela.Helmet-wearing participants load homemade cannons in the hopes of launching pumpkins nearly 4,000 feet across a field. Oct. 31-Nov. 2, 2008; punkinchunkin.com, $7. Giant Omelette Celebration in Abbeville, La.Ever since 1984, when three members of the local chamber of commerce attended the Easter Omelette Festival in Bessieres, France, Abbeville has been one of seven cities worldwide to host an annual omelette festival. Representatives from each city are on hand to help local chefs prepare the celebration's pièce de résistance—a 5,000-egg Cajun omelette. Nov. 1-2, 2008; giantomelette.org, free, historic homes tour, $10. DECEMBER Wilderness Woman Contest in Talkeetna, AlaskaLadies, single and at least 21 years old, test their mettle by hauling firewood, fetching water, shooting ptarmigan, opening beer cans, and performing other tasks vital to surviving married life on the frontier—according to the Talkeetna Bachelor Society, anyway, which hosts the event and highly recommends a sense of humor. Dec. 6, 2008; talkeetnachamber.org, free. JANUARY Bed Races in Oatman, Ariz.Five teammates (two to push, two to pull, one to sit) sporting pajamas or outlandish costumes maneuver beds through an obstacle course in teeny Oatman. Once home to gold miners, it's now a tourist trap with daily shoot-outs and a herd of burros that wanders the streets looking to be fed. Burro braying contests, a chamber-pot parade—literally, people banging pots—and a toilet-seat toss (target: a traffic cone) make this event one of the wackiest. Date TBD; oatmangoldroad.com, free. Icebox Days XXVIIII in International Falls, Minn.Each year, city council members from International Falls challenge those from its sister city, Fort Frances, across the Canadian border, to a snowshoe race as part of a four-day festival embracing the area's chilly winters. Among activities like a snowshoe hike and "Freeze Yer Gizzard Blizzard" 10K and 5K runs is one bizarre standout: outdoor bowling with frozen turkeys for balls. Jan. 15-18, 2009; internationalfallsmn.us, free. FEBRUARY International Water Tasting in Berkeley Springs, W.Va.This historic spa town boasts three times as many massage therapists as lawyers and claims it was visited by a young George Washington for the healing power of its natural springs. At the competition, judges compare more than 100 entries from around the globe in a blind tasting. Onlookers can sip samples, vote in a best-package-design contest, and attend seminars. Feb. 19-22, 2009; berkeleysprings.com, free. MARCH Ostrich Festival in Chandler, Ariz.Live bands, kid-friendly rides, and more than 150 crafts and food vendors—some of whom sell ostrich burgers—are the backdrop for the weekend's main event at Tumbleweed Park: a series of ostrich races with participants hanging on tightly. Date TBD; ostrichfestival.com, tickets from $7. APRIL World Grits Festival in St. George, S.C.The folks in St. George love their grits (they consume the most per capita of any place in the country) and have been throwing an annual festival since 1986. Expect eating contests, corn tossing and shelling, and the crowning of a one-and-only Miss Grits. Date TBD; worldgritsfestival.com, free. World Cow Chip Throwing Championships in Beaver, Okla.The nine-day Cimarron Territory Celebration—packed with the likes of a kiddie parade and horseshoe throwing—culminates on the third Saturday of each April, when men and women fling dried cow chips with all their might across a roped-off course. Apr. 11-19, 2009; beavercountychamberofcommerce.com, free.

Dolphins Eight dolphins displaced by Hurricane Katrina were flown to a habitat run by Atlantis resort in the Bahamas. A half-hour of play with the dolphins runs $150. "You can even feel their heartbeats," says a staffer. 800/285-2684, atlantis.com. Koalas To cuddle one of the koalas at Kuranda Koala Gardens, a tropical-wildlife park in Queensland, Australia, talk to the folks at the Koala House desk ($13). "It's a lot like holding a baby," says a keeper. 011-61/7-4093-9953, koalagardens.com. Manatees You can snorkel in Florida's King Spring for 90 minutes, reaching out and touching a manatee (if one of the sweet, chubby-faced animals approaches first). Captain Mike's Sunshine River Tours, 352/628-3450, crystalrivertours.com, $50. Giraffes The Intro to Zoo Keeping at ZSL London Zoo lets you help out with the likes of giraffes, big cats, and penguins. (Also available at ZSL Whipsnade Zoo.) Reservations for 2008 can be made as of this fall. 011-44/20-7449-6274, zsl.org, $310. Elephants In the Trunk-in-Hand program at the Elephant Sanctuary, near Cape Town, South Africa, you get to hold an elephant's trunk and walk a short while before feeding the animal. 011-27/44-534-8145, elephantsanctuary.co.za, $36, $18 kids. Monkeys Mario and Lori Pi run tours on Roatán island, Honduras, that include hanging with white-faced, spider, and howler monkeys. "Don't wear sunglasses," warns Mario. Roatán Tourist Info, 011-504/3336-5597, roatantouristinfo.com, $17, $8 kids. Polar Bears At Polar Bear Habitat in Cochrane, Ontario, thrill-seekers clamber into a shallow pool with a glass partition; on the other side, there's a 26-year-old male bear named Nanook and two younger female twins. 705/272-2327, polarbearhabitat.ca, $20, $12 kids.

Round-trip airfare between Chengdu and Beijing, Hong Kong, or Shanghai runs $400 to $680 on Dragonair or Air China. The Wolong Nature Reserve is five hours from Chengdu; for under $100 a day, you can hire a driver at Chengdu's Dragon Town youth hostel (011-86/28-8664-8408, dragontown.com.cn). The hotels in Wolong are the Wolong Hotel (011-86/837-624-6888) and the Panda Inn (011-86/837-624-3028). The Wolong Panda Club charges $33 per day to volunteer with the pandas; playing with cubs costs $130 (011-86/837-624-3058, pandaclub.net).

It began by accident. My girlfriend, Ronni, and her twin sister, Marina, rented a documentary on panda bears. We all melted. Then we went online and found videos of tourists, somewhere in China, embracing pandas. One showed a gaggle of cubs eagerly descending a slide in what looked like panda day care. "We have to find this place," Ronni said, eyes lighting up. A friend of a friend had recently gone to China on a botanical excursion, and I could see the wheels turning in Ronni's and Marina's heads. Soon enough, we had tickets and immunization appointments. Much in the same way you might say, "Hey, let's go to a movie," we made plans to cross the Pacific. We had no basis to believe that meeting pandas was possible for ordinary people. We consulted guidebooks and online travel forums, and our best bet appeared to be a facility for research and visitors at the Wolong Nature Reserve, about five hours away from Chengdu in Sichuan province. Because it was difficult to reach, we figured it must be more rewarding. Once in Hong Kong, I contracted a fixer on the mainland to help sort everything out. His name was Huang, and he'd been to Wolong earlier that year with National Geographic. Ever since Empress Wu Zetian sent a pair of panda bears to the Japanese emperor around A.D. 700, China's public face has been represented by the furry goodwill ambassadors, who even forced a smile from Richard Nixon. Today, we noticed upon arrival in Shanghai, you don't see dour Mao nearly as much as Jingjing, the flower-crowned cartoon panda that's one of the Beijing 2008 Olympic mascots, and just the first in the parade of pandas that adorn China's storefronts, advertising, clothing, and vibrant cell-phone-charm industry. In Chengdu, we were greeted at the airport by a 40-foot column topped with a giant bronze panda. On our way into the city, we also couldn't help but notice that the lampposts, rickshaws, and even highway overpasses were festooned or stenciled or otherwise decorated with pandas. But Chengdu was just a transit point for our trek along the Min and Pitiao Rivers to the Wolong Nature Reserve. We hired a driver, part of a fairly dodgy tour we'd found last-minute on the Internet. All road travel in China happens frenetically--the constant, aggressive brinksmanship of millions of shoddy minivans with toy-like wheels. We left for Wolong at dusk, ascending steep gorges that sometimes disappeared into the mist, on roads that sometimes disappeared altogether. There's no real town, and not many restaurants, other than the shabby ones at the Wolong Hotel and the Panda Inn. The following day, we awoke to a crisp and cool autumn day, with the sound of the river filling the narrow valley. This is the panda's native habitat, a subalpine arboreal wonderland that makes you understand Chinese fairy tales. The China Conservation and Research Center for the Giant Panda has marked off large enclosures for its several dozen pandas. Last summer, the notoriously fickle pandas produced 18 cubs. We could see some of them through the glass of the nursery. The newest born were tiny pink nubs. Those slightly older were fed with bottles. The cubs we had seen online were from the previous summer. A little over a year old, all 16 played together in a single enclosure next to the nursery. Three Japanese girls entered the day-care center and frolicked among the cubs. "How can we do that?" I asked Tang, one of the keepers. He took us to an office, where we discovered advance work to arrange a special panda visit is unnecessary. To hug baby pandas, all you have to do is show up and pay the Wolong Panda Club $130 per person. That's nothing for five minutes of nirvana. In the flesh, the cubs were so unbelievably cute that they seemed artificial. With their round heads, big eyes, and rolling gait, they looked and acted like Jim Henson creations. Touching one felt like meeting a unicorn. The cubs moved like puppies in a curious, playful swarm. They didn't lick so much as nuzzle. And grab: To our delight, the desire for hugging was mutual, and what began as a careful encounter quickly devolved into fuzzy mayhem as the cubs attached themselves to our arms and legs. At one point, Ronni was dragged to the ground by a clutch of cubs, and she beamed beatifically. "I can't believe this is happening," she said as she freed herself, only to be taken down again. After the staff pulled the cubs off us, we stood around in a daze. Stepping back outside of the panda pen, Ronni stopped grinning long enough to say, "I want to do that again." Round-trip airfare between Chengdu and Beijing, Hong Kong, or Shanghai runs $400 to $680 on Dragonair or Air China. How to Get There The Wolong Nature Reserve is five hours from Chengdu; for under $100 a day, you can hire a driver at Chengdu's Dragon Town youth hostel (011-86/28-8664-8408, dragontown.com.cn). The hotels in Wolong are the Wolong Hotel (011-86/837-624-6888) and the Panda Inn (011-86/837-624-3028). The Wolong Panda Club charges $33 per day to volunteer with the pandas; playing with cubs costs $130 (011-86/837-624-3058, pandaclub.net).